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September 29, 2004
FoxNews Ain't Afraid to Say the Obvious: Rathergate Forgeries Were Likely CriminalMuch has been written about CBS' concession that it can no longer vouch for the authenticity of the documents that served as the foundation of its Bush National Guard story. But another story is developing, one that could possibly lead someone not just to public humiliation, but to a jail cell. Brit Hume reported tonight that a gaggle of Congressional Republicans wrote a letter to the Texas Attorney General, suggesting that he open and investigation to determine if state or federal laws were violated. The AG says he's referred the matter to, ahem, the Texas Rangers. Sounds like there's justice a-comin'. Ace of Spades Justice.
posted by Ace at 09:42 PM
CommentsWhat about the guy Allah says CBS is bringing in to prove the documents were typewritten? http://imrl.usu.edu/bush_memo_study/index.htm He concludes that he would say they are authentic. Posted by: Roundguy on September 29, 2004 10:32 PM
Ace, This is a lame comment. I read yesterday a summary of the relevant state and federal codes possibly violated in relation to the forgeries. Must.Take.Less.Cold.Medicine. If I can get it together, I will get it for you. Posted by: MeTooThen on September 29, 2004 10:48 PM
Roundguy: Not. Gonna. Happen. They are proven forgeries and the whole story has unwound. What's Burkett gonna say now about his mysterious source? There are too many threads that have come off this story for them to put it back together again. Besides, that guy is full of it and they've already taken him apart in the comments section. Ace: Does this mean we can expect to see Mr. Chuck Norris making an appearance here in the near term? Possibly with some Invasion U.S.A. tie-ins? I certainly hope so. Posted by: Kerry Is Unelectable on September 29, 2004 10:48 PM
It cracks me up that it says "two or more" under the number of documents. So it's OK to just forge 1 government doc in TX? Have to remember that next time I'm forging documents down there... Posted by: Mark on September 29, 2004 10:48 PM
This very strange man says he proves they had to be produced by a typewriter by reproducing them on a computer. Posted by: David [.net] on September 29, 2004 10:50 PM
Roundguy, the guy's an English prof. The 'overlay' approach has a LOT of embedded information in it that just isn't going to line up with a sane conclusion "Gosh, I guess those were real." It's far beyond the immediate visual. Individual characters can be messed up - the paper was wadded into a ball and then flattened. But the length of whole lines, or substantial parts of lines, shouldn't line up with MS Times New Roman. Period. The 'scaling' can be figured out by measuring one line, then setting zoom on the copier appropriately. But then the overlay shows 1) each word is the same length, 2) each collection of words is the same length, and 3) even full lines are the same length. Using a full line magnifies the teensy differences between even different versions of the same 'font'. This guy is yet another person trying to prove that "It is unlikely this was done on a computer" rather than the real freaking point of proving it could, and was, done on a typewriter. While also ignoring that it was _forged_ using a computer, with the addition of crumpling, flattening, skewing, adding dots, perhaps adding whiteout, and futzing around with a photocopier. Still steamed apparently, sorry for the waste of bits :D Posted by: Al on September 29, 2004 11:05 PM
Oh god, the DUmmies are going to be going nuts. Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer on September 29, 2004 11:15 PM
Ace-- I'm assuming you're talking about "Chuck Norris" Texas Rangers, and not "Alfonso" Soriano Texas Rangers. Because if it's the latter, the media will flip out: 1. Stupid Texas, they referred a criminal case to a baseball team. 2. They referred a criminal case to GEORGE W. BUSH'S FORMER baseball team. I SMELL VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY. Cheers, Posted by: Dave from Garfield Ridge on September 29, 2004 11:34 PM
It is beyond inane to attempt any further argument that the documents were produced by any equipment that existed in 1973 outside of professional typesetting operations. If you were looking to pass off recently created documents as being several decades old, there are only two reasons you'd not simply buy an old typewriter for $25 to do the job. You either had a specific belief the supposed creator of the document would have used such unlikely equipment or you're just too naively ignorant of the era to understand how transparent your forgery would be to anybody even marginally knowledgeable about the subject of typesetting. Never attribute to malice where stupidity would suffice. The more we examine the history of such stories the more such incidents are likely to be revealed. The internet hive-mind is changing all the rules and the old self-appointed watchmen are finding themselves watched, and retroactively at that. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on September 30, 2004 01:26 AM
Wow, this guy is an utter bozo. He shoots himself down irrevocably on his very first point: "1. The specific font used is from a typewriter family in common use since 1905 and a typewriter capable of producing the spacing has been available since 1944." I think the Times of London would be very surprised to here this since the earliest version of Times Roman was commisioned by them in the early 1930's. Likewise, the proportional spacing available from such typewriters was quite crude compared to what is used in the doucuments and produced by default in modern word processors outputting to modern printers. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on September 30, 2004 01:34 AM
The guy goes on to claim it isn't a variant of Times Roman but something much older and supposedly common. So common that his is the first claim I've seen anywhere that this was the case. It certainly wasn't for any of the typewriters I used in my youth. Posted by: Eric Pobirs on September 30, 2004 01:44 AM
Hey, I hear these Texas Ranger guys are real push-overs. The Texas AG might as well have turned this over to a Division of heavily-armed proctologists. Texas Justice, baby. It's why I don't go there anymore. Everybody repeat after me, "You will wear the Mask until you love it!" Posted by: Dear Johns on September 30, 2004 02:53 AM
I'm surprised no one has brought this up yet. I've been thinking all along, isn't forging government documents, like, you know, a crime?? Or at least something worthy of a fine? Also, the press is usually immune to charges of slander, since they are simply "doing their job" of informing the public, who "has a right to know" about newsworthy stories. I agree with this. But what about a case where there is obvious negligence in the reportage. Can a news segment legally be deemed slanderous if the fact-checking process supporting that segment is found to be grossly inadequate? And, by the way, retracting the story doesn't get them out of it. Accusing someone of, say, rape, and then retracting it is still damaging to the accused's reputation. Posted by: Longshanks on September 30, 2004 09:08 AM
I was wrong when I previously said that the major media wasn't going to lambast Dan because they were all sympathetic to his 'cause.' But being wrong has never stopped me from shooting my mouth off before, so- I don't think this will go anywhere as a criminal case. Like, what ever happened to Sandy Berger? Posted by: lauraw on September 30, 2004 09:50 AM
Dear Johns: Texas Justice isn't that bad. Sure, it's the only state that has electric bleachers instead of an electric chair, but recidivism is pretty low! Heavily armed proctologists...heh. With fat fingers. Posted by: Brett on September 30, 2004 11:46 AM
Whoever did it is screwed now. The Rangers don't jack around and don't take prisoners. Those boys go for the throat. Posted by: Dick on September 30, 2004 01:53 PM
Ok, so who do we pester, "ace-alanche", to make sure we get "head-on-a-pike" Ace-O-Spades justice? 'Cause unless it be a squealin this wheel aint gettin no oil. Or in this case Rather Lard. Posted by: Iblis on September 30, 2004 02:46 PM
Hello folks nice blog youre running Posted by: lolita on January 19, 2005 08:38 PM
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What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)* Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown. A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask). * Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV. Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
Easy, no question -- read The Hobbit first. It's actually the start of the story and comes first chronologically. It sets up some major characters and major pieces in play in LOTR. Also, the Hobbit is Beginner-Friendly, which LOTR isn't. The Hobbit really is a delightful book, and a fast read. It's chatty, it's casual, it's exciting, and it's funny. In that dry cheeky British humor way. I love that the narrator is constantly making little asides and commentary, like he's just sitting next to you telling you this story as it occurs to him. LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR. Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too. LOTR is written for adults. (It's said that Tolkien wrote both for his children, but LOTR was written 17 years later, when his children were adults.) Some might not like The Hobbit due to its sometimes frivolous tone. Me, I love it. I find it constantly amusing. Both are really good but there is a starkly different tone to both. LOTR is epic, grand, and serious, about a world war, The Hobbit is light and breezy, and about a heist. Though a heist that culminates in a war for the spoils.
The Hobbit Challenge: Read two more chapters. I didn't have much time. Bilbo got the ring.
I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others. But the narrator -- who we will learn in LOTR was none of than Bilbo himself, who wrote the book as "There and Back Again" -- says this about Gollum's ring: "But who knows how Gollum had come by that present [the Ring], ages ago in the old days when such rings were still at large in the world? Perhaps even the Master who ruled them could not have said." In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power." I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron. Now I don't remember when Bilbo wrote the Hobbit. In the movie, he shows Frodo the book in Rivendell, and I guess he wrote it after he left the Shire. I guess he might have added in the part about the ring being a ring of power created by "the Master" after Gandalf appraised him of his research into the ring. I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do. But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
Finish the job, Mr. President!
Melanie Phillips lays out the case for the total destruction of the Iranian government and armed forces. [CBD]
Oh, I forgot to mention this quote from Pete Hegseth, reported by Roger Kimball: "We are sharing the ocean with the Iranian Navy. We're giving them the bottom half."
Batman fires The Batman
Batman is disgusted by the Joachim Phoenix version of Joker Batman tries to fire Superman Batman is still workshopping his Bat-Voice
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Red Leather Suit and Sweatband Edition
And I was here to please I'm even on knees Makin' love to whoever I please I gotta do it my way Or no way at all
Tomorrow is March 25th, "Tolkien Reading Day," because March 25th is the day when the Ring is destroyed in the book. I think I'm going to start the Hobbit tomorrow and read all four books this time.
The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
Sec. Army recognizes ODU Army ROTC cadets for their bravery and sacrifice in private ceremony
[Hat Tip: Diogenes] [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
One day I'm gonna write a poem in a letter One day I'm gonna get that faculty together Remember that everybody has to wait in line Oh, [Song Title], look out world, oh, you know I've got mine
US decimation of Iran's ICBM forces is due to Space Force's instant detection of launches -- and the launchers' hiding places -- and rapid counter-attack via missiles
AI is doing a lot of the work in analyzing images to find the exact hiding place of the launchers. Counter-strikes are now coming in four hours after a launch, whereas previously it might have taken days for humans to go over the imagery and data.
Robert Mueller, Former Special Counsel Who Probed Trump, Dies
“robert mueller just died,” trump wrote in a truth social post on march 21. “good, i’m glad he’s dead. he can no longer hurt innocent people! president donald j. trump.”
Canadian School Designates Cafeteria And Lunchroom As "No Food Zones" For Ramadan
Canada and the UK are neck and neck in the race to become the first western country to fall to Islam [CBD] Recent Comments
Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ THIS year in Corsicana! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]:
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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