Saturday Night Club ONT - April 25, 2026 [D Squared]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. Come in in, grab a drink or 3. Have fun if you can, Wang Chung if you must!

The White House Correspondent's Dinner was interrupted earlier this evening. Fog of war rules are in effect. It appears an uninvited guest may have tried to force their way through a security checkpoint in the lobby before being stopped with force. POTUS, FLOTUS, VPOTUS and other administration members were evacuated from the ballroom. Other attendees remained but took cover under tables and immediately took to social media (except Wolf Blitzer who was going to the men's room). The dinner will be rescheduled. POTUS will make a statement from the White House shortly. Developing...

Anyway...

[Top photo: HIMITSU Speakeasy Bar in Berlin]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for a the local tax assessor and the town Mayor to come to the hospital.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.

The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the tax assessor and Mayor were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Mayor asked, "Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"

The old pastor mustered all his strength, and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I'd like to go."

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of wine, they retire to their tent for the night.

At about 3 am, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions of stars."

Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?"

Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant.
What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes replies, "Someone stole our tent."

Drink of the Night

Tonight we drew the six of diamonds from our deck of playing card cocktails

This guy applied to be JQ's backup bartender.

Club ONT Local News Desk

Newark teens gear up for school board elections after voting age extended to 16

In 2024, Newark became the third city in the U.S., and first in New Jersey, to allow 16-and-17-year-olds to vote in school board elections. The change was spurred by a student-led campaign aimed at giving young people more power at the polls.

On April 15, eleven candidates are running for three seats on the nine-member board that governs the Newark School District, the first election in which 16- and 17-year-olds who live in the district can cast a ballot. As the election approaches, students are seizing on the opportunity to make their voices heard.

"It feels very good,” Collins Esubonteng, 16, told Bolts. Esubonteng and six other students coordinated the forum with the help of The Gem Project, a Newark organization that promotes youth leadership. "Now, they're actually gonna have to listen to us and they have to make changes to cater to us or else they won’t get our vote."

Caption: What could possibly go wrong?

Alt caption: Wait until they figure out that the board won't really make changes to cater to the teenage vote.

Club ONT Department of Food

Club ONT Department of Classical Music

Keyboard skillz!

Club ONT Department of History and Science

In the early morning hours of April 26, 1986, Unit 4 reactor of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant became famous. Have you ever seen the inside of the enormous facility? Walking tour:

Club ONT Department of Marital Harmony

The Club ONT Jukebox

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