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Monday Overnight Open Thread (3/16/26) The Let Me Give You The What For Edition There's a Tiger In You Cafe Trump: I'm Thinking of Seizing Iran's Critical Port Island, Kharg Quick Hits All Nine Antifa/Trantifa Terrorsts Convicted by Federal Court; This is the First Time Antifa/Trantifa Has Been Convicted of Domestic Terrorism #OscarsSoWoke The New Ayatollah is Probably Gay and What Is Even More Disqualifying, He's Also Dead Axios "Journalist:" The White House Says That Everything Tucker Carlson Is Saying Is Bullshit Taqiyya Qatarlson: The CIA Is Preparing a Criminal Referral Against Me Just Because I Was Acting as a Foreign Agent for Iran Absent Friends
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January 20, 2005
P.J. O'Rourke's Alternate-World Inaugural AddressI can't imagine you haven't already seen this, but if you haven't, let me recommend you read it immediately: And then there is the Tenth Commandment. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's." The Ten Commandments are God's basic rules about how we should live--a brief list of sacred obligations and solemn moral precepts. The first nine Commandments concern theological principles and social law. But then, right at the end, is "Don't envy your buddy's cow." How did that make the top ten? What's it doing there? Why would God, with just ten things to tell Moses, choose as one of those things jealousy about the starter mansion with in-ground pool next door? Not really clear how he went from one premise (spoofing the Inaugural) to another (The Ten Commandments), but hey, it's funny either way. posted by Ace at 11:47 PM
CommentsP.J. O’ Rourke is the greatest. My favorite book of his is “All the Trouble in the World”. It is about the causes of poverty in the world. His solutions to poverty are the only ones that will work. It should be required reading for everyone in the UN. Posted by: jake on January 21, 2005 01:15 AM
Of course, jake, you must read "GIVE WAR A CHANCE" Posted by: underground on January 21, 2005 02:18 AM
I'd reccomend Parliament of Whores, which is subtitled "A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government," as some of P.J.'s finest work. I borrowed it from my Uncle when I was a teenager, and I blame him (my Uncle) and P.J. for prematurely turning me into an embittered Republican before I could ever flirt with the stupid hippie ideals that young people are supposed to briefly embrace. I've since realized that I'm what the author describes in another of his titles as a Republican Party Reptile. That is to say, I looove big defense budgets, want cuts to "entitlement" programs, and wouldn't mind if the Feds kept their nose out of my occasional partying. Posted by: Sean M. on January 21, 2005 05:10 AM
I'm in your debt for posting that. Posted by: ArrMatey on January 21, 2005 08:44 AM
This appears derived from the last chapter of his 'Eat the Rich.' Posted by: Eric Pobirs on January 21, 2005 10:24 AM
The tenth commandment is there to prevent Ace from coveting Instapundit. If you read the Bible, obviously you don't (sorry, no Cliff's notes), God teaches that he doesn't want you worshipping false idol,s and coveting falls into that category. Posted by: Ron on January 21, 2005 12:34 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade.
The Oscars: A celebration of thanking. Dave Barry nails it! [CBD]
Ami Kozak: Every single Tucker Carlson episode consists of him claiming he didn't say the things he said in the last episode
Also: this is the manipulation Tucker does that i hate the most. It's so cowardly. All he does is smear people (and Jews, generally), and then claim "I have nothing against [the person or group I just smeared.]" He'll even claim "I love [x], actually." Just again and again and again. It's all a lie, of course. A year ago he smeared Jews but added how beautiful he thought Israel was, and then two weeks ago, he said Israel is ugly as dog-shit and nothing beautiful has been built there "since 1948." Just got this email from Dracula: "I love Van Helsing, actually, he's one of my personal heroes, if I'm being honest. I will claw the heart out of his belly and bathe in his blood before the children of Babylon, but I have nothing but respect for Van Helsing, actually. Love is the answer. Except for the followers of the Christ whom I am commanded to turn into my dark army of Satan. And I totally don't worship Satan, I just think we should listen to both sides. Hugs and kisses, may Van Helsing burn in the blood-red fires of hell throughout eternity, even though I consider him a close and dear friend, Vlad called Dracul."
New CPAC Treasured Guest Speaker drops
He was hard to book, given all of his current commitments, but CPAC landed the man of the hour!
Ana Navarro, on Abby Phillip's show: the terrorists attempted an attack on the Muslim Zohran Mamdani
The usually-reliable Batya-Ungar Sargon is claiming this was an innocent mistake by Abby Phillip but Phillip did not correct Navarro when she lied about the target of the attack. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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