Ace of Spades HQ

January 31, 2005

A Song for Ace in the Event that He Has Died

....................

Cuckling doves,
Chittering swallows,
An old man in the park
With some ducks

Who's getting the porn collection?

....................

UPDATE: An already funny haiku contest has sprung up in comments.

UPDATE: So far I nominate the following:

When the cat's away
the mice lose integrity
Call Vinnie Falcone

by LauraW

And:

Where's Ace? Hell, where's Joe?
Nobody knows who Joe is,
But Ace has conscious.

For getting a precious few more drops out of the Anka-fruit.

Though, the first entry...

Ace of Spades H.Q.
was crushed on the Sundance couch
while "casting" M. Cho

by S. Philabuster set the bar pretty high to begin with, I thought.

the UNPOPULIST

posted by Ace at 12:37 PM

Comments

We should have an Ace haiku contest!

Posted by: rdbrewer on January 31, 2005 12:41 PM

Ooh! Fantastic idea!

Where the hell is that guy anyway...

Posted by: fat kid on January 31, 2005 12:49 PM

Okay, I'm not so sure it's even appropriate to joke.

Who the hell leaves their blog unattended for so long?

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on January 31, 2005 12:54 PM

Ace of Spades H.Q.
was crushed on the Sundance couch
while "casting" M. Cho

Posted by: senator philabuster on January 31, 2005 12:55 PM

"Death in Sundance"

The dealer slices

The death card falls, lies face up

Bottom of the deck

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on January 31, 2005 12:57 PM

I can't remember high school english class to write a haiku with proper structure. So I'll resort to the next bes thing.

There once was a man with some cards
Who left his blog with some bards
They post every minute
Making us fidget
Wondering if we need to find a new yard

Posted by: Aaron Brazell on January 31, 2005 01:09 PM

integrity kick
slice like a fucking hammer
Ace please come home now

Posted by: Dave on January 31, 2005 01:11 PM

Lightning bolt missiles
Margaret Cho's melon-fat head
Springtime in Sundance

Posted by: Eric (yeah that one) on January 31, 2005 01:12 PM

There once was a man named Ace...

Wait, that's not haiku.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on January 31, 2005 01:21 PM

There once was a man named Ace
Al Franken sat on his face
"Msdgfwb" he said
As he fell over dead
Semen was all over the place

Posted by: Dave on January 31, 2005 01:27 PM

First there was Johnny
Then Paul with integrity
We now ask, Where's Ace?!?

Posted by: fat kid on January 31, 2005 01:28 PM

I can't get enough sweet haiku action...

The Margaret Cho
The Jeanine Geraffalo
The Ace killed himself

Liberal party
Hollywood Ace in the hole
Al Franken buttfucked

Posted by: Dave on January 31, 2005 01:33 PM

Missing Blogger
concerned Poetic waxings
Who really gives a toss?

Posted by: Adamant on January 31, 2005 01:37 PM

Redford's Perrier
is tepid. "Where's the new butt
boy we hired? Loose shit."

Posted by: skinbad on January 31, 2005 01:37 PM

Awww dip. Skinbad wins my vote.

Posted by: fat kid on January 31, 2005 01:39 PM

"Where is Ace?"

Eye on the instruments -
but was one on the runway?
Did his plane go down?

Posted by: Rocketeer67 on January 31, 2005 01:40 PM

Ace, get back here now
Don't make us get Al Franken
To ride your ass boy

Posted by: Dave on January 31, 2005 01:46 PM

Hillary Clinton
Collapses at speech, God says
Tired of her loose shit

Posted by: Dave on January 31, 2005 01:50 PM

"I find your lack of
faith...disturbing," Ace intoned,
and took back his blog.

When the cat's away
the mice lose integrity
Call Vinnie Falcone

Posted by: lauraw on January 31, 2005 01:50 PM

Not in a gay way
Ace rode Redford and Franken
Love like a viking

Posted by: Midaz on January 31, 2005 01:51 PM

Ace sleeps with the anchovies.

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts on January 31, 2005 01:59 PM

Ace,

Here:

Like a Viking
Ace nails Miriam-Blossom
I question the timing

Posted by: MeTooThen on January 31, 2005 02:30 PM

Where's Ace? Hell, where's Joe?
Nobody knows who Joe is,
But Ace has conscious.

Posted by: Gnostic Surface on January 31, 2005 02:34 PM

Guest bloggers go home
WAS THAT S'POSED TO BE FUNNY?!?
...and so Ace returns

Posted by: fat kid on January 31, 2005 02:37 PM

Hah! Love them!

Posted by: ace on January 31, 2005 03:49 PM

Just looking at skinbads again, and realizing it should read more like:

Redford's Perrier:
Tepid. "Where's the new butt
boy we hired? Loose shit."

Now it's technically correct... Heheheh

Posted by: fat kid on January 31, 2005 08:16 PM