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October 29, 2004
Fundraising Update-- And Thanks!Note: This post was made sticky-- accidentally, actually, and it seems to be staying at the top of the queue, for reasons I don't quite get. There are new posts coming in below, though. Alas, the fundraising drive continues, but I have to say I am extraodinarily grateful for everyone's response so far. I got a little behind on thank-you notes -- yahoo has this strange tendency to occasionally post new messages back three or four pages into the queue, plus a lot of people donated -- but, until I do write you a letter of appreciation, let me say thank you, as a general matter. A couple of donors aren't getting a thank you right away, because their email screener keep bouncing my attempts to them. I have to ask permission to respond. But I'll do that. Time for another pitch. A humorous one, I hope. Okay, so I'm getting around 10,000 unique visitors per day on my good week days, without Instalanches or the like. So, I figure, if everyone just sent along $1 -- just a buck -- that would be $10,000, and I then I could quit my job trying to sell real estate. And man, do I want to. My office is like Glengarry Glen Ross, but without all the human warmth. But let's think bigger. If everyone sent me $10, that would be $100,000 -- pretty sweet, huh? -- and I could laugh at Andrew Sullivan. Nice. But why stop there? I know this is sorta crazy, but bear with me. If everyone took out a mortgage on their home and/or sold their cars and some applicances they don't use much anyway (such as their computers, televisions, and lighting), and then sent me ten thousand dollars each, that would be a haul of $10 MILLION dollars. Okay, I know what you're thinking. That sounds a little steep. But think about it-- how cool would it be to be a part of something that enormous? It would be like being present at the Wright's flight at Kitty Hawk, except, you know, it would cost you ten grand. It would be somethin' to tell your grandkids, at least. And I guess you'd need that kind of a story, because you'd have to explain why you pissed away their college fund on a stupid blog about D&D and Whitesnake. So, you know, it would be win-win-win all around. Except for the grandkids. But college is sort of overrated anyway. Just buy them a bunch of books and some pot and let them live without supervision for four years in some sort of pansexual version of Lord of the Flies and bang, a college education on the cheap. Plus, they'll be grateful that they never had to read fucking Beowulf. Anyway, though, I'm very grateful. As I've said to several of you in my emails, this is a pretty dorky hobby, and when someone seems to like what I'm doing enough to suppor the site, it makes it all feel a lot less dorky and something approaching worthwhile. Update: TV (or AV), sorry, your email screener will not let me respond nor even request that you allow me to respond. So, let me say here, thank you very much. A subscription to Juggs magazine! Now that was indeed a thoughtful donation. How on earth did you know my subscription was running out? posted by Ace at 12:09 PM
CommentsI don't want to appear selfish, but if we give the 10 grand, any chance of a photo op with you to show my grand kids I helped make ace a millionaire? Posted by: DelphiGuy on October 29, 2004 11:50 AM
Um, yeah, I think I could see my way clear to arrange that small favor. Posted by: ace on October 29, 2004 11:52 AM
Finally Pay Pal works! There you go Ace, just so you know I didn't welch on my promise a couple days ago. As a former EngLit major I have to say this: Beowulf rocks. Posted by: dano on October 29, 2004 12:13 PM
Ummmm... yeah... Beowulf "rocks."
Posted by: ace on October 29, 2004 12:15 PM
Beowulf changed my life. Don't diss Beowulf. Even today, when I'm totally stressed and don't know what to do, I find that 90% of the time, ripping someone's arm off is the best course of action. Also from Beowulf comes the important maxim to live your life by; "It ain't braggin' if its true." Been 20 years since I read that...in high school. I can't believe it. Posted by: lauraw on October 29, 2004 12:20 PM
Be serious. Next you guys are going to tell me you really, really thought the "ribald jokes" in Canterbury Tales were a scream. Posted by: ace on October 29, 2004 12:42 PM
"Be serious." No, no, really. I have dismembered arms stacked up like cordwood behind my house. Posted by: lauraw on October 29, 2004 01:08 PM
Are you kidding? I couldn't wait to read Canterbury Tales in school. It was one of those things you looked forward to, like those Highway Patrol films in Drivers Ed. Posted by: Donnah on October 29, 2004 08:08 PM
Hi Ace, Posted by: KimR on October 30, 2004 05:23 PM
Post a comment
| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Funny retro kid costumes, thanks to SMH
Good to see people honoring Lamont the Big Dummy
Four hours of retro Halloween commercials and specials
The first short is the original 1996 appearance of "Sam," the dangerous undead trick-or-treater from Trick r' Treat.
ICYMI: Australian journalist actually presses Kamala Harris when she repeatedly dodges questions about Biden's mental fitness
Kamala admits she didn't have the stamina to run for president, while continuing to insist he had the mental capacity to serve as president. He was too frail to run but perfectly strong enough to govern. Yeah sure whatever lying whore.
We're setting our clocks back on late Saturday night/early Sunday morning at 2am. We'll get an extra hour of sleep, but we'll lose an hour of late-day light (in exchange for more light in the early morning. Also, on Wednesday, we'll see the "Beaver Super-Moon." Which sounds hot.
Full Episode: The Hardy Boys (and Nancy Drew) Meet Dracula
I don't remember this show, except for remembering that Nancy Drew was hot and the opening credits were foreboding and exicting
According to Grok, Latrine John-Pissoir has never failed to mention she is "black" (or "queer") during her book interviews
She may not know what the hell her book is about, but she definitely knows that "every day I wake up black and queer." Join the club, sister!
Schmoll: 53% of New Jersey likely voters say their neighbors are voting for Ciattarelli, while 47% say the cheater/grifter Mikie Sherrill
The "who do you think your neighbors are voting for" question is designed to avoid the Shy Tory problem, wherein conservative people lie to schmollsters because they don't want to go on record with a likely left-winger telling them who they're really voting for. So instead the question is who do you think your neighbors are voting for, so people can talk about who they themselves support without actually having to admit it to a left-wing rando stranger recording their answers on the phone.
Hackers take over University of Penn website, calling the school a "dogshit elitist institution full of woke retards" and threatening to release its admissions files to prove illegal racial discrimination
No lies detected so far
TJM Complains about Wreck-It Ralph
The very topical premiere of TJM's YouTube Channel.
Interesting football history: How the forward pass was created in response to the nineteen -- 19! -- people killed playing football in 1905 alone
The original rules of football did not allow forward passes. The ball was primarily advanced by running, with blockers forming lines with interlocked arms and just smashing into the similarly-interlocked defensive lines. It was basically Greek hoplite spear formations but with a semi-spherical ball. As calls to ban the sport entirely grew, some looked for ways to de-emphasize mass charges as the primary means of advancing the ball, and some specifically championed allowing a passer to throw the ball forward.
1977 ABC Afterschool Special: "The Pinballs," starring Kristy McNichol
Garrett told me this film changed his life.
Sydney Sweeney unleashes the silver orbs
Thanks to @PatriarchTree Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.-- G.K. Chesterton [CBD]
Latrine John-Pissoir can't explain her book -- an Inside Look at a Broken White House, but she says she means the Trump White House, which she had no inside look at -- even to friendly leftwing media interviewers
Speaking as a black woman and black LGBT woman and black immigrant... Bonus points all day on Tuesday to anyone who begins all of his or her posts with "Speaking as a black LGBT woman..."
Atari to release former competitor Intellivision with 45 games for $149
I always thought Intellivision was kinda lame (to the extent a cutting edge videogame box can be lame). Intellivision insists upon itself. Pitfall was a really good game. I don't know if it was available on Intellivision. Update: It was. But I don't know if it's included in the new unit.
Terrorist-aligned AP: "Reporter describes shock at witnessing East Wing's demolition"
White House press corps: "SO TRUMP CAN DEMOLISH ANYTHING HE WANTS TO?!?!" Yes. Thank you for acknowledging that. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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