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Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more!

Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection.
This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday

Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.

1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show.
She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.

Tim Curry, actor, butler, evil space clown and gay space vampire, and judge on American Duos, dies at age 80 after poor health due to a stroke in 2012

Dolly Parton: Stairway To Heaven
[CBD]

Dolly Parton Dies at 80
[CBD]

TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively

Candace Owens joins the Scooby Gang

An Inappropriate Use of the Song "Holiday Road"
Another inappropriate use

Tuq'r Qarlson: "I never mention Ben Shapiro because I don't think about him." Status: FALSE.

This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]

Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."

Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope!

Google finally gets one right

Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit.
Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?)
I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones.

Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more!

Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation)

Via Archimedes:

Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter

Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

Recent Comments

NaCly Dog: "Nooded. ..."

Don Black: "Present ..."

r hennigantx: "HaPPY fRIDAY ..."

San Franpsycho: "I'm just here for the twirling. ..."

Skip: "Good morning JJ and horde ..."

ychlwwrq: "Countriies tuat recognize same sex marriageForfced ..."

[/b][/i][/u][/s]I used to have a different nic: "Good morning horde! Happy Friday! ..."

NaCly Dog: "J.J. Runway 270. ..."

NaCly Dog: "Good morning! Let's smile & be happy & strike ..."

Anna Puma: "I thought the Left would be aghast at dead naming ..."

NaCly Dog: "Hillary Clinton You fought hard for DSA and the ..."

I gotta ask : "Is the lake formerly known as Ontario now a US ter ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries The Morning Report — 8/ 28 /26 Daily Tech News 28 August 2026 Thursday Overnight Open Thread - August 27, 2026 Mouthy Puppies Cafe Democrats Begin to Worry About Going All-In on the Great Male Hope Hasan Piker Police Raid Home of Ilhan Omar's Son, Seizing Guns from His Roommate AGs from Iowa and Montana Petition Supreme Court to End California's Left-Wing Extortion of Skydance, as the Left Conspire to Force Them to Sell CNN and HBO So That the Left Can Keep Their Propganda Outlets Communist Candada's National Broadcaster CBC: Do Not Call the 9/11 Attack "Terrorism" On the Fifth Anniversary of the Disasterous Biden Bug-Out of Kabul, Pete Hegseth Upgrades the Honors for Three Heroes of Abbey Gate Exclusive Hamptons Club Cancels Restaurant Service After Illegal Immigrant Staff is Deported ICE Deports a Record Number of Illegals Over the Summer Absent Friends Captain Whitebread 2026 Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« More Foreign Leaders for Kerry \| Main \| Hiring Picks Up in October » October 31, 2004 Bush Picks Up Two Key Endorsements: Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long When JB read the stat that said whenever the Redskins lose before the election, the incumbent loses, Bradshaw began saying "Say it ain't so" while Long said "Ain't gonna happen." Blaster Says Don't Worry About the Redskins Losing: "With the Sox winning, all sports predictors and curses are now null and void." That sounds pretty good to me. posted by Ace at 05:36 PM Comments I think the Football Gods will exact their retribution for "Lambert Field" They are toying with him... Posted by: Jennifer on October 31, 2004 05:40 PM Schilling, Bradshaw, Long, most of NASCAR... Why is it the jocks are for Bush? I'm starting to believe that "Team America" speech. Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on October 31, 2004 06:38 PM With the Sox winning, all sports predictors and curses are now null and void. Everything changed after 9/11. Posted by: blaster on October 31, 2004 06:39 PM There was also a Monday Night Football game, very early in the season, in Foxboro, that had an exchange like this: Madden (commenting on a play): That's what you call a flip-flop. Michaels: You're in the right state for that. Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on October 31, 2004 06:40 PM Jocks are for Bush because they know there is no easy way to win but through concerted effort ... marrying a rich woman doesn't get you much on the field ... Bush is in the fight and willing to takes risks that Kerry and many liberals are not willing to take. Posted by: p on October 31, 2004 06:56 PM Blaster is right. There is no way under normal circumstances a guy as fiercly competitive as the Babe would allow his curse to fall to #2 to the cubbies!Something else is going on, so all sports predictors are out the window. "Stay on Target!" Posted by: Iblis on October 31, 2004 06:57 PM AC/DC also wrote "Giving the Dog a Bone." This might not be the most ineffective song, but it is surely one of the most tasteless. Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love" with its thrusting guitar riff is quite tasteless, too. These might work with the "right" woman, though. There is no "right" woman for Lee Greenwood's song, however. Posted by: Ronald Ryan on October 31, 2004 08:19 PM I must've missed that bit today, but that's great news. Then again, it is Fox. It's nearly enough to make me forgive Howie for "Firestorm" and those insufferable Radio Shack commercials. Terry's a god among men, however. Cheers, Dave Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on October 31, 2004 08:27 PM Also the Patriots winning streak was finally brought to an end today, signaling that this is indeed the year in which past trends/streaks do not matter. Posted by: Cpl. Menno on October 31, 2004 10:22 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more! Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut" What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath. 1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class" Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference. Tim Curry, actor, butler, evil space clown and gay space vampire, and judge on American Duos, dies at age 80 after poor health due to a stroke in 2012 Dolly Parton: Stairway To Heaven [CBD] Dolly Parton Dies at 80 [CBD] TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively Candace Owens joins the Scooby Gang An Inappropriate Use of the Song "Holiday Road" Another inappropriate use Tuq'r Qarlson: "I never mention Ben Shapiro because I don't think about him." Status: FALSE. This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD] Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution "All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb." Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope! Google finally gets one right Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real." Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure. TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones. Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more! Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation) Via Archimedes: *Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter* Chocolate Cherry Cordial You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate. Caramel Chew There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal. More at this ineffable link Recent Comments NaCly Dog: "Nooded. ..." Don Black: "Present ..." r hennigantx: "HaPPY fRIDAY ..." San Franpsycho: "I'm just here for the twirling. ..." Skip: "Good morning JJ and horde ..." ychlwwrq: "Countriies tuat recognize same sex marriageForfced ..." [/b][/i][/u][/s]I used to have a different nic: "Good morning horde! Happy Friday! ..." NaCly Dog: "J.J. Runway 270. ..." NaCly Dog: "Good morning! Let's smile & be happy & strike ..." Anna Puma: "I thought the Left would be aghast at dead naming ..." NaCly Dog: "Hillary Clinton You fought hard for DSA and the ..." I gotta ask : "Is the lake formerly known as Ontario now a US ter ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! 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A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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Bush Picks Up Two Key Endorsements: Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long