Ace, just exactly how surprised would you be if I told you I DO have a set of SCA armor and have been an authorized heavy fighter for over a year?

You want proof? I've got pictures. Sadly.

Later,
bbeck
Former Baroness of the Far West

I knew a couple who got married exchanging Legion Flight Rings.

bbeck,

At this point, I would not be surprised at all.

Well, Andrea, it seems that bbeck has upped the ante. Sure, you learned Elvish as a kid, but what have you done for me *lately*?

I can't beat either of them, but I suddenly find myself strangely aroused.

Yeah, my pants are getting all tight the way they used to when I would look at the picture of the Succubus in the appendices to the Dungeon Master's Guide.

bbeck....wow, dude, you're like.....a chick??!!

...or Aphrodite in Deities & Demigods.

As if that needed to be said.

Aphrodite. You know it. Now THAT was hot role-playing.

Step aside, ladies, for a true Tolkien geek has arrived. Have either of you ever filled high school books with your 'true love's' name, not just transcripted into Tengwar, but broken down to its etymological meaning, and then translated into Quenya, and only THEN written it in red, green, gold and black Tengwar calligraphy? And, more tellingly, did you do this BEFORE there was a website for 'elvish' names? Do you have not just 2 or three editions of the Lord of the Rings, and the Hobbit, but over four of each? The complete Histories of Middle Earth? A copy of both Unfinished Tales and the Silmarillion in your car so that you don't have to carry around one of the other two editions of each that you have on your shelf at home? Are you aware of any controversies regarding Estella Bolger?

I hang out with geeks, and I work with geeks. They are in awe (errr, or something like it, but which is probably less complimentary towards me) of my overwhelming Tolkien geekitude. Heck, I have even contributed to the Wikipedia articles on Tolkien.

And that's pretty durn geeky.

BTW, I would reveal my geekiest moment ever, but it would probably give away too much of what's left of my anonymity (there was at least one witness), and furthermore, it would be far too embarassing.

It's the sort of thing you share over drinks, when everyone's a little sloppy and little too open and not likely to recall all the details with pristine accuracy anyway. It's not the thing one commits lightly to print.

Aphrodite was ok, but Hecate was hotter. And, being evil, you gotta figure she'd be quite a bit kinkier. Plus, the picture resembled an especially hot teacher at school. Sadly, this was before the days when hot female teachers were required to sleep with students, which seems to be the case now.

I was always a redneck who liked nerds. I'd see a pocket protector and get a little smile on my face.

Never could stand geeks, though.

"BTW, I would reveal my geekiest moment ever, but it would probably give away too much of what's left of my anonymity (there was at least one witness), and furthermore, it would be far too embarassing."

Dude, you posted the 'Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!' movie. What tattered shreds of dignified anonymity you may have once had are shattered all repair.

Don't make us dig through the Unearthed Arcana to find something to make you talk.

I DON'T GET IT. IS THIS FUNNY?

Errr....shattered BEYOND all repair.

Me speek Inglish, good.

Craig, it's much easier to tell my gender in person.

People ALWAYS think I'm a guy on the Internet. Go figure.

And Different Eric...no, only three copies each of the Hobbit, LOTR and the Silmarillion here (one hardcover, and one set of paperbacks is practically shredded). I got out of Tolkien for the most part in my late teens when I started reading Zelazny but when I got a job at a jewelry store at 22 I engraved my Precious Ring myself. So I bow to your Tolkein geekiness.

However, I think perhaps I can still contend for Overall Geek. Does anyone else list "Science Fiction Conventions" under "Favorite vacation spots"?

And Ace, come ON, what are the chances of us EVER getting together for a beer? Unless you're planning a visit to the Midwest sometime.

And...Aphrodite? Ack, images of that chick who played her on Xena/Hercules are going through my head...

Later,
bbeck

Do geeks tend to lean right, or is that an unfair generalization?

They lean both ways, slightly more to the left, but lean hard whichever way they lean, because they tend to share the similar personality traits (I'm, yes, guilty of this) and believe themselves to be in possession of Important Facts that the Common Folk are Just Too Ignorant To Comprehend.

I don't do Science Fiction conventions, because I'd have to go as a Klingon, and if I were really in character I'd end up hacking up too many people with a bat'leth. Better to avoid the whole thing.

Geeks can lean either left or right, but they do so with more imagination and panaché than other people.

Just to display an even greater degree of geekitudinousness:

I would say that most conservatives are lawful neutral to neutral good. Libertarians gather in the chaotic good corner of the alignment table, with some straying into neutral good and chaotic neutral. For liberals, however, we would have to use a catagory invented by a friend of mine to best classify Elric of Melinbone: Chaotic Stupid.

BTW I was/am a geek of the 225+ benchpress, "no you can't have my lunch money, but here's your teeth back" variety.

Ace is right, geeks can go both ways, but I have noticed a sharp increase in conservatives geeks. At the last con I was at -- November -- a book publisher was leading a discussion on EcoFascists in Poland while in our suite. I was surprised to hear any talk about politics -- I for one am usually too busy comsuming Beck's Dark and shots of liquer -- because most fen don't talk about it, but I think the recent election was on most people's minds. And later on that night a socialist buddy started asking me about my politics, and two minutes later the room was cleared. We had to end it with a drunken "I love you, man" and let the matter drop.

TMI again, but that's an example of two geeky spectrum ends.

Later,
bbeck

Hmm. Geek credentials?

SF reader since first grade. Wargaming and Tolkien back during the Nixon presidency. D&D, when about 100 people were playing it in the whole world. SCA swordplay. Worked for a game company doing game review playtesting. Game designer (won awards). Character in a computer game (Ultima I). Computer geek before the Apple ][. Mainframe comupter gamer. Computer owner for over 20 years. 2000+ SF & fantasy books.

Geeky enough?

I have two "One Rings." I wore one on a silver chain around my neck for a couple of years. I'm cited in the Encyclopedia of Arda under the balrog entry. I've read the books about 15 times. I was the first kid on my block to get a copy of The Silmarillion and probably the first kid in the entire region to actually read it. I built a shoe-box peep-hole diorama of the gates of Mordor, together with mountains made of painted foil, threatening clouds made from painted cotton that issued from Mt. Doom where there was a red glow from a little red light that looked real--as it was totally disguised--and tiny red lights in the gate towers that shone through window slits. I have 5 versions of the books. And I even have The Atlas of Middle Earth, first edition. Anyone got that? I imagined Gollum sounded exactly like the Cookie Monster, and I still have a velour shirt from the '70's.

But I never learned or translated elvish. Damn. You geeks got me. That is the acid test of geekitude, I suppose.

"...but I have noticed a sharp increase in conservative geeks." -- bbeck

Okay, that's what I'm thinking, and that's why I asked. I know I sound stupid and innerant for saying this, but I never thought conservatives cared for D&D stuff; they were always more concerned with golf handicaps than armor classes. And I never thought I'd see fetishizers of either sharing the same political ideals.

Examples. Den Beste is definitely a Big Time Nerd. The guy over at Bastard Sword: total (though brilliant) ubergeek. And those vicious puppies over at Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler strike me as having had WAY too much Klingon Blood Wine. Even milquetoast bloggers like Glenn Reynolds (he's the Marv Levy of bloggers) frequently come across as the smug nerd who came to math class with ten sharpened pencils. (Then again he's not really a conservative, so forget I mentioned him. But I could go on... oh I could go on...)

Pardon my amazement. I had no idea all those dodecahedron chuckers I elbowed past in high school were budding brassknuckle conservatives. I'm willing to accept that a good percentage, maybe the greater percentage, are liberal; but they're either hiding under the covers, or they're half as articulate as their conservative counterparts, and hence half as visible.

There are plenty of good liberal bloggers, just none to my knowledge know a bastard sword from an asshole sword.

Am I wrong about this?

Ok...time to lay out my geek bonafides...
I had a copy of Chainmail. That's pre-D&D. I learned more about different types of government in 5th grade by reading the glossary to the DMs manual then I did in high school. Heck...I was into minatures, painted them and everything. That's on the D&D front.

I threw a first episode party when StarTrek TNG started, instead of going to a school dance.

I, in my high school heyday, was able to quote the Punisher mini-series verbatim as well as Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. I also still have all my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comics and we're not talking the horrid Archie comics cartoon version, we're talking Eastman & Laird in Gold Age Format that wouldn't fit in the freaking box with the rest of my comics. Most of my friends had posters of hot chicks on their walls (Heather Locklear, if I'm not mistaken) I had a poster of the entire Marvel Universe as well as a promotional poster for the Adam West/Burt Ward Batman movie.

And the kicker...
I wrote love letters to Wonderwoman in 3rd grade.

Beat that.

Sure, D&D was all well and good, but every once in a while you had to haul out Tunnels and Trolls or your little black Traveller books just to give your DM a chance to restock his dungeons. After all, what's a dungeon crawl without a Rod of Lordly Might at the other end?

Sold my SCA chainmail and Great Helm but I did enjoy fighting Florentine style (two short swords) for a mercenary company based out of Memphis. I have also been part of an ensamble cast that won the skit part of the costume contest at Mid South-Con two years running. Our 'Star Trek the Liberal Generation' and 'Star Trek the Python Generation' had them in tears from the laughing and the guffawing, ferlaven!

Inquiring, geeks are generally intelligent and so they tend to be less religious and less emotional, and the latter would make you think they'd be more conservative since conservatism doesn't deal in emotion the way liberalism has to. But the Lefty Geeks I know aren't just liberals, they're go so far as to be socialists and communists; they buy into an unrealistic ideal of what humanity could be, possibly because they believe intellect can overwhelm and obliterate human nature.

Now, if you're talking liberals, pfft, they would not engage in something that appeared uncool, so they wouldn't ever get into DnD. Liberals are far more obsessed with image than doing something they actually might enjoy...which pretty much explains why liberals want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.

Now as for the contest here, let me officially put in my bid for All Around Geek...

Hmm, I started typing out my credentials and I felt like I was BRAGGING. So let me just put up a personal experience that none of you men can likely match, much less beat...

I once made out with Larry Niven. This was when I was single. And if you don't know who Larry Niven is, then I just don't think you're geeky enough.

Later,
bbeck

Bbeck, where was Fuzzy Pink at the time? Or are you older than you seem?

I'm not doing this one for a title, but to establish bona fides...

3rd generation SF reader, wrote (and got paid for) sf/fantasy short stories, played in a prog rock band, still own a first ed. Deities and Demigods (w/ the Lovecraft, Leiber, and Moorcock sections), and went from being a math/physics/comp sci major to an English professor with a specialty in medieval lit (which means I get to geek for a living.)

But what I really want to know is...

Bbeck, would it have been more or less geeky to make out with Gardner Dozois?

Thanks.

JohnL, Fuzzy Pink wasn't there (I heard about her later when he told the story about wearing one of her name tags as a 'shield'). And I've been married for 20 years so this was before that.

And Warren, lol, Gardner is ALL yours, but I do like him because he's a fellow scuba diver.

Later,
bbeck

At some point, someone is going to show up who dressed up like Elrond while holding a vigil at Tolkien's grave after an all month gaming sesion with Gary Gygax, and then went on to make out with Anne McCaffrey.

And then won't the rest of us feel stupid.

Though, let's face it -- the whole 'scoring with a member of the opposite sex' thing is kind of anti-geekish. I say this in the knowledge that this weakens my own geek creds, since I have done so.

Once.

But, admittedly, not with Larry Niven.

Eric, LOL! Um, FYI, Anne McCaffrey is a lesbian, so I think I stand a better chance with her than youse guys.

Getting back on topic: you may have a point there, but I must say that if my Scoring XPs are going to count against me, then I'm OUT of the running, as are probably all the other women who I'm guessing are married.

I think we need a referee's call on this. Ace, do intimate encounters with another human take points away from geekiness? See, I think you can get lucky and still be geeky, it's just a lot harder to find a willing partner.

Later,
bbeck

I will not subject you to Elvish. But did you know that you can find most of the names used in LOTR in the Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem?

Yes, like others, I memorized all, but all, of the poetry. God save us, I can still do the one about the troll from memory. Don't make me prove it.

In sheer geek terms, I think actually tracking down every Celtic and Danish and Norse and Anglo-Saxon reference in the Silmarillion may be the very nadir. Did you know that the god Odin had ancestors, one of whom was found in a reed basket?

If this does not prove my scary geek credentials, nothing will. And I would only reveal this to you, Ace.

I think we need a referee's call on this. Ace, do intimate encounters with another human take points away from geekiness?

Of course they do!

Uh-oh, Ace, I may have to disqualify myself, then. Gee, thanks, Hubby.

Oh well, I was in danger of being deposed if someone mentioned Mensa or LARPing anyway.

*sniffle*

Later,
bbeck

"I once made out with Larry Niven."

Er -- well, if this is the criteria by which Über-Geekitude is judged then bbeck wins hands down. I'm afraid I confined my geeky bahavior to virginal fantasies and wearing a 100% cloak of forest green wool that a friend of my mother's made for me. I'd wear it to my high school. In South Florida. Only in the "winter" that we have for about two weeks down there, though.

I wasn't a webgeek, though. In 1975 there was no internet as such. All the really hardcore geeks (who beat my geekiness into the dust, I'm talking intense World War II board games in German class -- oh, did I mention I took five years of German starting in 8th grade, in a city where the major foreign language spoken was Spanish? The next year I started French -- studied that for four years. Then when I got to high school to my joy they started offering Italian when I was in 11th grade. Just last year I read in The Letters of JRR Tolkien that Venice reminded him of "Old Osgiliath." Which means "Dome of Stars."

Uh -- where was I? Oh yes -- geek. Well: I still have the cloak. The lining needs repair. As for "making out" with anyone in the scifi/fantasy community... At the one and only science fiction convention I went to I got to meet George Takei, which was cool -- I had always had the hots for Sulu. But on the whole, I never wanted to have anything to do with the actual humans behind my fantasy and scifi loves. I was jaded at an early age, I guess -- I had found human beings so disappointing in real life, and "glamorous" ones most of all.

Er, that should be "cloak of forest green 100% wool." Not that I've been drinking or anything.

Ok...who here has read George Takai's fiction? He wrote a book called Mirror Friend/Mirror Foe. Certainly much better then that trash Shatner put out.

Guess what, bbeck?

MENSA!

And as a special 'intimate encounter' BONUS:
Teri Hatcher has gotten laid more recently than I.

I'm warning you all, this much geekitude has got to be contagious.

I watched Star Trek before every piano lesson.

I went to see Bakshi's Lord of the Rings opening night. I saw 2001: A Space Odessy at the same theater years before. (I had a very geek-friendly mom.) Mom also made me a Kirk uniform.

And I got the nacelles on my Enterprise NCC-1701 to line up. Hah!

Snicker-snack.

I once made out with Larry Niven.

I had a long running affair with Galadriel.

Whoa, Andrea, I never wore a cloak to school. I leave my SCA garb purely for SCA events...except for one time when my group partied in Downtown Guam on Halloween, and considering how much we had to drink it seemed like a good idea at the time.

And Different Eric has shot me down (although ultimately the call belongs to Ace). IMO Mensa out-geeks the SCA. What do I have that could possibly reinstate me?

Hmm, how about State Fencing Champion in OK (first in foil, second in epee)? I was also captain of the OU Fencing Team (holy cow, did my football team take a beating last night).

Will that do it? How about my autographed Evil Dead movies signed by Bruce Campbell? Or the fact that my hubby got me the "Planet of the Apes" 5 movie boxed set for our 18th wedding anniversary -- because I WANTED it?

Is that enough to get me back on top?

Later,
bbeck

PS...

Kin, I haven't read any Star Trek fiction except the stuff by James Blish. Oops, I think that would count against me.

And rd, does Galadriel know?

Later,
bbeck

And rd, does Galadriel know?

Of course not.

I was also captain of the OU Fencing Team

Did you go to Medieval Fair in 1987?

Rd, do you mean the one they used to hold at the Duck Pond? No, I moved from Norman in late '86, and I wasn't in the SCA during the time I was sport fencing. I've only been SCA for about 3 years now.

Why do you ask?

Later,
bbeck

I was there. My coat of arms was argent, six hearts gules, three and three. You know the Port at the Trails apartment complex off Berry and Highway 9?

Bbeck.

Did you ever go to Medieval Fair?

Rd, Berry doesn't run into Highway 9, does it? Maybe they've extended it since I've lived there. I know the area you're talking about and there's more than one apartment complex. Is it on the north side of Highway 9 or between it and the Canadian River?

I lived in Norman for over 15 years (on Vine St) but I only went to the Fair when I was in college (studying Aerospace Engineering -- geek!) once or twice from '80-83. I never fenced there and, like I said above, I wasn't in the SCA back then. I thought it was a wonderful fair and I'd heard that they don't have it anymore. Is that true? Do you know?

Nice CoA. :) Mine isn't registered, but it's Per Pale argent and or, a lion rampant sable, holding a grenade enflamed gules, a border quarterly sable and gules. Here, let me geek you ALL out...

http://www.combatchris.com/wardemo/images/Image082.jpg

My shield is missing the border -- I had to add it later because my CoA was too close too another registered one -- but that's what it looks like. And yah, those are palm trees in the background; the pic was taken in Guam.

Do you still play?

Later,
bbeck

PS: Boy, we're really geekin' it up here...

South Berry, I guess. Between the Highway and the river by the golf course.

Medieval Fair still going strong. Over 300,000 last year. Looks like it outgrew the Duck Pond. Too bad. That was the perfect location, green and hilly with that elongated pond/river. It even had a stone bridge--where a costumed beggar camped out every year asking for alms.

Do you still play?

With Galadriel? Yeah, occasionally.

You know, that's such a perfect time to have the fair in Norman. It can be a bit nippy still. All the green growing things have just sprouted, so they're almost lime in color. The redbuds are drooping with pink-purplish-fucsia flowers. It's almost surreal. You can see a little of that in the background of some of the pictures.

Do you still play?

With Galadriel? Yeah, occasionally.

Hey, I have that Barbi, too.

:P

Man, my comments disappeared out of this. This sucks.

Multiple sword-owning, Tolkien-reading, college-fencing, SCA, D&D/Battletech/WH40K wargames and military history freak who now does the room and tunnel clearing in the ultimate LARP.....