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January 17, 2005
Paul Anka AlertEd and Jen write to let me know that Mr. Paul Anka, the only important one on network TV, is on Las Vegas tonight, whatever that is (it's on one of the networks). It already began in the East Coast, but you might still be able to catch some integrity if you start recording now. posted by Ace at 09:25 PM
Commentsi dont no how to break it too you guys but ive got some bad news. I found out today that Mr. Paul Anka is in fact...a Canadian! Sure he says he slices like a fuckin hammer, but its actually one of those fucked up Canadian metric hammers. He probably speaks french too. Posted by: amish on January 17, 2005 09:54 PM
In other bizarre Paul Anka-sighting/hearing news, I was listening to an old Stevie Wonder album today (Fufillingness' First Finale, 1975) and I was on one particularly fine tracks called "Heaven Is 10 Zillion Light Years Away," featuring some wonderful male backing vocals. I looked in the liner notes to see who was providing them (usually it's Wonder himself), and was GOBSMACKED to discover that it none other than...yup, Mr. Paul Anka. Who, the day he recorded them, was no doubt the only important one in that studio. Posted by: Jeff B. on January 17, 2005 10:21 PM
i dont no how to break it too you guys but ive got some more bad news. Stevie wonder wasnt actually blind. In fact he had perfect 20/20 vision.Wonder actually used his faux handicap to further his career and allow him to shamelessly ogle womens breasts. However Little Stevie has been blind since 1981 when be gouged his own eyes out in penance for his 'Ebony and Ivory' duet with paul Mccartney. Posted by: atomic_amish on January 17, 2005 10:58 PM
You can always see a young Paul Anka act with integrity and conscious in The Longest Day. I don't think he tries to land a plane, though... Posted by: See Dubya on January 18, 2005 12:19 AM
Vegas is one of the wife's favorite shows (and with naked-but-for-body-paint actresses with close ups of sweet painted breastessess like last night, it's rapidly becoming one of mine). But Anka was abysmal. He made up some shit-hole song about the chef's burger (no shit) and looked like he was anything but the most important guy on the stage. My wife couldn't understand my enthusiasm for him, even after I told her about him slicing like a fucking hammer. She just didn't get it. After his lame acting/singing stint, I didn't really get it either. Posted by: hobgoblin on January 18, 2005 12:25 PM
He was probably preoccupied with this short labor guy who fucked over his crew and cost him 20 or 30 grand the other night. Posted by: Alex_fs on January 18, 2005 01:22 PM
Jeff B., But did it have, Y'know... Cowbell? Posted by: Brian B on January 18, 2005 01:42 PM
Where is Joe. Does he have the shirts! Posted by: csva on January 18, 2005 02:51 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
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