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« Wizbang's Best of Blogs Voting Is Open | Main | Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Radar Love? »
December 02, 2004

Need a Job? INXS Looking For New Frontman

Michael Hutchence offed himself, and the band broke up. Now they want to reform with a new singer chosen via an American Idol style auditional process.

The entry form is a bitch, though:

1. Do you ever feel like tying a rope around the rafter of your garage and hanging yourself?

2. Come on, don't shit me here. You know there's something transcendentally satisfying about that final delicious release into blissful oblivion. Just admit it, and we'll all feel better about ourselves.

3. When you're driving in a pouring rain at night and in fast-moving traffic, do you

A) keep your foot over your brake pedal in order to make smooth stops if necessary

B) keep your speed below 40 mph

C) listen to voices of beautiful but severe angels urging you to wrap your car around a lamp-post

4. Complete this sentence: I (do) (do not) have a well-nigh unconquerable urge to inject a cocktail of Everclear and rattlesnake venom directly into my vena cava.

5. Who would you say is the celebrity you feel the greatest kinship with?

A) Kurt Cobain

B) Jim Morrison

C) Sinbad, the happy-go-lucky life-affirming comedic actor

6. Ever get the blues?

7. If the answer to Number 6 is "Yes," do you ever wish for a hard rain to wash the world away? Or the desire to go joyriding and/or skiing with members of the Kennedy family?


Anyway, if you're interested, good luck with the gig! And make sure you wear one of those "CHOOSE LIFE" t-shirts from Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.


posted by Ace at 03:52 PM
Comments



That's very funny. I especially liked "beautiful but severe angels."

Posted by: jamie r. on December 2, 2004 04:05 PM

Ahhhh....Ace, don't you remember that "every single one of us has a devil inside?"

If just one of those devils allowed me entry to Kylie Minogues secret delights, that would really be "kick"in.

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on December 2, 2004 04:26 PM


Not that it's much better, but it came out a few years ago that he didn't commit suicide. He was into autoerotic asphyxiation.

Posted by: cameo on December 2, 2004 04:51 PM

How about "Do you get teary every time you hear BOC's 'Don't Fear the Reaper'?"

Posted by: Carin on December 2, 2004 05:16 PM

The only thing I'd like to affirm is the hope that Sinbad follows Michael Hutchence into the Great Hereafter quickly, and quietly.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on December 2, 2004 05:39 PM

You know, I'll bet he always liked the idea of being "Elegantly Wasted".

And that's DEFINITELY what I would call a "New Sensation"...

Posted by: Rick on December 2, 2004 06:52 PM
Posted by: poker me up on December 29, 2004 02:39 PM
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