Hell, I live in California, so I know my vote doesn't really count for anything, but I'm voting anyway because it's just gonna feel so effing good.

By the way, good job of scaring the piss out of me with that photo! I literally had to run to the bathroom, where I found that my pubes had turned white. Thanks. But on the plus side, I think I've discovered a new explanation for the Moai statues of Easter Island.

Remind me again, please: you posted a close-up shot of the obnoxious lard 'tard "Rerun" from the old TV sitcom What's Happening with this particular entry because...? :)

That was hysterically funny!!

What to bring since I'm voting absentee?

Along the lines of "prepare", folks in California really need a list of Propositions handy with which way to vote.

This requires some effort beforehand, which, if you must know, I haven't done yet...So...Do as I say, not as I do (so far).

I would say, "Get Arnie's recom. and follow that". But, I really need to look into the stem cell Prop and see what it entails. And AH-nold is starting to sound a little more RINO, recently. Hey, fUck you. He's still better than Gray Davis.

Dear Johns--

Well, vote you some no on Prop 66 in California. Go check out Patterico.com to find out why. And XRLQ.com as well.

For voting in California--especially NorCal-- you'll need some sort of hippie repellent. Although "hippie" and "repellent" seem redundant, they are not. I prefer one of the fine hippie repellent products made by Colt; your mileage may vary.

I live in a heavily Democratic county. My favorite time to vote is during the primaries. I love going into the polls and asking for a Republican ballot. The poll workers all know me and they give me a look that can only be described as one questioning whether my parents were really married.

It kinda gets me a little excited to know that I irritate them that much.

I used to vote on West 97th street in Manhattan. We were always blessed with the presence of Pizza the Hut (Nadler) and the dignified if hapless Carl McCall. And after I left the booth--every single time--a poll worker would walk around to the back of the booth and grab some papers from back there and trash them. Every time.

Of course, I look just like Hoover in Animal House, so I guess it was pretty obvious I wasn't voting the straight Angry Chick Workers ticket.

Bergen County's much better. We can tell the Democrats by their pitiful cars, and we point at them and laugh.

One crisp ten (10) dollar bill, which you can discretely slip to a poll-worker as you encourage her to "Keep it honest"

Especially if you're voting in precinct 19-F in Columbus, OH.(hint- look for the devastatingly handsome dude in a Steeler's jersey)

The problem with my Tron costume is that it designed to look "cool" only under a black light, and they have very few black lights at polling places these days.

(If you know what my costume looks like on this description alone, then I count you as my brother.)

Question for Ace: Would a Qui-Gon Jinn outfit be an acceptable substitute? Before you answer, consider the fact that I have one of those light sabers from 1982 that is basically just a flashlight with an inflatable green plastic "blade" on one end.

Sean, don't you dare think your vote won't count. On election night, when a shocked and stunned Dan Blather announces New Jersey's gone red, killing any hope John Kerry has of ever living in the White House, millions of Californians will leave the line at the polling place and go home in despair. We'll need your vote right then, because it'll be close in California. The only thing sweeter than victory on January 20th will be undeniable victory on November 3rd instead of 34 days later. Dare to believe.

Four six-sided dice, because you never know when some ultra-hot busty blonde is going to ask you to "roll up a character"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If I have a letter from John Le Carre, do I still need ID?

Ace, you have failed to address the absentee ballot issue comprehensively.

For example, both of my dogs are registered to vote and are currently agonizing over their ballots.
They seem to be leaning toward Nader. They suggest he is the furriest of the three candidates. They say his proud snout bespeaks a being of great character; plus they think he may be hiding a tail.

My question; is it voter fraud if I have them put to sleep AFTER we turn in the ballots, but BEFORE the votes are actually counted?

How many times am I supposed to vote again?
/channeling the DNC

Ace,

I have discovered long hidden information that must be shared. The origins of the beast. The beast otherwise known as Chubby McThunderbuns.

I give thee....the truth.

http://www.mentalsewage.com/loser/14.html

I guess I wore a lucky shirt yesterday and gave my wife $ to "keep it honest," because yesterday was election day in my house. Oregon's all vote by mail. Mostly R's (there was one who got a "C" from the NRA that I held my nose to vote for, and a few races without an R running), but I have done my civic duty.

And remember Ace, to remind everyone to vote for any right wing initiatives on the ballot, too.

Have you SEEN the shit-fest btw Instapundit/Buzzmachine and that shit-weasel otherwise known as FatBoyWillis? LOL - why do I get the impression that Jeff and Glenn are trying to have a conversation and Willis is just trying to siphon bandwidth - and how the fuck is he getting recognized by Glenn anyway? Seriously.

Jeez, what a thing to see over your morning coffee. That picture of Oh-Dub should've been below the fold. He looks like one of those freaky Easter Island Moai heads.

Goddamn it, Ace, did you really have to post that picture. I was eating breakfast (WAS, being the operative word).

Well I live in NYC too, and have no problems voting a straight Evil ticket. I don't know, it just seems right for some reason.

"some queer "Up With People" button or shit like that" - LOL- That's why I keep coming back for more: you cut all the way to the bone.

@ see-dubya...

Best. Post. Evaah!

Thanks Ace, great checklist!

It's SPECTRE!

"Sean, don't you dare think your vote won't count...."

Nobody should think their vote won't count. It matters more then ever! Don't trust the polls; don't be like the people in Florida who went home without voting after the state was falsely called. Don't assume your state will go for Bush without you. We don't just need to win by a legitimite margin... we need to win by enough to overcome the "dead" vote, and as much as possible, neuter the attempts to contest close races.

...And we need to win the popular vote, not just the Electorial College. Because the garbage directed at Bush the last 4 years isn't going to go away; it may get worse. The bigger and more obvious the win the less excuse they will have.

Vote!