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| Instapundit Launches Denial-of-Traffic (DoT) Attack on Filet-O-Fish »
October 19, 2004
Alan Keyes: Nuttier Than a Snickers BarLet me get this straight: the Illinois Republican Party ditched Jack Ryan, who's biggest sin was allegedly trying to get actress Jeri Ryan to engage in some semi-public sex, in favor of Alan Keyes. Because, you know, Jack Ryan would have been killed at the polls. Would have hurt the Illinois Republican party, set it back 50 years. Good thing we cut our losses when we had the chance: U.S. Senate candidate Alan Keyes told a rally Saturday that incest was "inevitable" for children raised by gay couples because the children might not know both biological parents. I think there are bona fide reasons to be favor straight parents over gay ones, but isn't this reason a bit, um, insane? Yes, it could happen. But this can happen with any adopted child, or any child conceived from donor sperm (or donor eggs). I think Republicans are so desperate for black allies -- both to have some black political support and to disprove the endless charges of racism -- that we're sometimes easily taken in by a hustler. Alan Keyes is a hustler, and a pretty nutty one at that. If I never again hear the words "Ambassador Keyes" after November 2004, I'll be a happy man. I guess I should mention where I got this link from. Nah. Let's say I got it from someone who seems overly fond of Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. But I seem to remember posting a trailer for the Batman movie some time ago (gotten from Jim Treacher, duly credited), and then it mysteriously appeared on Filet-O-Fish's site an hour later, without credit to anyone. And I know Filet-O-Fish checks in periodically. So, you know, fuck him. Fuck him right up his ass. Not in a gay way, of course. Like a Viking. posted by Ace at 02:38 AM
CommentsThis is so outrageously mean I'm going to spill something. Pleased. Posted by: the UNPOPULIST on October 19, 2004 03:11 AM
This last part is so outrageously mean I'm going to spill something. Pleased. Posted by: the UNPOPULIST on October 19, 2004 03:12 AM
Ace- But then you didn't deliver even a single masturbatory photo. Not one. And my goodness, but they are out there. My gracious but I couldn't figure out why Jack Ryan wasn't widely lauded in public, on public airwaves, in 25 cent theaters, and on cable television for preaching the "politics of the possible." But you, Ace, deliver no pictures? That's the politics of defeatism. Phooey on you, sir. Phooey on you. Posted by: Birkel on October 19, 2004 05:12 AM
Han Solo: "Who's scruffy-looking?" Alan Keyes: "I am NOT a hustler." Posted by: The Black Republican on October 19, 2004 09:08 AM
There's a book out there (and I'm too busy thinking of Jeri Ryan on a mechanical bull with a Filet-O-Fish sandwich to look up the title) that followed Keyes and a bunch of other candidates the first time he ran for president. Keyes came off as a bit of an oddball, but one with a firm grasp of the Constitution and a genuine regret for the decay of the Republic. In short, he was a no-chancer, but one worthy of admiration. Now, of course, he's a joke, a bigot, a fool and an outright asshat. Hell, I'd even vote for Obama, and I haven't voted Democrat since the McKinley administration! Posted by: Christopher on October 19, 2004 12:34 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?
Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust. Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
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