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December 29, 2004

What I Wouldn't Do For a Drudge Link

Fat Kid sends me this unbelievable site-meter display, from a blog called, it seems, Cheese & Crackers.

Drudge linked the blog.

The results were, erm, rather noticeable.

Bang! A 400,000+ hit day will really have an impact on your weekly average, I'm thinking.

For goodness sakes. I've been chasing Instapundit! Drudge is where the action is!

Now, if only I had access to some information he'd be interested in. Some headline like:

FREAK! Kitten Born With Inordinate Number of Nipples

HELLSTORM 2005: Hurricane Omega Threatens to Cause Boston and Galveston to Swap Places

MOUSEKEFEARS-- Someone You Never Heard of At Disney Is Planning Corporate Changes Which Will Not Effect You At All, Even If You Own Disney Stock

I've got to get cracking. I'm sure I've got some big Drudge-worthy story in me.

DEVELOPING HARD...

Welcome, New Visitors! I realize a lot of you are coming here off the Drudge/Cheese & Crackers link about the tsunami catastrophe, and you may not be in the mood for humor.

But it's actually this site's one-year blogoversary, and I'll be posting the best comedy (and serious) pieces of the year all day. So, if you're in the mood for laughs (and some of these pieces are really funny), make sure you return during the day, and hit the "Main" button at the top of the page for new material.

posted by Ace at 08:09 PM

Comments

I like Jordon (cheese & crackers). Glad he got his 15 minutes of fame.

Posted by: julie on December 29, 2004 08:15 PM

I've heard of his site but never read it.

I'd congratulate him were I not so consumed with hateful jealousy.

Posted by: ace on December 29, 2004 08:17 PM

and the quote of the year you ask?

Apple is unhappy about how much bandwidth I am using.

Apparently this kid has used over 15 TERABYTES of bandwidth in just over 24 hours.

As the blogfather would say: Heh.

Posted by: fat kid on December 29, 2004 08:19 PM

Oh, and by the way

HELLSTORM 2005: Hurricane Omega Threatens to Cause Boston and Gavelston to Swap Places

had me laughing my ass off when a customer of ours (worth $100MM+) called in. Oops.

Posted by: fat kid on December 29, 2004 08:21 PM

Ace, you gotta make that hateful jealousy work for you.

Posted by: Carin on December 29, 2004 08:24 PM

Whoa, that guy jumped to #14 on TTLB

14) Cheese and Crackers 20444 visits/day (6344)

Daaaaaaamn.

Posted by: fat kid on December 29, 2004 08:32 PM

Jordon is a friend of mine. It was pretty crazy when we were emailing back and forth about the videos (he said he could host with the apple account). First LGF linked to him (after I sent Charles a tip), then Powerline, then Drudge.. I commend Jordan for his great work...15 terabytes is OFF.THE.HOOK!

Posted by: Wes on December 29, 2004 08:54 PM

Wow. As if anyone needed MORE proof at just how powerful Matt Drudge is in the blogosphere.

Tell me that a link at Slate or the NYT site gets that many clicks in a day.

Screw Glenn Reynolds; I too must get a Drudge link. Now, where did I place that story about The Donnas calling American soldiers jack-booted fascist thugs. . .

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 29, 2004 09:03 PM

Oh, and Ace?

Please tell me you've seen Team America by now.

Because I'm pretty sure there's *one* thing you wouldn't be willing to do for a Drudge link.

As for me? Eh. I dunno. Not just anyone can draft me for the other team.

But, say, Brad Pitt, or George Clooney, or Under Secretary of State for Arms Control and International Security John Bolton. . . maybe.

I mean, c'mon, it's 400,000 hits man. . .

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 29, 2004 09:08 PM

Hey, it's not all cheese and cracker for Jordan. There was some sort of switcharoo when he was born. He was taken home by a loving, yet barking, family of moonbats and forced to live and attend school in Massachusetts.

Posted by: julie on December 29, 2004 09:59 PM

Ace, I know you probably can't tell when I'm kiding or busting your balls or not any longer, but I had a Drudge link once. You'd think it'd be awesome, but only if you have an awesome host, as mine pulled the site down after less than 10,000 hits, due to the massive number of simultaneous requests melting their servers. It lasted only a few minutes.

Just sayin.'

The Daily Recycler got serveral, however, and was able to handle the load pretty well, serving video. So I nhave no idea how it works. By the way, the easiest way (but not only way) to get a Drudge-lanche? Host some video that nobody else has and send in a tip.

Posted by: Bill from INDC on December 29, 2004 10:07 PM

Start posting pics of severed heads. He'll be on it like white on rice.

Posted by: Donnah on December 29, 2004 10:13 PM

That's awesome.

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:09 PM

Bill at INDC:

You have it exactly right.

And believe me, the Drudgalanche is not all it's cracked up to be.

I've been stressed all day because Apple finally pulled all the movies and it seems there isn't a hosting company in the world that can handle the traffic.

I finally decided to pawn it off on a million mirrors.

Hopefully some of these folks will stick around...

I think the sitemeter numbers are a bit low too... I don't know if they could keep up

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:15 PM

Ace, don't believe them. It's better than sex. They just don't want to share. It's like an exclusive club only they can belong to. Under no circumstances give them any of your Drudge ideas.

Posted by: julie on December 29, 2004 11:38 PM

And you thought 20,444 was high for an average, that was just with 180k hits from yesterday.

I got 525k hits today. If I stay linked on drudge... damn

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:40 PM

Julie-

I thought the hurricane one was awesome

You forgot WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!!! MUST CREDIT DRUDGE!!!!!!!!!!! NEW STUDY SHOWS REAL BOOBIES BETTER THAN FAKE... DEVELOPING...

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:43 PM

Ace is indisposed at the moment.

He will be with you to commiserate about the problems associated with excessive Drudge linkage shortly.
Please stand by.

Posted by: lauraw on December 29, 2004 11:51 PM

Average visits per day: 96,543

Oooooh baby

That makes me NUMBAH 3

Blogging for 3 weeks helps this out some

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 30, 2004 12:02 AM

jordan, your vids are AWESOME.. really amazing. anyway, I wrote to apple for you and told them what bastrds they are, even if they aren't, and I 'm sure it did loads of good! ha

Posted by: Bernard on December 30, 2004 12:25 AM

LMFAO

Blogging for 3 weeks helps this out some

Oooooooooooooh, what a muthaf*cka - lololololol

That's gonna leave a mark - especially on Ace's 1 year anniversary, and after getting voted best of the top 100 blogs - you get half his annual traffic in 1 day. LMFAO. Jeezus

Posted by: fat kid on December 30, 2004 02:28 AM

I have an exclusive video i gave jordan on my site
http://believeinmagic91.blogspot.com/

Posted by: Austin on December 30, 2004 04:12 AM

Damn Jordan. I know I don't want a Drudge link. My current hosting plan allows 5.5 GB of transfers a month. 15 Terabytes? That's not even on their scale. I work in the data storage/management business and 15 terabytes is a lot of effing data!

Jordan, time to take out some blogads, quick!

Posted by: SteveL on December 30, 2004 09:41 AM

Suggestions:

"Woman inhabits giant pile of live cats"

"Half of America, BELOW AVERAGE???"

"Drudgereport.com beats macrame.net and ukelele.org"

Posted by: right on December 30, 2004 09:48 AM

Careful, Jordan. Steve Jobs could show up with a goon squad at any moment. Especially since Bernard had to go shoot of f his mouth like that.

Posted by: Smack on December 30, 2004 09:54 AM

Yeah, but how much do you really have to worry about a Steve Jobs goon squad?

What are they going to do, stomp around and make the place asthetically-pleasing?

"That's a pretty desk you have there, kid. Be a shame if it suddenly had rounded corners and a slight dip in the top where you could rest your forearms while you type"

Posted by: Jimmie on December 30, 2004 12:08 PM

Smack and Jimmie-

I already got an email from The Steve...

Jimmie, that's freakin' hilarious...

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 30, 2004 02:11 PM

Well done Ace.

Posted by: R. Frank on December 30, 2004 09:58 PM

Hahaha, 15 terabytes in 24 hours.

My servers monthly allowance is 1.2 terabytes.

Bit Torrent seems like the way to go!

Posted by: Sean on December 30, 2004 10:44 PM

This blogging thing is awesome,

Signed:
New blogger guy

Posted by: DB on December 31, 2004 01:30 AM

What Exactly Is Blog???

Posted by: Gator on December 31, 2004 10:08 AM

Just have to say Wow!...I'm a big drudge fan so I've been to jordon site alot...great job...thats what the internet is all about....heh heh how did you get the video's?

Posted by: mike on January 1, 2005 10:03 AM

gloomymartyeredscouring

Posted by: his on June 17, 2005 10:41 PM

http://www.appsi.org/onlineuniversitycanada/ bagsdignityxeroxed

Posted by: prey on August 10, 2005 12:03 PM

http://creditcard.acholipeace.org/cgi/ currentmontgomerypause

Posted by: practicing on September 2, 2005 03:04 AM

http://oral.presselibre.org/5085054/ hesitantsummonedyoure

Posted by: ministrations on September 24, 2005 04:22 PM

http://www.periodismocivicocba.org/wwwboard/messages/5701.html faintlyheavilysignaled

Posted by: caught on September 25, 2005 06:41 PM

http://tlclegal.net/wwwboard/messages/7371.html complimentwhosewondered

Posted by: fourth on October 2, 2005 09:08 AM

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Top Headlines

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

TJM talks about Billy Wilder

Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.