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October 02, 2004
The Funniest Thing I Have Ever ReadHoke Malokey (like, Bob Dole, this is how I refer to myself) just read "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" by David Sedaris and makes the following offer to all of Ace's acolytes. Buy the book. Read the chapter about Sedaris' brother ("Rooster at the Hitchin' Post"). If it is not the funniest thing you've ever read, Ace will refund the purchase. posted by Ace at 10:47 AM
CommentsI dunno. P.J.O'Rourke has had me on the floor gasping for breath on several occasions. Posted by: Raoul Ortega on October 2, 2004 02:15 PM
David is the GAY MULLET! Snide Quear Humor, How Droll. Amy is much funnier! Posted by: j on October 2, 2004 02:53 PM
Ace, you can find more about the Rooster in Barrel Fever, one of Sedaris's earlier books. I'd also point out that as funny as Sedaris's books are, the audio books are possibly even funnier. Having listened to these, I almost can't bring myself to just read the books anymore. Speaking of the Rooster, be sure to check out http://www.sedarishardwoodfloors.com/ which is the website for the Rooster's flooring company and http://www.youcantkilltherooster.com/ where you can get official Rooster T-Shirts. Posted by: Publius on October 2, 2004 04:38 PM
PJ O'Rourke had me on the floor gasping for breath too, but that's when we were dating. Ba-dump. Posted by: Hoke Malokey on October 2, 2004 04:39 PM
Sorry about that loose shit. The other Rooster material is in "Me Talk Pretty One Day," not "Barrel Fever." Though I'd reccomend both, I figured I ought to correct the record before I make a maniac out of David Sedaris. Posted by: Publius on October 2, 2004 04:45 PM
I've read that book - and that chapter is great! Have you read his other books - i.e. Naked, Me Talk Pretty Some Day? I recommend all of them - I've laughed out loud at ALL of them. Posted by: Isobella on October 2, 2004 10:53 PM
Sedaris rocks. Who else writes a story about finding a turd in the toilet at a party, and CONTEMPLATING what to do with it? Plus, David Sedaris' books are the only books my wife has ever read. They're like Tivo and Seinfeld for her...every viewing is a new viewing, and every reading is a new reading. As long as he cranks one out every couple of years, I'm good to go. Posted by: Scott Chaffin on October 2, 2004 11:53 PM
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Boise State Women's Volleyball Forfeits Match Against Team with Male Player
This is the template for a successful fight against the transsexual lunacy in athletics. [CBD]
Yacht or Nyacht?
With a combined score of 49.5 on Yacht or Nyacht, I'd say this one is a "Nyacht." No Hoe Snow snap. Not bouncy. Pretty dreary. No smooth groove. You won't be able to snort cocaine out of the cleavage of a "Naval Mabel" or "Poopdeck Patty." Or even if you do, it will be half-hearted at best.
From Instapundit, a Free Beacon Fact Check:
Joe Biden, nominal president of the United States, sat down with the ladies of The View for an interview on Wednesday. "It's like having one of the Beatles at the table," co-host Sarah Haines said as the audience roared and her colleagues cackled. I guess that's true if you're talking about the Beatles. But individual members of the Beatles did some decent stuff in the 80s. Kyrsten Sinema
Classics of Yacht Rock Mystery Click
Oh but it's all right Once you get past the pain You'll learn to find your love again So keep your heart open This is a fantastic (casual) driving song, when you're actually driving a little below the speed limit because you don't really have anywhere to be. Going forward, if we have any arguments about what is or what is not Yacht Rock, we can just consult the Yacht or Nyacht? website, which has ranked hundreds of songs according to their Yacht Quotient (YQ). I can see this website stopping arguments, fistfights, and formal duels.
In solidarity with the MSM, Rich Lowry and National Review vilified the Covington Kids as racist agitators back in 2019. Now, it’s Rich Lowry being canceled for an accidental slip of the tongue that sounded like a forbidden word. There’s a lesson here for the Polite Right, but they won’t learn it. [Buck]
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click: Pop Princess Edition
'Cause it gets me nowhere to tell you no/ And it gets me nowhere to make you go From the same album
Are Lebanese citizens making up songs praising the #pager bombs?
Olympics judo star Nemanja Majdov banned for 5 months after making sign of cross at Paris Games [CBD]
The Lost Classics of Yacht Rock
You know you can't fool me I've been loving you too long It started so easy You want to carry on I'm not sure this is even Yacht Rock. This might just be very soft rock. I can't see myself sniffing cocaine from a Boat Hoe's cleavage to this song, which is the primary criterion of Yacht Rock. But I think this song more crosses from the shallows of soft rock to the cresting majesty of Yacht Rock. This is definitely bouncy enough for Hoe Snow. Very smooth, a little folky, a little jazzy. It's got that Hoe Snow snap.
From Andycanuck: Hezballah members reporting for work today, a little bit skittish about entering the code on an electronic keypad lock
I don't know if this is real. It's certainly accurate -- no one in Hezballah is happy to be handling any kind of electronic device today.
FAA fines SpaceX $633K for acting without its permission "These fines therefore are simply because FAA management has hurt feelings because SpaceX wouldn't wait for it to twiddle its thumbs for a few more weeks. The fines also suggest that FAA management is either being pressured to hinder SpaceX's commercial operations by higher ups in the White House, or that management itself is trying to exert more power over the company, for apparently very petty reasons." [CBD]
1) Individuals, on camera and audio, stating what they saw is "unconfirmed" with "no specific reports"
Rep. James Comer writes letter to criminal Christopher Wray, seeking information about Tim Walz's many, many suspicious trips to China
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