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Top Headlines

Podcast: Sefton and CBD have a short chat about Iran, the disgusting SAVE Act theater, Mamdani's politicizing of St. Patrick's Day, and more!

Official confirmation from the Joint Chiefs of Staff: the Warthog is now strafing Iranian fast attack boats

[A]n asshole is somebody who looks at a painting of two toddlers doing something totally normal for toddlers and decides that it represents homosexuality and then thinks that publicly saying that is somehow edgy and clever. Instead it is doing what we accuse the Left of, that is sexualizing young children. If that describes you, own it.

Muldoon

Update: Reports say The Warthog has been deployed against men
Thanks to fd. Yeah, thanks a bunch, Chief.

Reports: The A-10 Thunderbolt, better known as The Warthog, has been unleashed on Iran
It's a heavily armored (the pilot sits in a titanim bathtub) slow-and-low loitering plane with a massive minigun firing depleted uranium rounds. The capability it brings is the ability to just fly big circles over the country waiting for a target to present itself. This is a weapons platform for eliminating vehicles and personnel. Its first task might be strafing the seas, clearing out any remaining attack boats and minelayers.

Update: My ballpark estimate for a reasonable cost for a wildlife overpass (suitably padded to sate the thirst of Democrat grifters) was $15 million. Turns out, that was a good estimate. That's how much it cost Denver to build one.

The other Arquette whore: Trans people are forced to flee the US because we're making them use the correct bathrooms, despite them "clearly presenting as... (thinks of a way to say this other than "the opposite sex") ... what they are."

TJM thinks Bogus Journey is better than Excellent Adventure.

Iran's Blockade of the Strait of Hormuz Is Destined to Fail [CBD]

Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the obvious incompatibility of Islam with free societies, John Bolton is a disloyal sleaze, The SAVE Act is in the muck of Senate RINOs, the crappy quality of anti-American propaganda, and more!

Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade.

The Oscars: A celebration of thanking. Dave Barry nails it! [CBD]

TJM has some final thoughts on The Oscars before Sunday's telecast.

Ami Kozak: Every single Tucker Carlson episode consists of him claiming he didn't say the things he said in the last episode
Also: this is the manipulation Tucker does that i hate the most. It's so cowardly. All he does is smear people (and Jews, generally), and then claim "I have nothing against [the person or group I just smeared.]" He'll even claim "I love [x], actually." Just again and again and again. It's all a lie, of course. A year ago he smeared Jews but added how beautiful he thought Israel was, and then two weeks ago, he said Israel is ugly as dog-shit and nothing beautiful has been built there "since 1948."
Just got this email from Dracula: "I love Van Helsing, actually, he's one of my personal heroes, if I'm being honest. I will claw the heart out of his belly and bathe in his blood before the children of Babylon, but I have nothing but respect for Van Helsing, actually. Love is the answer. Except for the followers of the Christ whom I am commanded to turn into my dark army of Satan. And I totally don't worship Satan, I just think we should listen to both sides. Hugs and kisses, may Van Helsing burn in the blood-red fires of hell throughout eternity, even though I consider him a close and dear friend, Vlad called Dracul."

A beautiful tribute to Cardboard Ayatollah
Another tribute

New CPAC Treasured Guest Speaker drops

Putting that Ayatollah Standee to actual useful work

Trump: Look at me, I'm the Ayatollah, ennnnnnnyah"

No Allen wrench needed for once

Cardboard Ayatollah recognizes that meme!

Recent Comments

connected and litigious: "I'm so glad the Pearl Harbor joke was real. I tho ..."

Jackson K.: "I guess if you fire 1000s projectiles in the air w ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "He's just a terrible actor. Sorry Leo fans. Poste ..."

tcn in AK: "Anyone have any entries? Posted by: ace at March ..."

Rev. Wishbone: "I think Trump needs to release the JFK files showi ..."

Itinerant Alley Butcher: ">>> This is not your Fathers NASCAR Posted by: It ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _: "That dumb Surprise attack reporter's going to get ..."

Aetius451AD work phone: "Getting shot in the head in Quick and the Dead (an ..."

Guy Mohawk: "Brian Williams Helicopter story! ..."

Field Marshal Zhukov: "Someone said here that Kent had a history as a bad ..."

Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Anyone have any entries? Posted by: ace at March ..."

ace: ">>>Maybe cliche but Tucker predicted WW3 and heavy ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Quick Hits Trump Makes a Minor Joke About the Element of Surprise in War, and the Very Professional, Educated, and Smart Media Takes It All In Stride With Perfect Calm and Equanimity John Solomon: US Intelligence Recorded Foreign Powers Discussing Routing USAID Money to Joe Biden in 2024, But They Hid This From Trump The New Darling of the Grifter Left and Grifter Right, Joe Kent, Seems to Have Flounced From His Job Because He Knew He Was Under Investigation for Illegal Leaking Poll: 84% of Republicans Agree With Trump on Iran, 6% Agree with Me-Again Kelly and Tuq'r Qarlson Official Twitter Account of Republic of Somaliland: We Have Proof That Ilhan "Omar's" Real Last Name is "Elmi," Changed to Hide the Fact That Her Father is a Genocidal Warlord The EU and Japan Hint They Might Do Something to Protect Shipping in the Strait of America The Morning Rant Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 3/19/26 Absent Friends Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2025: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« John Kerry Demonstrates to his Staff Exactly How He'd Like His Skin to Look \| Main \| More on Rather » October 02, 2004 The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Read Hoke Malokey (like, Bob Dole, this is how I refer to myself) just read "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" by David Sedaris and makes the following offer to all of Ace's acolytes. Buy the book. Read the chapter about Sedaris' brother ("Rooster at the Hitchin' Post"). If it is not the funniest thing you've ever read, Ace will refund the purchase. posted by Ace at 10:47 AM Comments I dunno. P.J.O'Rourke has had me on the floor gasping for breath on several occasions. Posted by: Raoul Ortega on October 2, 2004 02:15 PM David is the GAY MULLET! Snide Quear Humor, How Droll. Amy is much funnier! Posted by: j on October 2, 2004 02:53 PM Ace, you can find more about the Rooster in Barrel Fever, one of Sedaris's earlier books. I'd also point out that as funny as Sedaris's books are, the audio books are possibly even funnier. Having listened to these, I almost can't bring myself to just read the books anymore. Speaking of the Rooster, be sure to check out http://www.sedarishardwoodfloors.com/ which is the website for the Rooster's flooring company and http://www.youcantkilltherooster.com/ where you can get official Rooster T-Shirts. Posted by: Publius on October 2, 2004 04:38 PM PJ O'Rourke had me on the floor gasping for breath too, but that's when we were dating. Ba-dump. Posted by: Hoke Malokey on October 2, 2004 04:39 PM Sorry about that loose shit. The other Rooster material is in "Me Talk Pretty One Day," not "Barrel Fever." Though I'd reccomend both, I figured I ought to correct the record before I make a maniac out of David Sedaris. Posted by: Publius on October 2, 2004 04:45 PM I've read that book - and that chapter is great! Have you read his other books - i.e. Naked, Me Talk Pretty Some Day? I recommend all of them - I've laughed out loud at ALL of them. Posted by: Isobella on October 2, 2004 10:53 PM Sedaris rocks. Who else writes a story about finding a turd in the toilet at a party, and CONTEMPLATING what to do with it? Plus, David Sedaris' books are the only books my wife has ever read. They're like Tivo and Seinfeld for her...every viewing is a new viewing, and every reading is a new reading. As long as he cranks one out every couple of years, I'm good to go. Posted by: Scott Chaffin on October 2, 2004 11:53 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Podcast: Sefton and CBD have a short chat about Iran, the disgusting SAVE Act theater, Mamdani's politicizing of St. Patrick's Day, and more! Official confirmation from the Joint Chiefs of Staff: the Warthog is now strafing Iranian fast attack boats [A]n asshole is somebody who looks at a painting of two toddlers doing something totally normal for toddlers and decides that it represents homosexuality and then thinks that publicly saying that is somehow edgy and clever. Instead it is doing what we accuse the Left of, that is sexualizing young children. If that describes you, own it. Muldoon Update: Reports say The Warthog has been deployed against men Thanks to fd. Yeah, thanks a bunch, Chief. Reports: The A-10 Thunderbolt, better known as The Warthog, has been unleashed on Iran It's a heavily armored (the pilot sits in a titanim bathtub) slow-and-low loitering plane with a massive minigun firing depleted uranium rounds. The capability it brings is the ability to just fly big circles over the country waiting for a target to present itself. This is a weapons platform for eliminating vehicles and personnel. Its first task might be strafing the seas, clearing out any remaining attack boats and minelayers. Update: My ballpark estimate for a reasonable cost for a wildlife overpass (suitably padded to sate the thirst of Democrat grifters) was $15 million. Turns out, that was a good estimate. That's how much it cost Denver to build one. The other Arquette whore: Trans people are forced to flee the US because we're making them use the correct bathrooms, despite them "clearly presenting as... (thinks of a way to say this other than "the opposite sex") ... what they are." TJM thinks Bogus Journey is better than Excellent Adventure. Iran's Blockade of the Strait of Hormuz Is Destined to Fail [CBD] Podcast: CBD and Sefton discuss the obvious incompatibility of Islam with free societies, John Bolton is a disloyal sleaze, The SAVE Act is in the muck of Senate RINOs, the crappy quality of anti-American propaganda, and more! Some people liked Candace Owens because she was a black woman who told hard truths about BLM and black criminality. But this was always a grift. She started out as a race hustler for a grift, then hustled race the other way to grift conservatives, and now she's back to being a race-hustler for the left again. Specifically, she is now claiming that people pointing out that she is legitimately low-IQ and can't pronounce half the words her AI-generated teleprompter script points out to her is racist and just Ben Shapiro's way of saying the n-word without quite saying it. You see, you can only say that black people are smart, and if you see a dumb one that doesn't know how to pronounce simple words while she poses as an investigatory journalist, you have to pretend she's actually smart or you're a racist. Weird, that doesn't sound very conservative, let alone "#Based," to me. To prove how much she hates racism, she then says that Ben Shapiro's Jew ancestors were masters of the slave trade. The Oscars: A celebration of thanking. Dave Barry nails it! [CBD] TJM has some final thoughts on The Oscars before Sunday's telecast. Ami Kozak: Every single Tucker Carlson episode consists of him claiming he didn't say the things he said in the last episode Also: this is the manipulation Tucker does that i hate the most. It's so cowardly. All he does is smear people (and Jews, generally), and then claim "I have nothing against [the person or group I just smeared.]" He'll even claim "I love [x], actually." Just again and again and again. It's all a lie, of course. A year ago he smeared Jews but added how beautiful he thought Israel was, and then two weeks ago, he said Israel is ugly as dog-shit and nothing beautiful has been built there "since 1948." Just got this email from Dracula: "I love Van Helsing, actually, he's one of my personal heroes, if I'm being honest. I will claw the heart out of his belly and bathe in his blood before the children of Babylon, but I have nothing but respect for Van Helsing, actually. Love is the answer. Except for the followers of the Christ whom I am commanded to turn into my dark army of Satan. And I totally don't worship Satan, I just think we should listen to both sides. Hugs and kisses, may Van Helsing burn in the blood-red fires of hell throughout eternity, even though I consider him a close and dear friend, Vlad called Dracul." A beautiful tribute to Cardboard Ayatollah Another tribute New CPAC Treasured Guest Speaker drops Putting that Ayatollah Standee to actual useful work Trump: Look at me, I'm the Ayatollah, ennnnnnnyah" No Allen wrench needed for once Cardboard Ayatollah recognizes that meme! Recent Comments connected and litigious: "I'm so glad the Pearl Harbor joke was real. I tho ..." Jackson K.: "I guess if you fire 1000s projectiles in the air w ..." Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "He's just a terrible actor. Sorry Leo fans. Poste ..." tcn in AK: "Anyone have any entries? Posted by: ace at March ..." Rev. Wishbone: "I think Trump needs to release the JFK files showi ..." Itinerant Alley Butcher: ">>> This is not your Fathers NASCAR Posted by: It ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _: "That dumb Surprise attack reporter's going to get ..." Aetius451AD work phone: "Getting shot in the head in Quick and the Dead (an ..." Guy Mohawk: "Brian Williams Helicopter story! ..." Field Marshal Zhukov: "Someone said here that Kent had a history as a bad ..." Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd: "Anyone have any entries? Posted by: ace at March ..." ace: ">>>Maybe cliche but Tucker predicted WW3 and heavy ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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