Alan Keyes: Nuttier Than a Snickers Bar

Let me get this straight: the Illinois Republican Party ditched Jack Ryan, who's biggest sin was allegedly trying to get actress Jeri Ryan to engage in some semi-public sex, in favor of Alan Keyes.

Because, you know, Jack Ryan would have been killed at the polls. Would have hurt the Illinois Republican party, set it back 50 years.

Good thing we cut our losses when we had the chance:

U.S. Senate candidate Alan Keyes told a rally Saturday that incest was "inevitable" for children raised by gay couples because the children might not know both biological parents.

"If we do not know who the mother is, who the father is, without knowing all the brothers and sisters, incest becomes inevitable," Keyes told the Marquette Park rally held to oppose same-sex marriages.

"Whether they mean it or not, that is what will happen. If you are masked from your knowing your biological parents, you are in danger of encountering brothers and sisters you have no knowledge of."

I think there are bona fide reasons to be favor straight parents over gay ones, but isn't this reason a bit, um, insane?

Yes, it could happen.

But this can happen with any adopted child, or any child conceived from donor sperm (or donor eggs).

I think Republicans are so desperate for black allies -- both to have some black political support and to disprove the endless charges of racism -- that we're sometimes easily taken in by a hustler. Alan Keyes is a hustler, and a pretty nutty one at that.

If I never again hear the words "Ambassador Keyes" after November 2004, I'll be a happy man.

I guess I should mention where I got this link from. Nah. Let's say I got it from someone who seems overly fond of Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. But I seem to remember posting a trailer for the Batman movie some time ago (gotten from Jim Treacher, duly credited), and then it mysteriously appeared on Filet-O-Fish's site an hour later, without credit to anyone.

And I know Filet-O-Fish checks in periodically.

So, you know, fuck him. Fuck him right up his ass.

Not in a gay way, of course.

Like a Viking.