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September 30, 2004
John Kerry Driven Insane By Little Flashing LightGABLES, Fla. (AP) - Democratic candidate John Kerry's campaign demanded Thursday that the lights signaling when a speaker's time has expired during debates with President Bush be removed from the lecterns because they are distracting, but the commission hosting the debates refused. Is it so hard for this moron to just limit his scary-important dissertations to two minutes? Or is his camp just trying to reduce expectations? Is this story real or contrived in order to make people think that John Kerry might Hulk Out if the time-expired light goes on? Eh. Either way, he's a shaved Bigfoot. Thanks to AS. No, a different AS. posted by Ace at 02:38 PM
CommentsI would love to be a fly on the wall in the "Kerry Suite" Jenny Backus is probably straining to keep her peepers in her head as we speak! I think they should have Teresa stand up and start telling people to shove it as soon as those lights start blinking! Posted by: Jennifer on September 30, 2004 02:45 PM
I got it. a) He won't release his medical records Is it Narcolepsy? This explains his falling off bikes, forgetting what he's said shortly after saying it and sleeping through the last year of Senate votes. Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 02:56 PM
This is the best part of the AP Story: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=694&ncid=696&e=2&u=/ap/20040930/ap_on_el_pr/debate_light_fight
That line is getting pretty tired. Posted by: j. fredd muggs on September 30, 2004 03:02 PM
Easily distracted, isn't he? Then again, we really shouldn't expect anything else from a man who apparently doesn't know the difference between night and afternoon. And Bush is the one who's supposed to be an idiot! Posted by: zetetic on September 30, 2004 03:07 PM
I'm telling you, he didn't confuse night and afternoon, he's just used to suddenly falling asleep in the middle of the day. Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 03:13 PM
Like Jean-Luc Picard, perhaps Kerry really sees four lights. http://sttng.epguides.info/?ID=311 Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on September 30, 2004 03:14 PM
The funny thing is that they have nice big spotlight-type timing lights installed in the audience to alert the speakers, and if you think the dinky little red/yellow/green lights are distracting, why not point out the honkin' big in-your-face lights? Unless, of course, you plan on going over a lot, and don't want the whole world to notice that you can't say anything in under two minutes... Posted by: cirby on September 30, 2004 03:27 PM
Excellent Star Trek reference. However, I think it's more likely that Kerry is the Balok Dummy from the Corbomite Maneuver episode. He's using this maneuver now, which is why he's pretending to be behind before his "strong closing". Either that or he's been asleep again. Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 03:32 PM
All of this doesn't really matter, for I guarantee that tomorrow's papers will inform us, no matter what we thought we saw tonight, that Kerry won the debate and that the Bush campaign is in big trouble. The reason? This is Kerry's last chance and see here for more Posted by: steve sturm on September 30, 2004 03:55 PM
Weren't these details already negotiated, hashed out, and agreed upon by the respective campaigns? If he didn't want the lectern lights, why did he, through his reps, agree to them earlier? And most importantly, if he and his team can't successfully negotiate favorable conditions for their candidate for a freakin' campaign debate, how in the hell does he expect to voters to think he can successfully further America's best interests with overtly and covertly hostile powers? Posted by: Rocketeer on September 30, 2004 04:23 PM
Wow, he really seized the opportunity to dispel that image of himself as a petulant, entitled, arrogant aristocrat, didn't he? Posted by: Brian B on September 30, 2004 05:03 PM
If he didn't want the lectern lights, why did he, through his reps, agree to them earlier? That's easy to explain, Rocketeer. He voted for the lights...before he voted against them. Posted by: Sean M. on September 30, 2004 06:43 PM
"Is it so hard for this moron to just limit his scary-important dissertations to two minutes?" Posted by: Dawn Summers on October 1, 2004 12:42 PM
Hello folks nice blog youre running Posted by: lolita on January 19, 2005 08:38 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD]
Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey vows to Somali criminals that he will not cooperate with ICE, then begins speaking in Somali
Gee I wonder why Walz allowed Somali pirates to steal 1 billion in American dollars... could it possibly be that criminal illegal aliens are voting in elections and the Democrats know it and play to that illegal constituency?
Incumbent Senator John Cornyn (RINO - TX) betrayed his party and his country by voting in favor Biden's Afghan resettlement bill in 2021. Cornyn voted to bring in the Afghan who shot two National Guard soldiers on US soil. A vote for Cornyn is an endorsement of importing unvetted, radicalized murderers. [Buck]
Georgia moves to drop the corrupt Fulton county prosecution of Trump for "election rigging" or whatever bullshit the adulteress Fani Willis claimed
This may be the last we hear of Big Fani and Darrius "Sweetdick" Honeycum, Esq.
Escaped "SlenderMan Stabber" picked up with her "transgender" friend
We're increasingly loose with the word "transgender" aren't we?
California City Bans Pickleball Over Noise Complaints
It's about time! [CBD] Recent Comments
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