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« Sorry For the Lack of Blogging | Main | Charge: Three Democratic Senators Divulged Top Secrets About Stealth Satellites »
December 15, 2004

RIP: Dom Perignon Champagne

Sad to see him go, really. I always enjoyed his bubbly personality. He always made the forced-fun night called New Year's Eve slightly more tolerable.

Thanks to ClarkL.

Scout points out he was born in 1986... a most excellent vintage, by the way. The rains that year were exquisite.


posted by Ace at 05:05 PM
Comments



Wow, he was born in 1986 . . . doesn't that make you feel old.

Posted by: Scout on December 15, 2004 05:17 PM

One of his parents - Perfect Engelberger - was the Bad News Bears' catcher! Or something like that.

Posted by: mikeski on December 15, 2004 05:23 PM

Give blacks originality recognition at least on naming their kids with cool names..

Posted by: Cedarford on December 15, 2004 05:38 PM

Met a parent with a child named "Quatrus" one time. A coworker asked if she named her child that b/c he was the fourth kid. Her answer: No, I just made it up. Outstanding.

Posted by: Jeremy on December 15, 2004 05:40 PM

I once knew a woman who has a son named (and I have no idea if this is the correct spelling) Tequayvia.

Posted by: zetetic on December 15, 2004 05:58 PM

What were those parents thinking?

Well, at least they spelled it correctly.

Posted by: CalGrad on December 15, 2004 05:59 PM

Damn Ace,

If you start commenting on how your "sampling" of Dom revealed a body that was "full textured and flavorful", I'm really gonna believe this is fast becoming Ace of Sullivan's site.

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 15, 2004 06:01 PM

I thought Scout was a chick.

A mailman friend told us the most horrific female name he ever ran across- black lady of course; Placenta.

Posted by: lauraw on December 15, 2004 06:08 PM

I love Dom Perignon, but I've never had Dom Perigion. Is that made in Kentucky?

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on December 15, 2004 06:11 PM

Hippiest name ever: Oceana Blueskies

Some chick from Maui my friend went to HS with. Don't know why I always remembered that... Oh yeah, and she lived in the town of Paia - supposedly where Jerry Garcia's spirit went when he died. They had an influx of hippys tenting out in peoples yards for MONTHS - all collecting food stamps and eating down at "Mana" - the local restaurant. That place has the best breakfast croissants I've ever had in my life though... good times.

Posted by: fat kid on December 15, 2004 06:15 PM

Weird.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20041128/news_7m28crime.html

A broad daylight shooting.

Posted by: Kevin on December 15, 2004 06:45 PM

You know, I've "had" Dom, but I never swallowed.

Posted by: Carin on December 15, 2004 07:48 PM

My brother is an orthopedic resident in Chicago, some of the residents have put together a list of some of the more, er creative African-American names.
Some favorites:
Tupacolypse: A combination of Tupac and apocalypse
Shithead: pro-nounced shi-theeid (I swear this is how it is spelled)

The funny thing is, black people usually have very "normal" last names, they always make fun of the fact the white people have some of the goofiest last names. So it works both ways.

Posted by: Finlay on December 15, 2004 07:51 PM

I do child support enforcement in a largely black area. So I consistently see strange names for kids. Someone in our office keeps a list of the oddest names. My all-time favorite was Sir George Wright. A close second was "Placenta". My third favorite was "Vaseline".

Usually they have lots of apostrophes, something like Bri'etia'na or something like that. It's just African-American culture. Many of them try to find African sounding names, so who can begrudge them that? They're trying to establish a link to their native area that they were denied by slavery. It's no different than an Irish person naming their kid "Conan". It's just funny to the dorky white people like me.

I actually think Dom Perignon is pretty clever for someone with the last name of "Champagne". White people would be too uptight to name their kid that.

Posted by: Huck on December 15, 2004 08:16 PM

D'oh! Re-reading the comments I saw someone already had "Placenta". I wonder if it's the same one? There can't possibly be two could there?

Posted by: Huck on December 15, 2004 08:19 PM

The deceased mother was named "Perfect?" Damn! Somebody beat me to it

Posted by: Alex on December 15, 2004 08:48 PM

I am a chick, Laura. Dom Perignon is the guy Ace was talking about. I think.

I met a mom who named her daughter Taylin. I asked if it was a family name, and she said no, that they liked the names Taylor and Ashlin, and decided to combine them. Another mom I know named her son Jerred, a combination of the grandfathers' names of Jerry and Ed. Has a nice white trash feel to it, no?

I hope my son is thankful that his father and I opted to give him a real name, instead of a made-up bullshit one.

Posted by: Scout on December 15, 2004 10:07 PM

Placenta? Ewwwwwww . . . .

How about Lasagna or Broccoli? My mom is a teacher, and she once taught students by each of those names.

Posted by: Scout on December 15, 2004 10:09 PM

If you're gonna name your kid an African-sounding name, for crying out loud, do a little research and find a REAL African name. There are lots of very cool ones out there, that actually mean something and don't sound like the parents pulled their kid's name out of a Scrabble game.

Posted by: CalGrad on December 15, 2004 10:25 PM

My favorite was heard outside a K-Mart while the poor kid was being harangued and slapped by his "loving" mother.

"Sha'nickel! Sha'nickel, I said you come here!"

Posted by: Smack on December 15, 2004 11:07 PM

I agree CalGrad. But let's be honest. These people aren't rocket scientists. They're, well, quite frankly, the dumbest, most ignorant people in our society. Some are intelligent enough to at least give it a good try--witness the "Shanekas, Tamikas, etc."

As for the others...well, "Placenta" says it all. Whatever your political leanings....let's be honest, these people are the dregs of society. You can argue how they got that way, but there you are.

And to be fair, I also have worked in a predominantly white area. I heard tales of brother, sister, father, etc. interbreeding...so white people shouldn't be so cocky either.

Posted by: Huck on December 16, 2004 12:03 AM

I still remember the one hippie-chick I knew in High School
She came by it honestly: Her Parents named Her Summer Rain Amor.

Posted by: EbeneezerSquid on December 16, 2004 12:12 AM

Does Huck know racist he sounds? I mean is he doing it on purpose?

Posted by: James Davis on December 16, 2004 12:43 AM

I'm torn. On the one hand, sure, it's a funny name. On the other hand, this sets a disturbing precedent: what will Ace have to say the next time a Palestinian blows up an Israeli named Mogen David? I mean, the poor guy was shot to death in broad daylight; it's not like he deliberately invited ridicule by appearing in a Shake-n-Bake commercial the way Toppie Smellie did.

Capsule review: ten out of ten for funny name, but minus several million (or -3, at least) for good taste. Rating: 7

Posted by: Guy T. on December 16, 2004 01:00 AM

My best friend went to school in Jersey with a gal who pronounced her name fa-mall-ee.

My friend swears that when she asked her what it meant, she said "Nothing really. My mom said it was on the form they brought to her at the hospital."

Her name was spelled F-E-M-A-L-E.

Posted by: jmflynny on December 16, 2004 01:55 AM

James Davis, Huck is probably a plant from MoveOn trying to make the site look bad. So, yes, he knows how he sounds.

Posted by: Feyd on December 16, 2004 02:48 AM

I knew a white farm kid named ...... Bud Wiser.

Posted by: Master of None on December 16, 2004 10:38 AM

I once worked with a black lady with the oh-so-unfortunate first name of Latrina.

What, do you suppose, her parent(s) were thinking - if at all?

Posted by: Dan-O on December 16, 2004 11:07 AM

Well, sorry if I sounded racist. But anyone who names their kid "Placenta" isn't very bright, I don't care what color they are.

Posted by: Huck on December 16, 2004 02:34 PM

"Not very bright" and "The dregs of the earth" are not really the same thing, are they?

Posted by: MAD on December 17, 2004 11:32 AM

I knew a girl in high school whose hippie parents named her Rain Beaux.
Also, I knew of a girl in Mississippi named Placenta, and a boy named "Sir Larry Jones."
Have you heard of " o RON jull o" and "luh MON jull o" (Orangejello and Lemonjello)? What about "buh SEE bull" (Baseball)?
Plus all these "classy" sounding names like Diamond Unique...poor kids.

Posted by: Penmeister on January 11, 2005 10:04 AM

His mother wasn't the catcher for the Bad News Bears. One of the characters in the movie was named Engelberg.

Posted by: SteelCityTBird on January 13, 2005 09:23 AM
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