Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
 cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
 mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
 petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
 sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Axios "Journalist:" The White House Says That Everything Tucker Carlson Is Saying Is Bullshit

Taqiyya Qatarlson: The CIA Is Preparing a Criminal Referral Against Me Just Because I Was Acting as a Foreign Agent for Iran

Money Center Banks that Pushed the Tricolor Securities Fraud Are Being Sued by the Investors That Were Defrauded

Mid-Morning Art Thread

The Morning Report — 3/16/26

Daily Tech News 16 March 2026

Sunday Overnight Open Thread - March 15, 2026 [Doof]

Gun Thread: March #3 Edition!

Food Thread: A Tisket, A Tasket, The Brisket's In The Basket*

First World Problems...

Absent Friends
Jon Ekdahl 2026
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Cutting The Cord
[Joe Mannix (not a cop)]

Moron Meet-Ups

Texas MoMe 2025: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« CNN Analysts: Ohio "Increasingly Difficult" for John Kerry | Main | Excitable Andy Speaks »
November 03, 2004

BUSH WINS OHIO

FoxNews CALLS!!!!

REPEAT:

GEORGE W. BUSH PROJECTED TO WIN OHIO BY FOXNEWS; NOT ENOUGH OUTSTANDING VOTES TO OVERCOME CURRENT MARGIN

Neeeds one or two more tiny states.

ALASKA = in the bag. Yields 3 EV's, gives Bush 269, enough to force a tie, and bring us to the House of Representatives.

EITHER NH OR NM WILL NOW WIN IT FOR BUSH!!!

(Or Iowa, Wisconsin, or any of the bigger Gore states.)

KNOCK KNOCK SPIT SPIT: FoxNews now making my stomach churn by noting that Bush's lead in Ohio is diminishing as the votes continue rolling in.

I've been here before.

No Kim Richards.


posted by Ace at 12:42 AM
Comments



Wooooooooooooooo!

Posted by: Xoxotl on November 3, 2004 12:42 AM

The fat lady has taken the stage, my friend.

Cheers,
Dave

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 3, 2004 12:42 AM

HOT DAMN! My heart just stopped beating.

Posted by: TSL on November 3, 2004 12:43 AM

3 EV from Alaska, plus 5 EV from New Mexico and maybe 4 EV from Hawaii = 278, so Bush wins. Might even pick up some more along the way. About fucking time.

Posted by: physics geek on November 3, 2004 12:45 AM

Bush Wins!

Posted by: Duhggee on November 3, 2004 12:45 AM

Yes! This is such a big relief.

Posted by: H.D. Miller on November 3, 2004 12:45 AM

STAY ON TARGET!

Posted by: The Black Republican on November 3, 2004 12:45 AM

*begins tearing up*

So happy . . .

Posted by: Rob on November 3, 2004 12:46 AM

What is it Obi-Wan?

It felt like a millon DU voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were unable to shut-up...

Posted by: Rich on November 3, 2004 12:47 AM

Dude, someone needs to do a land-mass analysis of the voting results - bush would have like 95% of total acreage of the country...just LOOK at that map!!!!

Posted by: fat kid on November 3, 2004 12:48 AM

3 words ace

KIM RICHARDS!

Posted by: Midaz on November 3, 2004 12:48 AM

Mr. Kerry: Sit down and shut up!

Mrs. Kerry: Shove it!

Posted by: Philip on November 3, 2004 12:49 AM

This erection, er, I mean Election is the best since Ronald Regan bitch-slapped Carter and Clint Eastwood got his own police force! Now how about some of that Kim Richards?

Posted by: Dacotti on November 3, 2004 12:49 AM

FUCK IT. I'M NOT GOING INTO WORK TOMORROW.

I'm so drunk now...but we won.

HEY ACE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING PESSIMIST: WE WON!!!

Understand, I curse because I love.

Posted by: Jeff B. on November 3, 2004 12:50 AM

Wait for it...wait for it...no other networks have called it yet, should tune into one of the others to watch the meltdown.

Posted by: Elric on November 3, 2004 12:50 AM

Let's not relax and break out the champagne and caviar just yet!

Still, LOOKING GOOD!!

Way to go, W.

Hey ace, maybe we can STILL build the conservative warmaster state of our dreams.

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on November 3, 2004 12:51 AM

I can hear Kerry right now...

Where's Joe? (lockhart)

Please start the Paul Anka-isms, thanks.

Posted by: AndrewF on November 3, 2004 12:53 AM

mmmm, a solid electoral win combined with a nice margin in the popular vote... how sweet it is. I credit Ace and his urgent call to "Vote like a coked-up gibbon"...

Posted by: marc on November 3, 2004 12:54 AM

WHERE'S KIM!?

Posted by: someone on November 3, 2004 12:54 AM

TAKE THE MOTHERFUCKIN SIREN DOWN _ LEAD DWINDLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: fat kid on November 3, 2004 12:54 AM

Michigan's tighter than the virgin mary, remove the siren, i repeat, remove the siren!!!

Posted by: fat kid on November 3, 2004 12:55 AM

Sorry dude, I cracked the Tequilla about 3 hours ago when I heard the dweebs on NPR talking about how much the economy was hurting Bush in Florida. Apparently none of them have ever been there. Heh heh.

Posted by: Dacotti on November 3, 2004 12:59 AM

Hey fat kid, were conceding Michigan...its all over with Alaska and New Mexico!!

Posted by: Bugaha on November 3, 2004 12:59 AM

NBC just called Ohio for Bush. Tom Brokaw sounds heartbroken. He says it's "all but certain George W. Bush will be reelected."

HOW SWEET IT FUCKING IS.

Posted by: Jeff B. on November 3, 2004 01:01 AM

Re: that "Fat Lady"...
Well, I think I hear her crashing around back stage, lookin' for her helmet, shield and spear--wait a minute, I'M "behind the curtain"--or...is that inbound???

Posted by: Ignore the Man Behind the Curtain on November 3, 2004 01:13 AM

new player bonus - sign up now!

Posted by: PokerMaster on November 10, 2004 11:01 PM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Iran's Blockade of the Strait of Hormuz Is Destined to Fail [CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the obvious incompatibility of Islam with free societies, John Bolton is a disloyal sleaze, The SAVE Act is in the muck of Senate RINOs, the crappy quality of anti-American propaganda, and more!
Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade.
The Oscars: A celebration of thanking. Dave Barry nails it! [CBD]
TJM has some final thoughts on The Oscars before Sunday's telecast.
Ami Kozak: Every single Tucker Carlson episode consists of him claiming he didn't say the things he said in the last episode
Also: this is the manipulation Tucker does that i hate the most. It's so cowardly. All he does is smear people (and Jews, generally), and then claim "I have nothing against [the person or group I just smeared.]" He'll even claim "I love [x], actually." Just again and again and again. It's all a lie, of course. A year ago he smeared Jews but added how beautiful he thought Israel was, and then two weeks ago, he said Israel is ugly as dog-shit and nothing beautiful has been built there "since 1948."
Just got this email from Dracula: "I love Van Helsing, actually, he's one of my personal heroes, if I'm being honest. I will claw the heart out of his belly and bathe in his blood before the children of Babylon, but I have nothing but respect for Van Helsing, actually. Love is the answer. Except for the followers of the Christ whom I am commanded to turn into my dark army of Satan. And I totally don't worship Satan, I just think we should listen to both sides. Hugs and kisses, may Van Helsing burn in the blood-red fires of hell throughout eternity, even though I consider him a close and dear friend, Vlad called Dracul."
A beautiful tribute to Cardboard Ayatollah
Another tribute
New CPAC Treasured Guest Speaker drops
Putting that Ayatollah Standee to actual useful work
Trump: Look at me, I'm the Ayatollah, ennnnnnnyah"
No Allen wrench needed for once
Cardboard Ayatollah recognizes that meme!
Whooah, CPAC got him?!?!
He was hard to book, given all of his current commitments, but CPAC landed the man of the hour!
New CPAC speaker drops
Trump unveils a new White House portrait
Tucker, MTG, and Tom Massie have fun with their new cardboard bestie
Iran welcomes its most cogent, best version of the Ayatollah ever
Ana Navarro, on Abby Phillip's show: the terrorists attempted an attack on the Muslim Zohran Mamdani
The usually-reliable Batya-Ungar Sargon is claiming this was an innocent mistake by Abby Phillip but Phillip did not correct Navarro when she lied about the target of the attack.
TJM definitively ranks all the Best Picture winners.
Recent Comments
ShainS [/b][/i][/s][/u]: "I saw a report that CBC's viewership was down to l ..."

[/i][/i][/i][/s][/s][/s][/b][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor: "[i]FARA Fawcett Majors was pretty hot[/i] That ..."

Megyn Kelly: "Tucker, Tucker, Tucker! ..."

[/i][/i][/i][/s][/s][/s][/b][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor: "[i]I gotta admit, even I didn't have the right try ..."

Laser sharks wearing yarmulkes : "But was she right about the Jewish space lasers? ..."

TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films: "Below: It almost seems irrelevant to bring up Taqi ..."

Denny Crane - I'm Like Spock on This One!: "I can't lay off her until I lay on her. That's jus ..."

ShainS [/b][/i][/s][/u]: "EndWokeness Joy Reid: America is a Christian fo ..."

steevy: "What "fiasco"? ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo [/b][/i]: "FARA Fawcett Majors was pretty hot ..."

LinusVanPelt: "I don’t think MTG is a grifter. I think she& ..."

[/i][/i][/i][/s][/s][/s][/b][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor: "I am extremely skeptical of anything Axios publish ..."

Bloggers in Arms

RI Red's Blog!
Behind The Black
CutJibNewsletter
The Pipeline
Second City Cop
Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon
Belmont Club
Chicago Boyz
Cold Fury
Da Goddess
Daily Pundit
Dawn Eden
Day by Day (Cartoon)
EduWonk
Enter Stage Right
The Epoch Times
Grim's Hall
Victor Davis Hanson
Hugh Hewitt
IMAO
Instapundit
JihadWatch
Kausfiles
Lileks/The Bleat
Memeorandum (Metablog)
Outside the Beltway
Patterico's Pontifications
The People's Cube
Powerline
RedState
Reliapundit
Viking Pundit
WizBang
Some Humorous Asides
Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.


The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon


A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates


Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree


Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility


The Dowd-O-Matic!


The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Archives
Syndicate this site (XML)

Powered by
Movable Type 2.64