How about the National Anthem? hahah

I would think "The Chicken Dance" and "Achy Breaky Heart" are also rather passion nullifying... I shall ponder more.

A funny but true anecdote for you...

Back in late 80's, my girlfriend decided while we were slow dancing that the Def Leppard song "Love Stinks" was "our song."

Needless to say, this would be my nomination...

Doesn't Allentown also include the line "I won't be getting up today"?

Highway to Hell has a certain blunt ring to it

actually...anything from AC/DC

Of course, there's always Copacabana.

How about "Tiptoe through the Tulips" or "Who Let the Dogs Out"?

"Jesus loves Me"

Smack my Bitch Up?

Ironically a mix using that song was playing the first time my husband and I went clubbing. We joke it is our song. Funny shit.

"One" by Metallica
"That Smell" by Lynard Skynard
"Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix

Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"

It's a great song, and of course all about making out, but there's that moral at the end that kills any heat that might have been generated by the first 23 minutes.

Plus the sound of Phil Rizzuto's voice definitely puts a damper on things.

I nominate "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead. Lyrics include references to unborn chickens and vomit.

Jim B.-

Not to be a dick but it was probably either "Love Stinks" by J. Geils Band or "Love Bites" by Def Leppard. Either way, I agree bad choice.

I'd vote for "Sanitarium" by Metallica or any song invloving heroin such as "Hurt" by NIN/Johnny Cash or "Heroin" by VU. Unless of course you're both on heroin, then I guess it fits.

Joe Jackson's "Is She Really Going Out With Him" raises altogether too many uncomfortable questions if you're in the middle of a lip-lock.

Ode to Billie Joe comes to mind. Or The Night Chicago Died.

I GOT IT!!!-- NOTHING COULD BE WORSE THAN "THE CRYING GAME"!!!

"Beds Are Burning" by Midnight Oil. Nothing like elitist sitting-around-the-bong guilt feelings to squash the mood. Especially for those who are Catholic. Bonus points for the lead singer's Zombie Look.

I know I'm dating myself, here, but 'Tainted Love' or 'Don't You Want Me, Baby' have to be right up there. My first and second summers on my own was sort of defined by my hatred of those two songs. Bad make-out songs, in fact, dreadful.

Tori Amos songs would probably put a damper on things, too.

I am woman - Helen Reddy. Er, maybe unless you're both women.

"All by Myself" by some douchebag.

Gosh, the privileges of old age: "Muskrat Love" has got to be the worst make-out song ever. Why on earth was this song even written, much less released? No wonder I hated the seventies (and incidentally probably why I never dated anyone until I was out of high school) -- it was full of people who thought that love between two smelly rodents could symbolize romance.

What about "Muskrat Love"? That wiggly keyboard thing in the middle of the song always made me tighten up like nails on a chalkboard.

Andrea, you beat me to it!

"Yes We Have No Bananas"

"The Rainbow Connection" by Kermit the Frog
"Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel" church hymnal
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by A. Franklin?

Dianna

Tainted Love?

No way!

I would put that song on my all-time Best list.

But back to Ace's query, the worst...

I think it may be Hey Ricky! (You're So Fine).

Blech!

I can think of a few: Forced to Die by As I lay Dying

Whoever said the national anthem - good call - lol

Or, My heart bleeds the darkest blood by Shai Hulud - any song that opens with someone screaming "I HAVE TO LET YOU DIE!!!!..." isn't what I'd call a panty-dropper.

My final suggestion is ANY speedmetal.

Heh.

So, I'm realizing that you're not gonna get the "full effect" of those songs without listening to them. So, if interested, they're available for DL over at my blog.

P.S. Another funny one would be "Tonight we're gonna give it 35%" by Against Me

It's the End of the World As We Know it (And I Feel Fine)

REM

You people are all wrong. Elvira is the flat out worst song ever created.

On the other hand anything by Journey works well. Am I right men? Journey=Sex.

If'n you are going to start with Billy, you should finish with Billy. "Pressure" is quite possibly the worst make-out song ever.

"Guilty feet ain't got no rhythm........"

I would think AC/DC's "Kicked in the Teeth" would qualify. The first line is, "Two-faced woman with your two-faced lies, I hope your two-faced living's kept you satisfied"

I've got a couple.

Mr. Roboto by Styx, and

(It's No Fun Being an) Illegal Alien by Genesis.

On the other hand anything by Journey works well. Am I right men? Journey=Sex

Not for me. Journey to me equals, maybe, gay sex.

I'd recommend anything by Cradle of Filth, but then again I can't understand any of the words, so for all I know they could be tender love anthems.

So how's about Wynonna's Big Brown Beaver?

The soundtrack from Apocalypse Now.

Sadly, I speak from personal experience on that one . . .

And hey, I always kind of liked Billy Joel.

Chris,

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Diana Ross and the Supremes? PERFECT makeout song. "I'll be there in a hurry." "No wind, no rain, or winter storm can stop me, baby, if you're my goal." "Nothing can keep me from you." Plus many Diana Ross "whoos" and "uh-huhs."

Maybe you had to be there.

Candidate for the worst one (for makeout purposes, only): George Jones, "He Stopped Loving Her Today."

Ray Parker Junior, Ghostbusters.

Hard song to have sex to.

The Lady in Red, Chris DeBurgh.

Worst by far: 22 going on 23

From the Butthole Surfers album Locust Abortion Technician.

How can you make out when you are listening to a woman on talk radio discussing when she was "assulted sexually"?

How about the theme from Mission Impossible?

She Wore Red Dresses, by Dwight Yoakam. Brrr.

God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. Giggle time.

Wings of a Dove, by Ferlin Husky (all waltz time is pretty bad);

Indian Love Call, by Slim Whitman. If she's matian, her head will a-splode;

She Got Love All Over Me, by Razzy Bailey. (This one could work if you are making out in the sleeper of a Peterbilt behind a Texaco.)

Dueling Banjos, (from Deliverance) unless...well, never mind.

Home by the Sea by Genesis.
Get a Job by Outcast.
Close My Eyes Forever by Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford (A very touching song about committing suicide.)
...and my favorite...
The Lap Dance is Better when the Stripper is Crying by The Bloodhound Gang.

"War" by Edwin Starr. (I once saw an episode of some sitcom in which a chick was trying to put her boyfriend in a make-out mood, and he kept missing her hints. At one point, she brought him to a karaoke bar to sing a duet; he picked that as the song.)

Worst make-out song?

I got two words for y'all.

Yoko Ono

You do the math.

And then there's this...

Boris the Spider

Unless you're John Enthwistle, or Mrs. John Enthwistle, there will be no action with this tune playing in the background.

Or how about this non-starter, or deal-ender,

We Didn't Start the Fire

Um, yeah.

I have to agree muskrat love is the worst because my girlfriend actually made me BUY tickets to see the Captain and Tenille LIVE in College Station.

MeTooThen;

FWIW, I think you might be referring to "Mickey" by Toni Basil (it's like a cheerleading song, almost).

Although, if I recall correctly, Weird Al did do a parody of 'Mickey', titled 'Ricky', with Lucy and Ricky (of "I Love Lucy") as the main characters.

So you could be right...

Anything by Frank Zappa. (Kinda hard to make out to Broken Hearts are for Assholes)

The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot.

Jethro Tull, Aqualung

Anything by Devo. Especially Whip It.

"I Used To Love Her, But I Had To Kill Her," by Guns & Roses.

True story: back in high school, I sent a tape of that song to a girl who wouldn't go out with me. Her mother urged her to slap a restraining order on me.

Surprisingly, over fifteen years later, that girl is one of my best friends.

The moral? Sometimes childhood stupidity is only stupid, and nothing worse. Unless it involves trenchcoats and gunfire, of course.

Cheers,
Dave

Weekend DJ

LOL!

You're right, twice!

I combined them!

Xoxotl

I guess it depends.

There is, after all, a lot of Zappa (and the Mothers)

Hot Rats is pretty hot. Now on CD. Put it on and...

And lastly, George,

Gotta disagree.

My girfriend in college (back in the day, sadly twenty years ago) really liked Devo.

Really.

We're Through Being Cool

Satisfaction

Both got me lots of love.

You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette. Who among us is strong enough to put the moves on while listening to:

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

I challenge the readers of this blog to come up with a worse make-out song than that...

I forget who the band is, but I'd vote for "She Fuckin' Hates Me."

Puddle of Mudd, Patti. Great song.

Carl,

I disagree on that one. I likes me some of that.

"Jethro Tull, Aqualung"

Oh yeah. Not a sexy song. The pedophilia's bad, but the flutes...

""War" by Edwin Starr."

Stumbo, I was thinking about naming that one along with Allentown. I decided to just go with the single-bullet for clarity.

At least War has some grunting in it.

Pac Man Fever would be, I don't know. Not really appropriate.

Well... maybe.

"Jethro Tull, Aqualung" Oh yeah. Not a sexy song. The pedophilia's bad, but the flutes...

and toss in the whole grimy vagrant wheezing with advanced lung disease that makes him sound like he's breathing with scuba equipment ... nothing spells hot lovin' like lung disease, am I right?

Ben Folds Five, Brick

Bigger mood killer: lung disease or abortion?

lung disease.

"A Better Man" by Pearl Jam. "She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man"

The absolutely worst venue I ever heard this was at a wedding reception (I was catering, not a guest, so have no idea if the couple were just such huge Pearl Jam fans that they were oblivious to the lyrics, or whether it meant...something else. That was four years ago. Wonder what happened to them, anyway?)

'Sink the Pink' AC/DC
'Slide it In' Whitesnake,
'Wang Dang Sweet Poontang' Ted Nugent
'Hell Awaits' Slayer
or
'Talk Dirty to Me' Poison

"Timothy" by the Buoys

Nothing like cannibalism to get the mojo working!

Here's a sleeper:

"I'm not in love" by 10CC

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham

It's Raining Men, the Weathergirls

Again, not usually appropriate. I suppose it's okay if you're, you know, like that.

What's wrong with "It's Raining Men"???

Honey, if you're with a guy who wants to hear It's Rainin' Men when he's with you, you might have a problem on your hands.

It's a tad sexist to assume that he'll be the one picking out the music.

Um, please. First of all, the only thing a chick ever wants to put on is Moondance or Son of a Preacher Man.

Besides, even if you pick out It's Rainin' Men, if he goes along with it, you've got a problem.

Personally, I can't take Moondance. It's goofy. And it reminds me of The Wicker Man, which I don't need.

Oh please yourself. Like any guy would be put out about the freaking soundtrack:

"If you insist on playing Wham, we're not having sex. That's all there is to it."

It. Would. Never. Happen.

Although a friend of mine just told me about a guy who stopped to flip the cassette over. Not a good sign.

Let's see, how about, "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka? That song stinks under any circumstances, but it would certainly put the kabosh on a make-out session for obvious reasons.

And for some reason the theme to Jeopardy comes to mind...

Later,
bbeck

Anything by Danzig or the Pet Shop Boys.

"She's Havin' My Baby" by Paul Anka ... 'nuff said.

Oops bbeck, I didn't see your post. Consider mine a strong second to your nomination.

Or maybe "It's a Small World" from the Disneyland ride? Try to get THAT sucker out of your head!

Todd Rundgren's S-L-U-T. This tune's a deal-killer, to say the least.

All By Myself - Eric Carmen

Time Passages - Al Stewart

Blinded By The Light - Manfred Mann's el lamo version

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me - Sir Elton John

Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' - Journey

Anything from Paradise Theater

Afternoon Delight - Starlight Vocal Band

All Out of Love - Air Supply

Just When I Needed You Most - Randy Van Warmer

Beth - Kiss

Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind - The Lovin' Spoonful

However, if you really wanna make-out - you know it's all Sade, all the time, ba-bah!!!

I've got a couple related entires:

"Mr. Tamborine Man" and "Lucy in the Shy with Diamonds" by William Shatner from the "Transformed Man" album

or

Leonard Nimoy's Bilbo Baggins song.

You'll either flee the room in terror, or be laughing too hard to do anything else.

I've got a couple related entires:

"Mr. Tamborine Man" and "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by William Shatner from the "Transformed Man" album

or

Leonard Nimoy's Bilbo Baggins song.

You'll either flee the room in terror, or be laughing too hard to do anything else.

Unless your paramour is a black-eyelinered, torn-fishnets bundle of Gothic angst (of either sex), I would say that just about anything by Portishead would put the kibosh on things.

"Graveyard Train" by CCR is also not conducive, in my view, to sweet, sweet lovin'.

"Torn Between Two Lovers"

Performed by Mary MacGregor
Words and Music by Peter Yarrow and Phil Jarrel

"Party at the Leper Colony" by Wierd Al.

Mike G, it's cool. Great minds think alike.

As for "It's a Small World..." er, I don't know about you, but I DEFINITELY wouldn't want to hear "small" in that situation...

Later,
bbeck

"Muskrat Love" by Captain and Tennile; what a horrible song...

-Papa Dont Preach.
-Possum Kingdom by the Toadies (actually any song about murdering a girl and burying her in a swamp)

Perhaps not recommended for a first date:
Gentleman Afghan Whigs
Tales From Topograhic Oceans Yes
Tonight's the Night Neil Young
Down by the River Neil Young
Rosegarden Bauhaus
Wardance Killing Joke
Pearle Trip Shakespeare
Cracked Actor David Bowie

A supermodel could play this and I'd get up and walk out:
Seasons in the Sun Terry Jacks

Macarthur Park Richard Harris. The beginning might make you think that it's going to be a by-the-numbers ballad but as soon as it starts in on the "cake left out in the rain" any passionate clinch will surely dissolve into a fit of the giggles. No embrace can survive the key changes, the ridiculous upbeat double tempo bit two thirds through or the overwrought caterwauling in this dastardly hybrid of acid lunacy and fiddly prog-rock bombast.

The only line to ring true is the oft repeated "I don't think that I can take it". If you can take it you're made of sterner stuff than I.

owww--what painful memories. The foundation was laid (o-never-mind) here for the soundtrack from hell. The threat of eternity in an elevator with a Muzak rendition of Seasons in the Sun and Alone Again, Naturally. . . Or any Muzak, for that matter. Here's a contender for the all-time, pack-it-in mood-ender for a whole slew of reasons: "I don't want to have to marry you." On the other hand, shared uncontrollable fits of hilarity can be bonding. . .

The Filmore Eat Alblum esspecially "Bwana Dik"

David Gillies:
Portishead a bad move?
I think not.
Possibly because I'm not averse to black-eyeliner and fishnets.
(Worn by the girl dammit, worn by the girl.)

Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

"Relax... don't do it when you..."

Reunited by Peaches and Herb. So sicky-sweet it'll make your teeth hurt.

Oh, and on the other end of the spectrum:

Prison Sex by Tool.

I definately think that the worst possible song would be....."All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..Christmas Eve..parents thinking they are alone with that song on in my little brothers room. AHHHH THE HORROR!

I would have to say Albuquerque by Weird Al. Theres to real beat to "get lost in" and its very random and quite funny when you're with someone and its hard and dangerous to kiss and laugh at the same time. And its 12 minutes long.

Or any song that she likes.