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Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more!

TJM watched a stupid stoner comedy and laughed.

ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents.
Erika Kirk was present.

Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry
when you said good-bye
70s, not 50s
Now that is a motherflipping intro

Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it!

TJM explores the films of Peter Weir, director of Master and Commander

TJM discusses the different adaptations of Dune

NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]

TJM discusses Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Portlandia: Would you like to double down on your meal?

Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him

Tucker Carlson Network
@TCNetwork

The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus.

Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity.

Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this.
He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again.
You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.

Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk Orban losing, but is it the end of Hungary? The Irish start a brawl, but is it enough, Pope Leo wades into politics, Trump calls Iran's bluff and blockades Hormuz, Artemis II! Swallwell is scum, and more!

People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Alfred Hitchcock

@KFILE 21m

Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups."

So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations.
That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera
Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite
thanks to weft-cut loop.

This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.

Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.

Artemis II Crew releases clearest images of the Far Side yet recorded

Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker.
And I guess you think you've got it made
Oh, but then, you never were afraid
Of anything that you've left behind
Oh, but it's alright with me now
'Cause I'll get back up somehow
And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win
Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area.

Sarah Longwell spotting

Recent Comments

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i]Sponge, thanks. JQ told me how to fix it.. Pos ..."

Smell the Glove: "The tie right now is a generally good sign for the ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "][i]The advertisers on the Kimmel show are the one ..."

Ordinary American: "83 Posobiec is Temu Cucker woke reich, got famous ..."

Ben Had: "Sponge, thanks. JQ told me how to fix it.. ..."

JackStraw: "Fap >>@nicksortor >>🚨 JUST IN: James ..."

Ben Had: "NaCly, dearest. Food, water and electricity are ..."

18-1: "The general congressional ballot being even doesn' ..."

[/b][/i][/u][/s]I used to have a different nic: "[i]I recall The Dog Eater losing 63 House seats in ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i] one hour sober, thank you. Posted by: Ben Had ..."

NaCly Dog: "{{{Ben Had}}} Food in Iran should be running ou ..."

Smell the Glove: "@71 thx SF that's where I saw it @78 runner agree ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries The Morning Report — 4/ 29/26 Daily Tech News 29 April 2026 Tuesday Overnight Open Thread - April 28, 2026 [Doof] Rainy Season Cafe Quick Hits Queer Stammer Survives Parliamentary Vote; "No Kings" Democrats Wildly Applaud Literal King of Post-Christian England House Passes Bill to Deport Foreign Pirates who Defraud the American Taxpayer; 186 Democrats Vote to Keep the Pirates In the Country "Objective" "Journalists" Chuck Todd & Chris Cilizza: It's Donald Trump's Fault That Our Friends Keep Trying to Kill Him, "Chaos Follows Him" and it Makes Us Unsafe If We're "In His Orbit" When the Next Leftist We Programmed to Kill Takes a shot Virginia Supreme Court Denies Democrat Motion to Impose Gerrymandered Map During the Hearings Over Its Legality Comey Indicted for Threating Trump's Life with "8645" Post? Fauci Advisor David Morens -- Whom Biden Forgot to Pardon -- Arrested and Charged for Conspiracy and Destruction of Federal Records Related to Fauci's COVID Cover-Up Update! Is Peter Daszak Next?! Absent Friends Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups NoVaMoMe 2026: 06/20/2026 Arlington VA Contact Bluebell/Weasel for info Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« The 10 Plagues: Locusts, Frogs, Blood, and Al Franken \| Main \| Another Six Words I Never Thought I'd Write: Pat Sajak Is On Fuckin' Fire » December 01, 2004 Top Ten Signs Pat Sajak Is On Fuckin' Fire 10. Latest phrase on Wheel of Fortune? "SUCK MY DIRTY HAIRY BALLS" 9. Old Pat Sajak Public Persona: The nice, sweet guy you want your daughter to marry New Pat Sajak Public Persona: The guy who knocked up your daughter and then forced her to have dangerous Mexican breast-augmentation surgery (and then banged her sister) 8. Candidly admits reason for having so many porcelain dalmations on early shows-- was connected to Bonano Crime Family and was using tacky tchochtkees to smuggle black-tar heroin 7. When a recent contestant wasn't able to guess author's name for puzzle "STE_EN _ING," blurted out, "What are you, some kind of fucking retard?", then referred to contestant as "Corky from Life Goes On" for remainder of broadcast 6. Explains reason his late-night talk show failed was due to "stuffed-shirt network pussies" who wouldn't let him explore the issues most important to him-- illegal fireworks, cock-fighting, and vagina 5. Tom Sizemore, Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke and Robert Blake just attempted to have an "intervention" with Sajak over his out-of-control, hard-living lifestyle; all four men are said to now be in "stable but guarded condition" at Los Angeles County General 4. Just had name legally changed to "Pat Fucking Sajak" 3. New rider in contract calls for separate adjoining suite for "my ginormous crotchmonster" 2. Is being investigated in connection with gangland-style shooting deaths of Tupac Shakur and Biggie Smalls; police are pursuing possible motive that both men "just sort of rubbed Sajak the wrong way" ...and the Number One Sign that Pat Sajak is on Fuckin' Fire... 1. Vanna White has that contented, beaming glow of a woman who's just been kept prisoner in somone's psychosexual torture chamber/rumpus room for six weeks straight* Don't believe me? The poor woman winces everytime she hears the words "bumper pool." posted by Ace at 04:06 PM Comments Funny. Kind of reminds me of this: http://www.rossetta.com/patboone.htm Maybe Sajak's just in a metal mood. Posted by: skinbad on December 1, 2004 04:23 PM "Vagina" is an issue? Posted by: Kerry on December 1, 2004 04:28 PM Funny stuff Ace! Knew you wouldn't disappoint! :-) Posted by: IdFaciam on December 1, 2004 04:37 PM "Vagina" is an issue?* It's the issue, dude. Posted by: ace on December 1, 2004 04:37 PM There's the Ace we know and love. Posted by: Sobek on December 1, 2004 04:49 PM Hilarious. Thank you. Posted by: torchpraise on December 1, 2004 06:29 PM Um, not to be a jerk or anything, but it's StePHen King. Or maybe there's an author named Steven Bing I'm not aware of. Later, bbeck Posted by: bbeck on December 1, 2004 06:53 PM fuckin' great, Ace. classic. Posted by: francisthegreat on December 1, 2004 07:32 PM He had to crack sometime. How can a man be expected to stand across from Vanna White (in dresses cut down to her ASS) for decades and not bang her? FUCK YEAH! Posted by: Iblis on December 1, 2004 07:54 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more! TJM watched a stupid stoner comedy and laughed. ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present. Forgotten 70s Mystery Click You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro Podcast: Sefton and CBD wonder about the Chaos that Trump is creating in the minds of the Iranian junta, Virginia redistricting is pure power grab, Ilhan Omar is many things ...and stupid too! Amazon censoring conservative thought again, and the UK...put a fork in it! TJM explores the films of Peter Weir, director of Master and Commander TJM discusses the different adaptations of Dune NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium "The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD] TJM discusses Close Encounters of the Third Kind Portlandia: Would you like to double down on your meal? Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him Tucker Carlson Network @TCNetwork The people in charge [Jews, of course -- ace] don't want you to know this, but Muslims love Jesus. Islam reveres Him as a major prophet and messenger of the Lord, believes He performed miracles, and states that He will return to Earth to defeat the Antichrist. That's why Donald Trump's painting depicting himself as the Son of God offended the president of Iran. It was an attack on his religion as well as Christianity. Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card. Podcast: CBD and Sefton talk Orban losing, but is it the end of Hungary? The Irish start a brawl, but is it enough, Pope Leo wades into politics, Trump calls Iran's bluff and blockades Hormuz, Artemis II! Swallwell is scum, and more! People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him. TJM definitively ranks the films of Alfred Hitchcock @KFILE 21m Politico is reporting that multiple people have abruptly resigned from Eric Swalwell's gubernatorial campaign: "Members of senior leadership have departed the campaign, including Courtni Pugh, a strategic adviser who served as Swalwell's top liaison to organized labor groups." So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop. This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you. Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one. Artemis II Crew releases clearest images of the Far Side yet recorded Classic Rock Mystery Click This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area. Sarah Longwell spotting Recent Comments Sponge - Fck Cancer: "[i]Sponge, thanks. JQ told me how to fix it.. Pos ..." Smell the Glove: "The tie right now is a generally good sign for the ..." Sponge - Fck Cancer: "][i]The advertisers on the Kimmel show are the one ..." Ordinary American: "83 Posobiec is Temu Cucker woke reich, got famous ..." Ben Had: "Sponge, thanks. JQ told me how to fix it.. ..." JackStraw: "Fap >>@nicksortor >>🚨 JUST IN: James ..." Ben Had: "NaCly, dearest. Food, water and electricity are ..." 18-1: "The general congressional ballot being even doesn' ..." [/b][/i][/u][/s]I used to have a different nic: "[i]I recall The Dog Eater losing 63 House seats in ..." Sponge - Fck Cancer: "[i] one hour sober, thank you. Posted by: Ben Had ..." NaCly Dog: "{{{Ben Had}}} Food in Iran should be running ou ..." Smell the Glove: "@71 thx SF that's where I saw it @78 runner agree ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.* The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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Top Ten Signs Pat Sajak Is On Fuckin' Fire