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« The Scott Peterson Fan Club | Main | Why I Just Don't Get "Fashion" »
December 17, 2004

Hollywood Finally Makes Film About War on Terror; Title Will Be, Shockingly Enough, "No True Glory"

Wooden robotic has-been Harrison Ford has signed on to the project, which will hopefully decimate US troops' morale for years to come.

Top Ten Harrison Ford War Movies, Had He Been Making Movies During World War II

10. A light romantic comedy titled Guess Who's Giving It To Your Wife Back Home?

9. What If They Threw a War To Stop Global Fascism and No One Showed Up?

8. A thoughtful documentary named Japanese Kamikaze Suicide Bombers: Why Do They Hate Us?

7. An untitled project likening FDR to Adolf Hitler, and meanwhile likening Adolf Hitler to beloved child-star Jackie Coogan

6. The Big Lie: Archival Films Prove That No "Planes" or "Bombs" Struck Us At Pearl Harbor

5. Worldwide Nazi Domination: Let's Take a Wait-and-See Attitude About It, Huh?

4. Some stupid film about the fucking Crusades trying to pin thousand-year-old shit on America (always a favorite Hollywood go-to project)

3. Indiana Jones and the Quest for a Negotiated Settlement

2. A lightheared "screwball" comedy called Unstoppable Nazi Supermen Will Inevitably Conquer the World!

...and the Number One Harrison Ford War Film, Had He Been Making Movies During World War II...

1. A science-fiction classic titled Star Wars, which tells the story of how militaristic "Rebels" unilaterally declared pre-emptive war on the peaceful, kite-flying "Galactic Empire" and their "agrarian reformer" leader Emperor Palpatine, who was, after all, considered the "George Washington" of his people and actually quoted from the Declaration of Independence


Caveat: The article claims:

It is probable that the film will strike a different tone to the only major feature about the US's previous war in Iraq, 1999's Three Kings, which told the story of a group of cynical, self-serving US soldiers. West's coverage of the war has tended to side with US troops.

We'll see. "No True Glory" doesn't exactly sound rah-rah to me. And I suspect the leftist British Guardian's judgment as to what consitutes "siding with US troops" diverges quite a bit from my own.

Defending My Attack Update: It occurs to me that this attack may be premature, as at least one poster points out.

I'll say this, though. Hollywood has a template for movies about wars they don't like, and they pretty much don't like any of them. Sure, there's the occasional pro-war film like Heartbreak Ridge, but those tend to be lower-budget, not-terribly-prestigious genre films little removed from action movies in terms of seriousness and respect.

When it comes to "prestige" projects, Hollywood tackles wars the same way, just about every time: It acknowledges the sacrifice and heroism of actual soldiers, while suggesting -- if not outright stating -- that this sacrifice and heroism is all in the cause of a futile or wrongheaded cause. The personal virtues of soldiers are admitted; the cause for which they fight is generally deemed senseless.

Even Saving Private Ryan, about a war few can quibble with (though some do), was said to be, either by director Steven Spielberg or a critic reviewing the film, "at heart an anti-war movie, as all war movies must be."

Certainly it must be acknowledged, in any serious war movie, that war is hell -- hellishly violent, hellishly terrifying, hellishly destructive, and hellishly wasteful of the lives of good young men (and some not so young men, and some women too). And yet it would be satisfying to see more war movies which were not merely the equivalent of Zombie Survival Horror films on a battlefield.

Yes, in the final analysis, soldiers, as they fight, are fighting for survival -- their own, and the survival of the man next to them. Certainly they give little thought to geopolitics as bullets and mortars rain down on them.

But it would be helpful, on occasion, to note that their sacrifices and heroism are not in vain; that they fight for something actually worth fighting for, whether it be for freedom, America's security, or to simply eradicate the psychopathic terrorist scum holed up in Fallujah.

I don't know what tact No True Glory will take. But the title and the general Hollywood template for prestige war movies suggests to me we will see good young men being wasted in a "useless war," sacrificed for nothing except stupidity and hatred and a failure to "communicate effectively" with people about whom we still haven't figured out "Why do they hate us?"

Yes, the soldiers will be praised, even as they are chewed apart in battle; but there will be no tribute to the mission they ultimately give their lives for.

I'd like to be suprised. But at this point I very much doubt I will be.

Geek Patrol Update: Emperor Palpatine, not "Constantine." I knew Constantine wasn't right, but I coudln't think if the right name. All I could think of was "Darth Siddious." Stupid prequels.

Please excuse this horrible gaffe. I swear, I'm a dedicated Star Wars fan and I knew that! I knew that! Just on the tip of the tongue and wouldn't roll off!

I will not be turning in my polyhedral dice anytime soon. As George Bush the Elder said, "You wouldn't want your career judged by a single incident, would you?"


posted by Ace at 03:39 PM
Comments



First!

Posted by: Sobek on December 17, 2004 04:10 PM

How about a scary thriller called What Lies Beneath Iraq's Vast Oilfields.

Posted by: Sobek on December 17, 2004 04:12 PM

I can't believe these other Harrison Ford/WW2 classics didnt make the cut:

1)Indiana Jones is not the Last Crusader!

2)The Fugitive: Why Nurenberg should indict FDR.

3)Presumed Innocent: Hirohito, Tojo and Pearl Harbor

4)Lucky & Me: Pseudo documentary produced by Leni Reifenstahl detailing Ford's attempt to meet with nazi apologists Charles "Lucky Lindy" Lindbergh and Henry Ford.

I mean, let's be honest, Ford wanted to win the People's Choice award for all these films......

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 17, 2004 04:18 PM

Considering how much can change in a film until it gets to a final cut, I think it is far too early to get excited either way. I re-read the article, and it doesn't even mention a director.

Let's see where it goes, and hold off on the excitement for the year, or two or three (or whatever) until it gets to the screen (if at all).

Posted by: NickS on December 17, 2004 04:21 PM

LOL...after typing my previous comment, can't you just hear the voice of Simpson's character "Troy McClure"

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such Nazi propaganda films as 'The Final Solution: Urban Renewal within the Warsaw Ghetto' and 'You Spell it Adolph, I spell it Adolf, Can't we all spell it F-U-H-R-E-R?"

Man i miss Phil Hartman.

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 17, 2004 04:23 PM

Man! So far, I own this thread!!!

Just one last question Ace.....Do any of these WW2 Harrison Ford movies star Anne Heche as a leading lady?

Cause I don't know about you, but nothing creates "big screen chemistry" like an poorly aging make lead and an on-again, off-again lesbian 30 years his junior!

I mean to carry this thought further....For true box office gold under this formula any WW2 movie only had to be promoted with the following two words:

Ford/Hepburn.

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 17, 2004 04:33 PM

Emporer CONSTANTINE?!?!?

It's Emporer PALPATINE, you poser. Turn in your polyhedral dice, you're not one of us.

... but seriously, #3 was a hoot. And I'd imagine that the movie may be pro-US in that it shows only the Bush administration are evil war-mongers, and the US military honorable but misguided pawns.

Posted by: Annoying Geek on December 17, 2004 04:49 PM

They're claiming West is pro-troops. But still, I'd just like to say:

Where is Mel Gibson when we need him???

Posted by: TallDave on December 17, 2004 04:52 PM

Ditto on the Mel Gibson remark. God, I love Mel.....

But not in a gay way, never in a gay way....

Posted by: Midaz on December 17, 2004 05:13 PM

Midaz,

I believe the phrase you are looking for is "like a viking".

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 17, 2004 05:23 PM

Ford DID make a WW2 film based on the premise of doing the guy's wife back home. It as called Hanover Street.

Posted by: ArrMatey on December 17, 2004 05:58 PM
10. A light romantic comedy titled Guess Who's Giving It To Your Wife Back Home?
No joke - a friend of mine in Jackson hooked up with her a couple years ago.
Posted by: fat kid on December 17, 2004 06:10 PM

I've always kind of liked Harrison Ford, mostly on the grounds that he's not Adam Sandler, so I'm not sure he deserved to get worked over like that. (altho now that I think about Sabrina and that Anne Heche thing...)

OTOH, you definitely nailed the Hollywood bravery-in-a-pointless cause template. Why is such a reflexively predictable approach regarded as a "thoughtful" view of the subject? Ironically, the last movie I recall that really broke the mold was called Glory...

Posted by: utron on December 17, 2004 06:33 PM

Funny story about #1. Anybody else read Jonathan Last's The Case For The Empire essay in the Weekly Standard?

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp

Best. Star Wars Conservative Analysis. Ever.

Posted by: Alex on December 17, 2004 09:34 PM

If you watch Air Force One (good movie, BTW), Ford plays a US president who goes after terrorists, international condemnation, domestic political considerations and multilateralism be damned. The tough guy president Hollywood and ordinary Americans idealize, right? Then when we get the real deal, Hollywood and liberals start shrieking.

Posted by: Moonbat_One on December 17, 2004 09:53 PM

Ace--

I take the football and run with it on my site: "Are There Any *Pro* War Movies?"

http://garfieldridge.blogspot.com/2004/12/are-there-any-pro-war-movies.html

Not a lot out there. . . but I've thought of a few.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 18, 2004 12:38 AM

NOTE: There was a great Desert Storm movie that I thought was very supportive of the troops -- 'Courage Under Fire' with Denzel Washington. He comes to grips with his friendly fire mistake while researching a medal recommendation for a female officer. Told in 'Rashoman' style, it was good stuff.

Posted by: bill on December 18, 2004 11:58 AM

Three Kings was very pro war (I guess), and if you remember the end of the movie then you realize that the American soldiers are all good guys.

Posted by: Josh on December 18, 2004 12:46 PM

1) Hanoi Hilton. See it.

2) I can't fucking resize the comments window. What the fuck? Just because you can do something with javascript doesn't mean you have to do it. Plus, everything is flush to the left fucking side of the window, which makes reading content annoying.

Posted by: McGurk on December 18, 2004 01:37 PM

Josh:

You thought Three Kings was very pro-war? Hmm.

I guess the soldiers came off well (those who had brains--conspicuously excluding one of the principal four, several peripheral soldiers including an officer), at least well enough to piss off some lefties at us.imdb.com.--too sympathetic. However, the director's sympathies are made clear with Clooney's character shouting at his CO just after Desert Storm, "Tell me what we did here!" The latter, interestingly, asks if he'd prefer to fight Vietnam all over again by staying and running the place.

Having an Iraqi character tell his captive of the grievous harm visited on his wife and child by our bombing? Fair enough. Making the poor sympathetic bastard a Republican Guard officer (who, we are given to believe, joined for the sake of his family and country, not to support Saddam) is crossing the line a bit--rather like having a sympathetic SS man tell us of his poor wife and kid in Dresden. Oh, and naturally he tells us of all the advanced training he received from--wait for it--the US! during the Iran-Iraq war. All our fault, y'see.

Wahlberg's character, under remarkably mild torture at this man's hands, makes a rather fumbling spokesman for the war, getting decisively answered by the RG captain. Then he gets a can of oil poured down his throat. Which I thought was a nice metaphor--for the audience's treatment at the hands of director David O. Russell, that is.

(I like this movie anyway, incidentally.)

Posted by: JPS on December 19, 2004 10:38 PM

Good Point. Anyways, this was where i met her. You can join for free as well www.redtricircle.com

Posted by: click here on March 12, 2005 03:49 AM
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