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The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more!

Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation)

Via Archimedes:

Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter

Chocolate Cherry Cordial
You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew
There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

More at this ineffable link

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it:
Athletic (boogie down)
Hustle (turn back)
Feel pathetic (sugar town)
No muscle (soul hack)
I'm jumping (you move)
No dancer (beside me)
I'm thumping (you prove)
Don't get no answer

TJM dives into the thrill a minute cinema of Andrei Tarkovsky

Building collapses during 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Colombia

On "Professor" Arday:

He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple.

-- Krebs v Carnot

TJM definitively ranks the films of Sergio Leone. You won't believe #6. Real hot take there.

Bro spent four years/4000 hours painting an eleven-foot long cutaway-view layout of the USS Enterprise

Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products
Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD]

Podcast: More Iran bluster from Trump? Enough! Deportations hit a record, and that is a good thing for all, Todd Blanche's nomination is out of committee, the DSA is on the march, and more!

TJM struggles with Sergio Leone's legacy

The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes
Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long.

TJM wonders what the most Scorsese movie that Scorsese ever Scorsesed was

TJM definitively ranks the films of Fritz Lang

Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the Berlin attack, Iran...Again! Sefton's mini Odyssey review, Data Republican's blockbuster reveal about the DNC, and more!

TJM explores the worlds created by Fritz Lang

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
She's totally committed to major independence
She's a lady through and through
She gives them quite a battle, all that they can handle
She'll bruise some, she'll hurt some too

I got something done yesterday and am exhausted.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky
[CBD]

Podcast: Illegals registered and voted in NJ! Leftist violence is baked into the Democrat cake, Iran's capabilities are being degraded, Londonistan? And...come on SC...no senate dynasties!

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Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)

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I'm proud to announce that I just got a google-hit off of the keywords "John Edwards cocoa-butter XXX

If it wasn't for intrepid pioneers like you, ACE, searching the Internet, we would never know these pertinent facts!

It brings up all sorts of things for enquiring minds....Therazzza.

"Ahk, bon ami Jean le fake Pulrple Heard du le zee Koln...come to your Portugee Kumquat...or sent in the "Senatorial substitute" hirling."

"Alors, darling Therazza! Mazel Tov! Vee haff Zeee dejuene Jean ready to prime my surrogate with zee John Edwards cocao butter XXX and send him in sooo ready, sooo passionate!"

Of course, the "Princess Leia cocoa butter XXXs" bring up no internet hits. But surely on the long trip back on the Millenium Falcon after blowing up the Death Star she tried to keep her male crew's spirits up. Han Solo was of course done good by the Hussy of the Rebel Cause no cocoa butter rubby-dubby for her main dude...but then all sorts of ethical questions with the others. Inter-racial with Billy Dee's character, interspecies with Chewbacca (quite a roar at the end), human-machine interface with C3PO "Oh my, Princess, it appears you worked out all the squeaks with that lubricant!, and bro Luke snarling "I don't care if you think I am your brother, bitch! I saved your hoity-tot life! R2D2 and I are platonic. So helmet wash my Darth Vader headgear tipped manhood or break out the cocoa butter!"

Next Internet searches: "Kerry bends over for Likud", "Bush gives a 600 billion Big Pharma knobber".

PS - Your automated posting censor didn't like handXXXs, but let you post under that as Blogger - perhaps being OK in context of "trial lawyer". But it did accept "knobber" for Carrie Fisher's most famous character. No wonder the actress took to drinking in later years!


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Daily Wire to Release Film About ISIS Taking Over an American College Campus; Islamist Propagandists Say Criticism of ISIS is Islamophobic; Tuq'r Qarlson Says That Ben Shapiro Is a Sleeper Agent Created by Israel FBI: We Arrested 4,000 Nasty Criminals In the Last Two Months Hospitals Defraud the Federal Government, Disguising Costs of "Gender Affirming Care" as Something Else, Claiming It's For Something Else; Hospitals Referred to DOJ for Prosecution THE MORNING RANT: Alberta Independence Is a Necessary Bulwark Against Canada’s Capitulation to the Enemies of Western Civilization Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 8/ 14 /26 Daily Tech News 14 August 2026 Thursday Overnight Open Thread - August 13, 2026 [Doof] Seal Sumo Wrestling Cafe Quick Hits Absent Friends Captain Whitebread 2026 Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Duelfer's Report \| Main \| Release the Hounds: Wired News Notes Blogger Pack Hunting Tactics » October 07, 2004 JibJab.com Debuts Sequel to "This Land" Kinda crazy, but a website is now getting pre-release buzz from the LLM. Unfortunately, there's no link yet to the new cartoon at JibJab.com. It's going to premier on the Tonight Show tonight. And, get this, they're being paid an "undisclosed amount" for "premier rights." In related news, I'm proud to announce that I just got a google-hit off of the keywords "John Edwards cocoa-butter handjob." So don't worry about me. I'm doin' a-ok myself. posted by Ace at 09:33 AM Comments Boy, I'd hate to be the j-mopper at this joint! Posted by: Chrees on October 7, 2004 06:17 PM I'm proud to announce that I just got a google-hit off of the keywords "John Edwards cocoa-butter XXX If it wasn't for intrepid pioneers like you, ACE, searching the Internet, we would never know these pertinent facts! It brings up all sorts of things for enquiring minds....Therazzza. "Ahk, bon ami Jean le fake Pulrple Heard du le zee Koln...come to your Portugee Kumquat...or sent in the "Senatorial substitute" hirling." "Alors, darling Therazza! Mazel Tov! Vee haff Zeee dejuene Jean ready to prime my surrogate with zee John Edwards cocao butter XXX and send him in sooo ready, sooo passionate!" Of course, the "Princess Leia cocoa butter XXXs" bring up no internet hits. But surely on the long trip back on the Millenium Falcon after blowing up the Death Star she tried to keep her male crew's spirits up. Han Solo was of course done good by the Hussy of the Rebel Cause no cocoa butter rubby-dubby for her main dude...but then all sorts of ethical questions with the others. Inter-racial with Billy Dee's character, interspecies with Chewbacca (quite a roar at the end), human-machine interface with C3PO "Oh my, Princess, it appears you worked out all the squeaks with that lubricant!, and bro Luke snarling "I don't care if you think I am your brother, bitch! I saved your hoity-tot life! R2D2 and I are platonic. So helmet wash my Darth Vader headgear tipped manhood or break out the cocoa butter!" Next Internet searches: "Kerry bends over for Likud", "Bush gives a 600 billion Big Pharma knobber". PS - Your automated posting censor didn't like handXXXs, but let you post under that as Blogger - perhaps being OK in context of "trial lawyer". But it did accept "knobber" for Carrie Fisher's most famous character. No wonder the actress took to drinking in later years! Posted by: Cedarford on October 7, 2004 07:46 PM The video was a riot. Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on October 7, 2004 11:00 PM Gasp . . . need . . . air . . . laughter to tears. By Godfrey you and the Cedar done it again. Posted by: dano on October 8, 2004 03:34 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Podcast: In Wisconsin, the Dems steal an election from themselves, abortion is cheered in Massachusetts, Spain gets what it voted for, the economy is humming, and more! Subway rider belts out Nessun Dorma (which you may recognize from Trump's rallies and from my favorite Mission Impossible movie, Rogue Nation) Via Archimedes: *Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter* Chocolate Cherry Cordial You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate. Caramel Chew There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal. More at this ineffable link Forgotten 80s Mystery Click I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it: Athletic (boogie down) Hustle (turn back) Feel pathetic (sugar town) No muscle (soul hack) I'm jumping (you move) No dancer (beside me) I'm thumping (you prove) Don't get no answer TJM dives into the thrill a minute cinema of Andrei Tarkovsky Building collapses during 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Colombia On "Professor" Arday: He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple. -- Krebs v Carnot TJM definitively ranks the films of Sergio Leone. You won't believe #6. Real hot take there. Bro spent four years/4000 hours painting an eleven-foot long cutaway-view layout of the USS Enterprise Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products Ireland's best emigrated 150 years ago. The current Ireland is a sad joke. [CBD] Podcast: More Iran bluster from Trump? Enough! Deportations hit a record, and that is a good thing for all, Todd Blanche's nomination is out of committee, the DSA is on the march, and more! TJM struggles with Sergio Leone's legacy The Short Unhappy Life of a Russian Soldier: Why recruits die in 20-30 minutes Interesting video. Some key parts: drones were responsible for 70-80% of all battlefield deaths in mid-2025, and I bet it's higher now. The Russian army is incredibly corrupt. Men get assigned to the most dangerous frontline units, the "Storm" units, unless they pay a superior $2,000 to be assigned to a different unit. Furthermore, there is often no real training for recruits -- commanders pocket the money that would have gone towards fuel and ammo costs incurred during training. Much "training" consists just of taking a single picture of soldiers doing something soldier-y, like fording a river, and publishing that as proof that the training was done. Even when it is done, training is only two weeks long. TJM wonders what the most Scorsese movie that Scorsese ever Scorsesed was TJM definitively ranks the films of Fritz Lang Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the Berlin attack, Iran...Again! Sefton's mini Odyssey review, Data Republican's blockbuster reveal about the DNC, and more! TJM explores the worlds created by Fritz Lang Forgotten 80s Mystery Click She's totally committed to major independence She's a lady through and through She gives them quite a battle, all that they can handle She'll bruise some, she'll hurt some too I got something done yesterday and am exhausted. Posted by: ChristyBlinky [CBD] Podcast: Illegals registered and voted in NJ! Leftist violence is baked into the Democrat cake, Iran's capabilities are being degraded, Londonistan? And...come on SC...no senate dynasties! Recent Comments gnats local 678: "almost read the contents ..." Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart.: "Nice wide margins. Birthing hips margins. Is t ..." Warai-otoko: "Picture -any- semi-public figure like Cho saying s ..." sifty boones: "253. Horseshit. ICE is awesome. And commies and ..." Hadrian the Seventh: " [i]Mehdi Hasan was 30 years old in 2009 when he ..." s: "NOODlum. ..." The Margins: "takes long drag off cigarette Thanks Ace..... ..." Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart.: "I saw this on Deadline awhile back. A few years ..." toby928(c) : "[i]Why did the troon cross the road? [/i] He wa ..." Sponge - Fck Cancer: "WIDEtrack....... ..." gp: "nood ..." Sponge - Fck Cancer: "FIRST!!!!! ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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JibJab.com Debuts Sequel to "This Land"