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September 30, 2004
John Kerry Driven Insane By Little Flashing LightGABLES, Fla. (AP) - Democratic candidate John Kerry's campaign demanded Thursday that the lights signaling when a speaker's time has expired during debates with President Bush be removed from the lecterns because they are distracting, but the commission hosting the debates refused. Is it so hard for this moron to just limit his scary-important dissertations to two minutes? Or is his camp just trying to reduce expectations? Is this story real or contrived in order to make people think that John Kerry might Hulk Out if the time-expired light goes on? Eh. Either way, he's a shaved Bigfoot. Thanks to AS. No, a different AS. posted by Ace at 02:38 PM
CommentsI would love to be a fly on the wall in the "Kerry Suite" Jenny Backus is probably straining to keep her peepers in her head as we speak! I think they should have Teresa stand up and start telling people to shove it as soon as those lights start blinking! Posted by: Jennifer on September 30, 2004 02:45 PM
I got it. a) He won't release his medical records Is it Narcolepsy? This explains his falling off bikes, forgetting what he's said shortly after saying it and sleeping through the last year of Senate votes. Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 02:56 PM
This is the best part of the AP Story: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=694&ncid=696&e=2&u=/ap/20040930/ap_on_el_pr/debate_light_fight
That line is getting pretty tired. Posted by: j. fredd muggs on September 30, 2004 03:02 PM
Easily distracted, isn't he? Then again, we really shouldn't expect anything else from a man who apparently doesn't know the difference between night and afternoon. And Bush is the one who's supposed to be an idiot! Posted by: zetetic on September 30, 2004 03:07 PM
I'm telling you, he didn't confuse night and afternoon, he's just used to suddenly falling asleep in the middle of the day. Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 03:13 PM
Like Jean-Luc Picard, perhaps Kerry really sees four lights. http://sttng.epguides.info/?ID=311 Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on September 30, 2004 03:14 PM
The funny thing is that they have nice big spotlight-type timing lights installed in the audience to alert the speakers, and if you think the dinky little red/yellow/green lights are distracting, why not point out the honkin' big in-your-face lights? Unless, of course, you plan on going over a lot, and don't want the whole world to notice that you can't say anything in under two minutes... Posted by: cirby on September 30, 2004 03:27 PM
Excellent Star Trek reference. However, I think it's more likely that Kerry is the Balok Dummy from the Corbomite Maneuver episode. He's using this maneuver now, which is why he's pretending to be behind before his "strong closing". Either that or he's been asleep again. Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 03:32 PM
All of this doesn't really matter, for I guarantee that tomorrow's papers will inform us, no matter what we thought we saw tonight, that Kerry won the debate and that the Bush campaign is in big trouble. The reason? This is Kerry's last chance and see here for more Posted by: steve sturm on September 30, 2004 03:55 PM
Weren't these details already negotiated, hashed out, and agreed upon by the respective campaigns? If he didn't want the lectern lights, why did he, through his reps, agree to them earlier? And most importantly, if he and his team can't successfully negotiate favorable conditions for their candidate for a freakin' campaign debate, how in the hell does he expect to voters to think he can successfully further America's best interests with overtly and covertly hostile powers? Posted by: Rocketeer on September 30, 2004 04:23 PM
Wow, he really seized the opportunity to dispel that image of himself as a petulant, entitled, arrogant aristocrat, didn't he? Posted by: Brian B on September 30, 2004 05:03 PM
If he didn't want the lectern lights, why did he, through his reps, agree to them earlier? That's easy to explain, Rocketeer. He voted for the lights...before he voted against them. Posted by: Sean M. on September 30, 2004 06:43 PM
"Is it so hard for this moron to just limit his scary-important dissertations to two minutes?" Posted by: Dawn Summers on October 1, 2004 12:42 PM
Hello folks nice blog youre running Posted by: lolita on January 19, 2005 08:38 PM
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TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively
This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..."
[Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."
Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.
TJM definitively ranks the films of Andrei Tarkovsky and explains the joys of discovering older movies over anticipating new ones.
Via Archimedes:
Selections from H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter More at this ineffable link
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
I haven't forgotten this one. I play it a couple of times a month. But I bet a lot of you forgot it: Athletic (boogie down) Hustle (turn back) Feel pathetic (sugar town) No muscle (soul hack) I'm jumping (you move) No dancer (beside me) I'm thumping (you prove) Don't get no answer
On "Professor" Arday:
He was their living lawn jockey, period. They won't say that 'cause they're sensitive and down with his struggle and all. He was there to appease and flatter their sense of being uplifters of the oppressed. In truth, he served as their living lawn jockey -- no more, no less, and unworthy of even a second thought on their part. Tokenism, pure and simple.-- Krebs v Carnot
Ireland's 'Air Force One' lacks a key safety system for fog -- thanks to country's ban on Israeli products
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