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January 17, 2005
Paul Anka AlertEd and Jen write to let me know that Mr. Paul Anka, the only important one on network TV, is on Las Vegas tonight, whatever that is (it's on one of the networks). It already began in the East Coast, but you might still be able to catch some integrity if you start recording now. posted by Ace at 09:25 PM
Commentsi dont no how to break it too you guys but ive got some bad news. I found out today that Mr. Paul Anka is in fact...a Canadian! Sure he says he slices like a fuckin hammer, but its actually one of those fucked up Canadian metric hammers. He probably speaks french too. Posted by: amish on January 17, 2005 09:54 PM
In other bizarre Paul Anka-sighting/hearing news, I was listening to an old Stevie Wonder album today (Fufillingness' First Finale, 1975) and I was on one particularly fine tracks called "Heaven Is 10 Zillion Light Years Away," featuring some wonderful male backing vocals. I looked in the liner notes to see who was providing them (usually it's Wonder himself), and was GOBSMACKED to discover that it none other than...yup, Mr. Paul Anka. Who, the day he recorded them, was no doubt the only important one in that studio. Posted by: Jeff B. on January 17, 2005 10:21 PM
i dont no how to break it too you guys but ive got some more bad news. Stevie wonder wasnt actually blind. In fact he had perfect 20/20 vision.Wonder actually used his faux handicap to further his career and allow him to shamelessly ogle womens breasts. However Little Stevie has been blind since 1981 when be gouged his own eyes out in penance for his 'Ebony and Ivory' duet with paul Mccartney. Posted by: atomic_amish on January 17, 2005 10:58 PM
You can always see a young Paul Anka act with integrity and conscious in The Longest Day. I don't think he tries to land a plane, though... Posted by: See Dubya on January 18, 2005 12:19 AM
Vegas is one of the wife's favorite shows (and with naked-but-for-body-paint actresses with close ups of sweet painted breastessess like last night, it's rapidly becoming one of mine). But Anka was abysmal. He made up some shit-hole song about the chef's burger (no shit) and looked like he was anything but the most important guy on the stage. My wife couldn't understand my enthusiasm for him, even after I told her about him slicing like a fucking hammer. She just didn't get it. After his lame acting/singing stint, I didn't really get it either. Posted by: hobgoblin on January 18, 2005 12:25 PM
He was probably preoccupied with this short labor guy who fucked over his crew and cost him 20 or 30 grand the other night. Posted by: Alex_fs on January 18, 2005 01:22 PM
Jeff B., But did it have, Y'know... Cowbell? Posted by: Brian B on January 18, 2005 01:42 PM
Where is Joe. Does he have the shirts! Posted by: csva on January 18, 2005 02:51 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason. Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD]
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
Georgia moves to drop the corrupt Fulton county prosecution of Trump for "election rigging" or whatever bullshit the adulteress Fani Willis claimed
This may be the last we hear of Big Fani and Darrius "Sweetdick" Honeycum, Esq.
Escaped "SlenderMan Stabber" picked up with her "transgender" friend
We're increasingly loose with the word "transgender" aren't we? Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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