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Comey Indicted for Threating Trump's Life with "8645" Post?
Fauci Advisor David Morens -- Whom Biden Forgot to Pardon -- Arrested and Charged for Conspiracy and Destruction of Federal Records Related to Fauci's COVID Cover-Up
Update! Is Peter Daszak Next?!
DOJ Lear Somali Pirates a Lesson, Raiding 22 Pirate Plunder Operations in Tim Walz's Third World Hell-Hole of Minneapolis
The Morning Rant: NATO...An Idea Whose Time Is Past
Rainy Season Cafe
Quick Hits
Queer Stammer Survives Parliamentary Vote; "No Kings" Democrats Wildly Applaud Literal King of Post-Christian England
House Passes Bill to Deport Foreign Pirates who Defraud the American Taxpayer; 186 Democrats Vote to Keep the Pirates In the Country
"Objective" "Journalists" Chuck Todd & Chris Cilizza: It's Donald Trump's Fault That Our Friends Keep Trying to Kill Him, "Chaos Follows Him" and it Makes Us Unsafe If We're "In His Orbit" When the Next Leftist We Programmed to Kill Takes a shot
Virginia Supreme Court Denies Democrat Motion to Impose Gerrymandered Map During the Hearings Over Its Legality
Comey Indicted for Threating Trump's Life with "8645" Post?
Fauci Advisor David Morens -- Whom Biden Forgot to Pardon -- Arrested and Charged for Conspiracy and Destruction of Federal Records Related to Fauci's COVID Cover-Up
Update! Is Peter Daszak Next?!
DOJ Lear Somali Pirates a Lesson, Raiding 22 Pirate Plunder Operations in Tim Walz's Third World Hell-Hole of Minneapolis
The Morning Rant: NATO...An Idea Whose Time Is Past
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AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
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December 09, 2004
University of Michigan Will Teach Sex To, Get This, College Students
Talk about bringing coals to Newcastle. By junior year I could have been a TA in such a course.
I entered college with 3 AP credits in "painful six-hour grinding sessions" and I "totally" aced the SAT section on "well-nigh constant self-gratification."
When your Mom asks you what the hell you're doing in the bathroom for an hour and a half, do you say you're "just fixing your hair"? Absolutely not-- that's the Joe Bloggs answer. Not even Heather Locklear spends ninety minutes working on her bangs.
Tell her instead you think you have a virulent stomach flu and that you fear you may vomit. That way, you get her off your tits for ten blissful minutes, and then she makes you hot cocoa later.
So, see, I sorta get the feeling that college students kinda know what they're doing on that score.
Maybe you start, I don't know, making character-building courses mandatory, rather than redefining the core mission of college as sexual evangelism.
Thanks to NickS.
posted by Ace at 04:05 PM
CommentsPosted by: Nicholas Kronos on December 9, 2004 04:51 PM
Actually, I knew a few college boys who could've used the info. Enthusiasm isn't a good substitute for skill.
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck on December 9, 2004 05:09 PM
"Oh Gary, you told me you were combing your hair!"
Posted by: Christopher Cross on December 9, 2004 05:49 PM
Actually, I didn't meet ONE college boy that could do it right. Yes, yes, definitely a course is needed.
Posted by: Carin on December 9, 2004 05:58 PM
OK..all you gals whining about the college boys and their inabilityto get the job done....
I have 18 years of pleasuring interns (who are roughly college aged)...send me your resume/photo and I'll consider expanding my "constituent services" program to you too....
Your faithful servant,
Senator P.A.Buster
Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 9, 2004 06:04 PM
"I have 18 years of pleasuring interns (who are roughly college age..."
Mr. Clinton, is that you?
Later,
bbeck
Posted by: bbeck on December 9, 2004 06:21 PM
Oh, I eventually found someone who had taken the "advanced course". Ex-military, of course. He had/has the "skills" that were sorely lacking among the campus boys. Why else would I have had 5 kids in 7 years?
Posted by: Carin on December 9, 2004 06:55 PM
"By junior year I could have been a TA in such a course."
A T&A TA, huh?
And don't tell me you didn't all think it....
Posted by: Brian B on December 9, 2004 07:12 PM
Hey Ace, I never got the whole thing about doing it in the bathroom. Didn't you have a bedroom? Then again, I didn't have any brothers.
Posted by: CraigC on December 9, 2004 08:04 PM
At my own institution, I have signed up for three hours of independent study to satisfy me requirement in this field. I may even need to do some field work next semester, perhaps in Thailand.
Hmmm....how to write a grant....
Posted by: See Dubya on December 9, 2004 08:22 PM
Grant Proposal
"I intend to exaime the native rituals and culturally imposed norms of the reclusive Thailand Sexworkers Tribe. As part of my study I will observe and participate in Sexworker Tribe's daily life, including mating rituals, and compare and contrast rleations between different members of the Tribe with an outsider (myself). "
Posted by: Iblis on December 9, 2004 09:01 PM
No hat tip to Princeton Review for the Joe Bloggs reference? For shame.
Of course Joe always goes with the easy answer to hard questions. In this case, that's finishing up quickly to get back to SportsCenter. That's why bbeck found college boys' answers to the age old question of the female orgasm so lacking.
Or not.
Posted by: Birkel on December 9, 2004 11:17 PM
Ace: I think they mean sex with other people.
Posted by: someone on December 10, 2004 01:41 AM
Good Point. Anyways, this was where i met her. You can join for free as well www.redtricircle.com
Posted by: click here on March 12, 2005 03:50 AM
Post a comment
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
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Top Headlines
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents.
Erika Kirk was present.
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents.
Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry
when you said good-bye
70s, not 50s
Now that is a motherflipping intro
You made me cry
when you said good-bye
70s, not 50s
Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this.
He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again.
You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
Tucker Carlson Network
@TCNetwork
The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus.
Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity.
Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this.
He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again.
You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m
Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups."
So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations.
That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera
Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite
thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker.
And I guess you think you've got it made
Oh, but then, you never were afraid
Of anything that you've left behind
Oh, but it's alright with me now
'Cause I'll get back up somehow
And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win
Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker.
And I guess you think you've got it made
Oh, but then, you never were afraid
Of anything that you've left behind
Oh, but it's alright with me now
'Cause I'll get back up somehow
And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win
Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You
You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.
A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols
Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You
Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta
Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me
Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
The Dowd-O-Matic!
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
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