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January 01, 2005
Best of Ace, #6: She Done Found Us Out, Cletus!A very concerned liberal named Kathleen Anderton wrote to her local paper warning us all of the Republican plot to deliberately kill young, strong men in unending warfare so that we pencil-necked geeks could then take over the world (and all the tastiest women, I must assume) in some sort of worldwide Strangelovian sex-conspiracy. Of course, she was absolutely right in every detail; my problem has always been that she just bitches about our plan for culling the young male population by 25% or more, without offering any constructive criticism as to how we're going to achieve our goals without deliberately murdering young men in senseless wars: Let's be sensible here. We all know that if the conservative dream of an omnipotent Father-State is to be realized, we need to break up the natural loyalties of human beings, that is, to their families and sexual partners, so that there is no other object of loyalty but the perpetual WarState. Notable for a couple of things, too. First, a commenter named Paul provided the best joke in the whole piece, which I of course had to move up into the post itself. Only blogs (with comments) can really provide that sort of instantaneous interactivity. "Real media" would have taken a week to get that comment printed as a letter to the editor, and by then the joke would have been long forgotten. Also-- check the comments. Ms. Anderton, calling herself "The Author," takes me (and the commenters) to task. But she does thank me for helping to get the word out. Well, no thanks needed, Ms. Anderton. posted by Ace at 05:47 PM
CommentsThis one's my favorite. --See Dubya Posted by: see-dubya on January 1, 2005 08:16 PM
If only her hero John Kerry would come forward with his plan to fight a smarter war countless lives would have already been saved. Since he hasn't we must assume he's either holding out because he's mad he didn't get elected, meaning that he doesn't care how many more die needlessly, or he never had a plan to begin with. He also promised to have a health care plan presented to congress by inauguration day that would cover every child in America. Since he isn't busy preparing for inauguration he should have already written the bill and presented it to congress. He hasn't. She has to admit that he's a willing participant in the plan to cull young males or lying scum that didn't mean a word of the lies he told to get elected. Since liberals in general aren't pressuring Kerry to unveil these monumental plans it must mean they either knew it was a bunch of lies from the start or they are willing to let these things pass unfettered as long as there's a republican in the White House, a true showing of liberal compassion either way. Posted by: bullwinkle on January 1, 2005 08:36 PM
Major newspapers and newsmagazine seem to insist on always giving a voice to the complete lunatics on their “Letters to the Editor” sections. “Here’s an e-mail from an elementary school teacher in Atlanta who wants more funding for public libraries… a letter from a Humane Society member in Cheyenne who think that racing greyhounds should be treated better… and an e-mail from a Critical Theory professor in Berkeley who thinks we should abolish the family, marriage, private property, and the military and establish in its place a Communist utopia… hey, let’s print this one!” Posted by: Kazmin on January 1, 2005 09:33 PM
See Dubya, My favorite post, too. If this year has taught us anything it is that any time you lose a vote you have the right--no, the constitutional duty-- to demand a recount. There were clearly irregularities. I will be contacting Jesse Jackson and teams of lawyers in an attempt to prevent the certification of the #1 post. I've heard stories of intimidation, long posting times, and I can personally attest to having difficulties accessing his site several times. "Head over to the old site at blogspot" I would be instructed at times. The voting was confusing, I went to the wrong website and they wouldn't let me vote for Ace's best posting there, locusts, LOCUSTS.... Posted by: Max Power on January 2, 2005 05:21 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]
Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]
Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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