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December 29, 2004

What I Wouldn't Do For a Drudge Link

Fat Kid sends me this unbelievable site-meter display, from a blog called, it seems, Cheese & Crackers.

Drudge linked the blog.

The results were, erm, rather noticeable.

Bang! A 400,000+ hit day will really have an impact on your weekly average, I'm thinking.

For goodness sakes. I've been chasing Instapundit! Drudge is where the action is!

Now, if only I had access to some information he'd be interested in. Some headline like:

FREAK! Kitten Born With Inordinate Number of Nipples

HELLSTORM 2005: Hurricane Omega Threatens to Cause Boston and Galveston to Swap Places

MOUSEKEFEARS-- Someone You Never Heard of At Disney Is Planning Corporate Changes Which Will Not Effect You At All, Even If You Own Disney Stock

I've got to get cracking. I'm sure I've got some big Drudge-worthy story in me.

DEVELOPING HARD...

Welcome, New Visitors! I realize a lot of you are coming here off the Drudge/Cheese & Crackers link about the tsunami catastrophe, and you may not be in the mood for humor.

But it's actually this site's one-year blogoversary, and I'll be posting the best comedy (and serious) pieces of the year all day. So, if you're in the mood for laughs (and some of these pieces are really funny), make sure you return during the day, and hit the "Main" button at the top of the page for new material.

posted by Ace at 08:09 PM

Comments

I like Jordon (cheese & crackers). Glad he got his 15 minutes of fame.

Posted by: julie on December 29, 2004 08:15 PM

I've heard of his site but never read it.

I'd congratulate him were I not so consumed with hateful jealousy.

Posted by: ace on December 29, 2004 08:17 PM

and the quote of the year you ask?

Apple is unhappy about how much bandwidth I am using.

Apparently this kid has used over 15 TERABYTES of bandwidth in just over 24 hours.

As the blogfather would say: Heh.

Posted by: fat kid on December 29, 2004 08:19 PM

Oh, and by the way

HELLSTORM 2005: Hurricane Omega Threatens to Cause Boston and Gavelston to Swap Places

had me laughing my ass off when a customer of ours (worth $100MM+) called in. Oops.

Posted by: fat kid on December 29, 2004 08:21 PM

Ace, you gotta make that hateful jealousy work for you.

Posted by: Carin on December 29, 2004 08:24 PM

Whoa, that guy jumped to #14 on TTLB

14) Cheese and Crackers 20444 visits/day (6344)

Daaaaaaamn.

Posted by: fat kid on December 29, 2004 08:32 PM

Jordon is a friend of mine. It was pretty crazy when we were emailing back and forth about the videos (he said he could host with the apple account). First LGF linked to him (after I sent Charles a tip), then Powerline, then Drudge.. I commend Jordan for his great work...15 terabytes is OFF.THE.HOOK!

Posted by: Wes on December 29, 2004 08:54 PM

Wow. As if anyone needed MORE proof at just how powerful Matt Drudge is in the blogosphere.

Tell me that a link at Slate or the NYT site gets that many clicks in a day.

Screw Glenn Reynolds; I too must get a Drudge link. Now, where did I place that story about The Donnas calling American soldiers jack-booted fascist thugs. . .

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 29, 2004 09:03 PM

Oh, and Ace?

Please tell me you've seen Team America by now.

Because I'm pretty sure there's *one* thing you wouldn't be willing to do for a Drudge link.

As for me? Eh. I dunno. Not just anyone can draft me for the other team.

But, say, Brad Pitt, or George Clooney, or Under Secretary of State for Arms Control and International Security John Bolton. . . maybe.

I mean, c'mon, it's 400,000 hits man. . .

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 29, 2004 09:08 PM

Hey, it's not all cheese and cracker for Jordan. There was some sort of switcharoo when he was born. He was taken home by a loving, yet barking, family of moonbats and forced to live and attend school in Massachusetts.

Posted by: julie on December 29, 2004 09:59 PM

Ace, I know you probably can't tell when I'm kiding or busting your balls or not any longer, but I had a Drudge link once. You'd think it'd be awesome, but only if you have an awesome host, as mine pulled the site down after less than 10,000 hits, due to the massive number of simultaneous requests melting their servers. It lasted only a few minutes.

Just sayin.'

The Daily Recycler got serveral, however, and was able to handle the load pretty well, serving video. So I nhave no idea how it works. By the way, the easiest way (but not only way) to get a Drudge-lanche? Host some video that nobody else has and send in a tip.

Posted by: Bill from INDC on December 29, 2004 10:07 PM

Start posting pics of severed heads. He'll be on it like white on rice.

Posted by: Donnah on December 29, 2004 10:13 PM

That's awesome.

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:09 PM

Bill at INDC:

You have it exactly right.

And believe me, the Drudgalanche is not all it's cracked up to be.

I've been stressed all day because Apple finally pulled all the movies and it seems there isn't a hosting company in the world that can handle the traffic.

I finally decided to pawn it off on a million mirrors.

Hopefully some of these folks will stick around...

I think the sitemeter numbers are a bit low too... I don't know if they could keep up

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:15 PM

Ace, don't believe them. It's better than sex. They just don't want to share. It's like an exclusive club only they can belong to. Under no circumstances give them any of your Drudge ideas.

Posted by: julie on December 29, 2004 11:38 PM

And you thought 20,444 was high for an average, that was just with 180k hits from yesterday.

I got 525k hits today. If I stay linked on drudge... damn

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:40 PM

Julie-

I thought the hurricane one was awesome

You forgot WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!!! MUST CREDIT DRUDGE!!!!!!!!!!! NEW STUDY SHOWS REAL BOOBIES BETTER THAN FAKE... DEVELOPING...

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 29, 2004 11:43 PM

Ace is indisposed at the moment.

He will be with you to commiserate about the problems associated with excessive Drudge linkage shortly.
Please stand by.

Posted by: lauraw on December 29, 2004 11:51 PM

Average visits per day: 96,543

Oooooh baby

That makes me NUMBAH 3

Blogging for 3 weeks helps this out some

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 30, 2004 12:02 AM

jordan, your vids are AWESOME.. really amazing. anyway, I wrote to apple for you and told them what bastrds they are, even if they aren't, and I 'm sure it did loads of good! ha

Posted by: Bernard on December 30, 2004 12:25 AM

LMFAO

Blogging for 3 weeks helps this out some

Oooooooooooooh, what a muthaf*cka - lololololol

That's gonna leave a mark - especially on Ace's 1 year anniversary, and after getting voted best of the top 100 blogs - you get half his annual traffic in 1 day. LMFAO. Jeezus

Posted by: fat kid on December 30, 2004 02:28 AM

I have an exclusive video i gave jordan on my site
http://believeinmagic91.blogspot.com/

Posted by: Austin on December 30, 2004 04:12 AM

Damn Jordan. I know I don't want a Drudge link. My current hosting plan allows 5.5 GB of transfers a month. 15 Terabytes? That's not even on their scale. I work in the data storage/management business and 15 terabytes is a lot of effing data!

Jordan, time to take out some blogads, quick!

Posted by: SteveL on December 30, 2004 09:41 AM

Suggestions:

"Woman inhabits giant pile of live cats"

"Half of America, BELOW AVERAGE???"

"Drudgereport.com beats macrame.net and ukelele.org"

Posted by: right on December 30, 2004 09:48 AM

Careful, Jordan. Steve Jobs could show up with a goon squad at any moment. Especially since Bernard had to go shoot of f his mouth like that.

Posted by: Smack on December 30, 2004 09:54 AM

Yeah, but how much do you really have to worry about a Steve Jobs goon squad?

What are they going to do, stomp around and make the place asthetically-pleasing?

"That's a pretty desk you have there, kid. Be a shame if it suddenly had rounded corners and a slight dip in the top where you could rest your forearms while you type"

Posted by: Jimmie on December 30, 2004 12:08 PM

Smack and Jimmie-

I already got an email from The Steve...

Jimmie, that's freakin' hilarious...

Posted by: Jordan Golson on December 30, 2004 02:11 PM

Well done Ace.

Posted by: R. Frank on December 30, 2004 09:58 PM

Hahaha, 15 terabytes in 24 hours.

My servers monthly allowance is 1.2 terabytes.

Bit Torrent seems like the way to go!

Posted by: Sean on December 30, 2004 10:44 PM

This blogging thing is awesome,

Signed:
New blogger guy

Posted by: DB on December 31, 2004 01:30 AM

What Exactly Is Blog???

Posted by: Gator on December 31, 2004 10:08 AM

Just have to say Wow!...I'm a big drudge fan so I've been to jordon site alot...great job...thats what the internet is all about....heh heh how did you get the video's?

Posted by: mike on January 1, 2005 10:03 AM

gloomymartyeredscouring

Posted by: his on June 17, 2005 10:41 PM

http://www.appsi.org/onlineuniversitycanada/ bagsdignityxeroxed

Posted by: prey on August 10, 2005 12:03 PM

http://creditcard.acholipeace.org/cgi/ currentmontgomerypause

Posted by: practicing on September 2, 2005 03:04 AM

http://oral.presselibre.org/5085054/ hesitantsummonedyoure

Posted by: ministrations on September 24, 2005 04:22 PM

http://www.periodismocivicocba.org/wwwboard/messages/5701.html faintlyheavilysignaled

Posted by: caught on September 25, 2005 06:41 PM

http://tlclegal.net/wwwboard/messages/7371.html complimentwhosewondered

Posted by: fourth on October 2, 2005 09:08 AM

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

In more marketing for Project Hail Mary, scientists say they've found the biosigns indicating life growing on an alien planet. It's not proof, just signatures of chemicals that are produced by biological metabolism, and it could be nothing, but scientists think it's a strong sign that this planet is inhabited by something.

In a paper published in the Astrophysical Journal Letters, a team of scientists announced the detection of dimethyl sulfide (along with a similar detection of dimethyl disulfide) in the atmosphere of an exoplanet called K2-18b. This is actually the second detection of dimethyl sulfide made on this planet, following a tentative detection in 2023.
Tons of chemicals are detected in the atmospheres of celestial objects every day. But dimethyl sulfide is different, because on Earth, it's only produced by living organisms.
"It is a shock to the system," Nikku Madhusudhan, first author on the paper, told the New York Times. "We spent an enormous amount of time just trying to get rid of the signal."

He means they tried to prove the signal was caused by things other than dimethyl sulfide but they could not.

Artemis moon shot a go, scheduled for 6:24 Eastern time tonight
Great marketing arranged by Amazon to promote Project Hail Mary. Okay not really but it does work out that way.

TJM talks John Boorman, director of Excalibur

Good rickroll

What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*

Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.

A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR.
Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him.
LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.

The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring:
"But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said."
In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring.
I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.

Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]

TJM acts like he knows anything about John Wick and screenwriting. It's embarrassing, really.

Podcast: Sefton and CBD talk about how would a peace treaty with Iran work, Democrats defending murderers and rapists, The GOP vs. Dem bench for 2028, composting bodies? And more!

Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."

Batman fires The Batman
Batman is disgusted by the Joachim Phoenix version of Joker
Batman tries to fire Superman
Batman is still workshopping his Bat-Voice

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please
I'm even on knees
Makin' love to whoever I please
I gotta do it my way
Or no way at all

Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)

Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]

TJM gives you a brief tour of his movie collection.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter
One day I'm gonna get that faculty together
Remember that everybody has to wait in line
Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine

US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.

Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies

“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”

TJM has thoughts on Superheros and Iconography