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| Instapundit Launches Denial-of-Traffic (DoT) Attack on Filet-O-Fish »
October 19, 2004
Alan Keyes: Nuttier Than a Snickers BarLet me get this straight: the Illinois Republican Party ditched Jack Ryan, who's biggest sin was allegedly trying to get actress Jeri Ryan to engage in some semi-public sex, in favor of Alan Keyes. Because, you know, Jack Ryan would have been killed at the polls. Would have hurt the Illinois Republican party, set it back 50 years. Good thing we cut our losses when we had the chance: U.S. Senate candidate Alan Keyes told a rally Saturday that incest was "inevitable" for children raised by gay couples because the children might not know both biological parents. I think there are bona fide reasons to be favor straight parents over gay ones, but isn't this reason a bit, um, insane? Yes, it could happen. But this can happen with any adopted child, or any child conceived from donor sperm (or donor eggs). I think Republicans are so desperate for black allies -- both to have some black political support and to disprove the endless charges of racism -- that we're sometimes easily taken in by a hustler. Alan Keyes is a hustler, and a pretty nutty one at that. If I never again hear the words "Ambassador Keyes" after November 2004, I'll be a happy man. I guess I should mention where I got this link from. Nah. Let's say I got it from someone who seems overly fond of Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. But I seem to remember posting a trailer for the Batman movie some time ago (gotten from Jim Treacher, duly credited), and then it mysteriously appeared on Filet-O-Fish's site an hour later, without credit to anyone. And I know Filet-O-Fish checks in periodically. So, you know, fuck him. Fuck him right up his ass. Not in a gay way, of course. Like a Viking. posted by Ace at 02:38 AM
CommentsThis is so outrageously mean I'm going to spill something. Pleased. Posted by: the UNPOPULIST on October 19, 2004 03:11 AM
This last part is so outrageously mean I'm going to spill something. Pleased. Posted by: the UNPOPULIST on October 19, 2004 03:12 AM
Ace- But then you didn't deliver even a single masturbatory photo. Not one. And my goodness, but they are out there. My gracious but I couldn't figure out why Jack Ryan wasn't widely lauded in public, on public airwaves, in 25 cent theaters, and on cable television for preaching the "politics of the possible." But you, Ace, deliver no pictures? That's the politics of defeatism. Phooey on you, sir. Phooey on you. Posted by: Birkel on October 19, 2004 05:12 AM
Han Solo: "Who's scruffy-looking?" Alan Keyes: "I am NOT a hustler." Posted by: The Black Republican on October 19, 2004 09:08 AM
There's a book out there (and I'm too busy thinking of Jeri Ryan on a mechanical bull with a Filet-O-Fish sandwich to look up the title) that followed Keyes and a bunch of other candidates the first time he ran for president. Keyes came off as a bit of an oddball, but one with a firm grasp of the Constitution and a genuine regret for the decay of the Republic. In short, he was a no-chancer, but one worthy of admiration. Now, of course, he's a joke, a bigot, a fool and an outright asshat. Hell, I'd even vote for Obama, and I haven't voted Democrat since the McKinley administration! Posted by: Christopher on October 19, 2004 12:34 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason. Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD]
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
Georgia moves to drop the corrupt Fulton county prosecution of Trump for "election rigging" or whatever bullshit the adulteress Fani Willis claimed
This may be the last we hear of Big Fani and Darrius "Sweetdick" Honeycum, Esq.
Escaped "SlenderMan Stabber" picked up with her "transgender" friend
We're increasingly loose with the word "transgender" aren't we? Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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