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December 15, 2004
Create a "Virtual Model" of YourselfDamnit, every time I do it I come out looking like either that blonde doofus on 90210 or Normal Fell from Three's Company. I must be pushing the wrong buttons. Finally! I Nailed It! The perfect vitual model of Ace! It's almost like they digitized me just like they did to Susan Dey in Looker!
Beef-- It's what's for fuckin' dinner. posted by Ace at 12:27 AM
Comments"Ace - the other white meat" Posted by: Patton on December 15, 2004 12:46 AM
Please read, if you haven't already, this morning's Washington Post article describing how the voting "foul-ups appeared particularly acute in Democratic-leaning districts, according to interviews with voters, poll workers, election observers and election board and party officials, as well as an examination of precinct voting patterns in several cities." more: www.politicalthought.net or: WP For those of you with weak hearts, try to control your rage as you read this... Posted by: Igor Volsky on December 15, 2004 01:02 AM
As if Erik Estrada hadn't damaged me enough... Posted by: someone on December 15, 2004 01:51 AM
This virtual modeling software is used online at LandsEnd.com. Check it out. Posted by: Jacarutu on December 15, 2004 03:45 AM
Jabba the Hutt with hair. Igor - my rage is uncontrollable! Posted by: barbula on December 15, 2004 07:28 AM
BTW do I get at least blogrolled for this shit! I think you should put it under a fun new category-Hot Lesbo Star Wars Chick Pundits. :-) Posted by: Wittysexkitten on December 15, 2004 08:58 AM
Hmmm I had a comment before the one requesting a blog roll and it seems to have disappeared? What I had said was that your man boobs are bigger than my virtual model's. I can recommend an excellent brand of BRO support for those things. And you should've at least put a button down and some khaki's on him, because no one wants to look at that shit-only my virtual model gets to prance around in a bikini okay? And I put the virtual model up btw because I had already gotten "I'm a perv! Send me a pic!" e-mails and as I have explained, in order to protect my future career and appease some lonely readers-I figured she was good enough to fulfill the fantasy. So sadly I am not up for phone/cyber/animal/republican on democrat sex. Sorry to dissapoint. Thanks for the hat tip. Posted by: wittysexkitten on December 15, 2004 09:37 AM
Good Lord, Ace. If I wanted to see things like that, I'd spend more time hanging out at Boi from Troi... Posted by: utron on December 15, 2004 10:44 AM
HEY, you and I must have been separated at birth. Later, (PS: actually, the results I got didn't look like that but they DID look a lot like me. It was admitedly a little weird.) Posted by: bbeck on December 15, 2004 11:34 AM
Agh! Curse my compulsive link-clicking eyes! Was that necessary? Was that called for? Posted by: Dianna on December 15, 2004 11:37 AM
1) Tab order is fixed! Woo hoo! So sadly I am not up for phone/cyber/animal/republican on democrat sex.Not even dolphin sex? (I won't link it out of respect for ace) Posted by: fat kid on December 15, 2004 12:40 PM
Close it up, dammit! CLOSE IT UP!!!!!!
Posted by: hobgoblin on December 15, 2004 01:34 PM
Ace, I believe Mr. Paul Anka was correct in his opinions on the necessity of a certain item of men’s clothing. Perhaps Mr. Anka’s beliefs were derived from his sitting down to his browser one morning and being bitch slapped with a shot of man-tits. I don’t know. Posted by: John on December 15, 2004 01:41 PM
Thanks for link, but my eyes!! Good lord my eyes, they burn!!!!!!!!!! Posted by: Rusty Shackleford on December 15, 2004 02:15 PM
That image was way too much information. Now I know why they invented burkas. Posted by: johnd01 on December 15, 2004 03:39 PM
Don't listen to 'em, Ace! Nothing wrong with being hefty but fer cryin' out loud, get a haircut! Posted by: rapidtransit on December 15, 2004 04:11 PM
Heh. I managed to get the body pretty much right but I couldn't get the face close at all (which is probably because they were using reasonably pretty faces). Posted by: Kathy K on December 15, 2004 08:29 PM
It's all about marketing. Once you complete your model you can go 'shopping' with it. There are links provided for various clothiers with whom your model can try on their wares/wears. I used the model builder for something better than a virtual mirror. I created the ideal man. Well, almost...they offer have the wire-rimmed glasses accessory I crave. Posted by: jmflynny on December 15, 2004 11:13 PM
didn't offer.... Posted by: jmflynny on December 15, 2004 11:14 PM
Tiny feet. TINY feet. TINY ITTY BITTY feet. Posted by: Auspex on December 16, 2004 10:11 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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