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December 05, 2004

French Hunter Shot in Buttocks By Own Gun

What is it with these people and dropping their weapons?

MARSEILLE, France, Dec 3 (AFP) - It was a case of the hunter being hunted when a 70-year-old French man stopped to relieve himself against a tree Friday and was shot in the backside by his own rifle.

Firefighters in southern France recounting the incident said the unidentified man leant his gun against a car and was shot when it fell to the ground and discharged.

Firemen said the bullet merely grazed his rump, adding that he had escaped serious injury by a centimetre or so.

In related news, a party of Parisian hunters reportedly surrendered to four rabbits who "seemed particularly bad-tempered." The hunters have agreed to install a puppet regime under the direct control of the rabbits, and have agreed to invest all of their money into publishing and distributing the hateful anti-human political manifesto Watership Down.

Related: A French soldier bravely attempts to blow up a weapons depot.... belonging to the French Army.

You know, the French have done a lot of stupid things in warfare. And they've always believed they could do these stupid things and succeed, because they were possessed of a superlative esprit de corps (a French term translating loosely as "ghost of a corpse," which seems just plain redundant to me, but then, maybe I just lack the proper Gallic nuance).

Not only do they not have a superlative corpse-ghost, they seem to have a pretty f'n' shoddy one. I'm not one to brag, and I'm not the world's best fighter, but seriously, I think I can personally kick the ass of the entire French Army.

Seriously. Set it up. I'm game.

Thanks for both tips to GregS.


posted by Ace at 06:03 PM
Comments



Its typical that the only guy with balls in the French Army is going to be drummed out because they think he's insane.

Posted by: Iblis on December 5, 2004 06:22 PM

I suspect Iblis has it 'spot on' and I agree that you could personally kick the ass of the entire French Army - after they get rid of that one guy.

Not that I think that impressive. I could probably kick the ass of the entire French Army too (once he's gone). But I wouldn't attempt the French Foreign Legion.

Posted by: Kathy K on December 5, 2004 06:43 PM

I guess it should come as no surprise that the guy managed to shoot himself in the back. That small fact leads me to believe his story about taking a piss break is bullshit. He was obviously in some kind of a disagreement with his gun, and was fleeing in retreat when the gun got him. Ahh, the French.

Posted by: Sharkman on December 5, 2004 07:07 PM

Following the shot, he immediately surrendered.

Posted by: zetetic on December 6, 2004 08:47 AM

Is it churlish to point out that the French soldier became the first ever in history to take on the French and FAIL?

Posted by: Phil on December 6, 2004 10:11 AM

Further Update:

In an attempt to end the bloodshed, the entire French Army surrenders to its own weapons. When interviewed, a French rifle was quoted as saying "Look, it's not that we don't like the French, we were just getting a bit tired of always being dropped".

Posted by: Master of None on December 6, 2004 12:18 PM

Actually, it's a koan-like paradox. Zeno would be proud:

When two frenchmen fight, who will surrender first?

Posted by: Gumbi Dammit on December 6, 2004 01:25 PM

I can't remember which blog very recently compared the French police to Inspector Clouseau, but today's story further validates that comparison ...

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=564&ncid=564&e=3&u=/nm/20041206/ts_nm/france_explosives_gaffe_dc

"PARIS (Reuters) - France's police minister vowed on Monday to punish officers who planted explosives in an unwitting plane passenger's luggage to test their sniffer dogs but then lost the "bomb," which remains missing after a three-day hunt."

Did you say, "beumb"?

Posted by: Alex on December 6, 2004 02:27 PM
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