Where is Chevy Chase when you need him?

Maybe he's just mostly dead, not all dead.

I like my own joke: "condition stable, and dead."

I heard that Chirac is applying life-saving mouth-to-cock resuscitation.

1. Sounds like end-stage AIDs. Just a matter of time. It's odd that with the amount of Muslim buggery, AIDs isn't a bigger problem there - yet. Hope the French have the sack (Ha!) to list the actual cause of death.

2. Hope he joins the special circle of hell reserved for unrepenentant terrorists like Pol Pot, Menachim Begin, Stalin, Goebbels.

3. Wouldn't if be a bitch if on the other hand Arafat does go to Paradise, Allah gives him 72 comely female virgins and Arafat has to confess he doesn't know what to do with them?

4. Off topic, but delicious. Think of Thune losing last time to Johnson as a hunting story. Thune goes out and shoots a rabbit for dinner. As he goes up to retrieve it, another hunter, Johnson, claims his Indian buddies had shot the rabbit half an hour before and the poor beast finally expired. Thune reliquishes the rabbit rather than get in an ugly fight - goes off muttering to hunt over the next rise - and bags a 16-point buck.

The irony for the Democrats is that by rigging the Johnson-Thune election, they let the only good Republican hunter continue to hunt, and he got Daschle in a pot shot. No other Republican in S. Dakota could have gotten Daschle.

Yes, what goes around comes around!

Wrap the murderous asshole in bacon and bury him beneath a hog trough.

But we have no way of knowing the extent of AIDS in the Arab world, because they're closed societies. Ofra Haza, the great Yemeni Jewish singer, died of AIDS she contracted from her husband, who of course said it was from IV drug use.

Celebrity AIDS Rule #1: Incredibly, even tho outside sub-Saharan Africa, 99.9999% of men get AIDS from getting shtupped, this is NEVER the case with media figures, whom I guess are too fastidious (Magic, Tommy Morrison, Brad Davis, Anthony Perkins, even - yes - AS!)

The old bastard was bad enough when he was animated...now he's going to continue as a fuckin zombie? Did'nt they tell him halloween is over?

At least I got my wish that the murderous bastard lived long enough to know that Bush was re-elected.

How do you say "Get me a Rod of Resurrection in here, stat!" in French?

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Bring out your dead!

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major