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Tuesday Cafe Democrats Can't Decide Yet Whether Vicious Murderer of Sheridan Gorman Should be Deported or Welcomed to Stay in Our Country Forever Quick Hits Revealed: Joe Kent Kicked Off the Entire Candace Owens Project to Attack Erika Kirk and Claim the Jews Killed Charlie Kirk Despite Hurting Miniature Senator Rand Paul's Fragile Feelings, Markwaye Mullin is Confirmed as Secretary of DHS Democrats Preparing Failure Theater on Their DHS Shutdown? Diversity Is Our Strength: Woke Australian PM Goes to Mosque to Curry Favor With His Country's Rulers, Is Chased Out of the Conquerors' Temple and Sent Running for His Bodyguards Local Crime Story Update: Crazed Abortionist Who Routinely Murdered Children After They Were Born Dies in Prison The Morning Rant: Anonymity Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends
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January 24, 2005
Johnny Carson Special Tonight [Say Anything]I just saw on television that Jay Leno is going to have a tribute to Johnny Carson tonight on the Tonight Show. That's nice and all, but does anybody else find it a little bit funny that Leno be the one to offer the tribute when its pretty clear that Carson liked Letterman better? Its probably appropriate that Carson's tribute be on the show he made famous, but it still struck me as odd. Anyone thinking Letterman's nose is a little out of joint about it? [Cross-posted at Say Anything] [Ace's Addendum] One Last Repost For the Road? A commenter says that Letterman hasn't been funny since he jumped to CBS. Apart from the funny walkie-talkie stuff he did early in his tenure, I think that's right. An old but funny top ten follows. Top Ten Signs That David Letterman's Heart Just Isn't In It Anymore 10. Recent Stupid Pet Tricks include "Sit," "Shake hands," and "Hump the Leg" 9. Has become so jaded he demands that at least one guest per show get up on his desk and perform a striptease; last week's show with Nathan Lane was particularly uncomfortable 8. Old Letterman comedy staple: puckish irony 7. To amuse himself during interviews, has begun playing drinking games; drinks when someone calls a director "generous," chugs when someone says "This script really spoke to me" 6. Wardrobe for show has degenerated into nothing but baggy sweatpants and "Who Farted?" T-shirts 5. Features a new twenty-minute segment in middle of every show called "Dave's Quiet Time," in which audience members are asked to "pursue independent reading" or "engage in quiet group-study" 4. Questions to celebrity guests sound suspiciously similar to clues to the day's New York Times crossword puzzle 3. Last Thursday's show was nothing but a taped teleconference with his tax lawyers, interspersed with "wacky" sound effects and still photos of Larry "Bud" Melman 2. Standard end-of-show sign-off, "You've been great! Drive safely!" replaced with ominous-sounding "Another hour nearer the sweet embrace of death" ... and the Number One Sign That David Letterman's Heart Just Isn't In It Anymore... 1. He's "really looking forward to" his next-scheduled bout of pink-eye posted by Ace at 10:50 PM
CommentsI still say if it aint Carson, it aint the Tonight show. Posted by: Dean on January 24, 2005 11:02 PM
I think it is pretty gracious of Leno to do this, considering Carson was very cold to Leno when he handed over the reins of the show. I always thought it odd that Carson never briefly mentioned during his final show, "Oh, yeah -- good luck to Jay, who is taking over the show tomm." or something to that effect. A lot of people would have held a grudge, but Leno may really be one of the nicest people in America. He would probably be slammed if he didn't do a tribute, but he should also be applauded for doing the right thing considering the history here. Posted by: sonofnixon on January 24, 2005 11:04 PM
Did somebody say Letterman can't do a tribute to Carson? Fox news channel has had a running tribute to him for the last two days. Should Leno *not* do a Carson tribute just because he wasn't Carson's choice? Posted by: Craig R. Harmon on January 24, 2005 11:22 PM
Deans right-Carson is King. Leno is awful and letterman hasnt been as good since he moved to CBS. what happened after the Big bang? Posted by: amish the magnificent on January 24, 2005 11:27 PM
Anyone wanna buy a monkey? Posted by: rdbrewer on January 25, 2005 12:49 AM
The pipes are clean! Posted by: senator philabuster on January 25, 2005 12:51 AM
yeah-i think this guy might be in the market for one: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20050121/ap_on_fe_st/self_castration Posted by: amish on January 25, 2005 12:54 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter One day I'm gonna get that faculty together Remember that everybody has to wait in line Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine
US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.
Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies
“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”
Canadian School Designates Cafeteria And Lunchroom As "No Food Zones" For Ramadan
Canada and the UK are neck and neck in the race to become the first western country to fall to Islam [CBD] [A]n asshole is somebody who looks at a painting of two toddlers doing something totally normal for toddlers and decides that it represents homosexuality and then thinks that publicly saying that is somehow edgy and clever. Instead it is doing what we accuse the Left of, that is sexualizing young children. If that describes you, own it.Muldoon
Update: Reports say The Warthog has been deployed against men
Thanks to fd. Yeah, thanks a bunch, Chief.
Reports: The A-10 Thunderbolt, better known as The Warthog, has been unleashed on Iran
It's a heavily armored (the pilot sits in a titanim bathtub) slow-and-low loitering plane with a massive minigun firing depleted uranium rounds. The capability it brings is the ability to just fly big circles over the country waiting for a target to present itself. This is a weapons platform for eliminating vehicles and personnel. Its first task might be strafing the seas, clearing out any remaining attack boats and minelayers.
Update: My ballpark estimate for a reasonable cost for a wildlife overpass (suitably padded to sate the thirst of Democrat grifters) was $15 million. Turns out, that was a good estimate. That's how much it cost Denver to build one.
Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade.
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