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September 01, 2004

The Respectable Media Catches Up With Ace of Spades on Paul Krugman

Finally, someone with Wall Street-cred notices what I've been saying for months-- Princeton Paranoiac Paul Krugman has gone over-the-moon batshit crazy:

New York, N.Y. — New York Times columnist Paul Krugman says he believes the United States needs a "mega-Watergate" scandal to uncover a far-reaching right-wing conspiracy, going back forty years, to gain control of the U.S. government and roll back civil rights.

...Krugman said there is a "complete continuity" between today's politics and the "campaign of slander and innuendo" against Clinton. "There's complete continuity going back, really, I think — but this is my next book — you really need to go back to Goldwater. A lot of this has to do with civil rights, and the people who don't like them."

Krugman described the conspiracy as "the coalition between the malefactors of great wealth and the religious right." He offered no further details about who, precisely, is in the conspiracy but said that "substantial chunks of the media are part of this same movement."

...

Now, Krugman said, getting rid of George W. Bush is "necessary but not sufficient" to repair the damage done by the right. "The answer, I think, my great hope now, is that we need an enormous unearthing of the scandals that we know have taken place," Krugman said. "We need a mega-Watergate that rocks them back."

Wow. There can be only one possible reaction to such lunatic charges: the immediate recycling and re-posting of old comedy material.

Top Ten Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Friggin' Mind

10. Claims he's being "stalked" by Donald Luskin, Republican operatives, and that black guy from The Thompson Twins

9. Ends all correspondence with the disturbing sign-off, Yours, Until the Faceless Ones Find Me

8. Has gots them "spooky-eyes"

7. Is very careful about collecting and incinerating all his hair- and nail- trimmings so that Paul Wolfowitz can't clone him and "pull the old Zell Miller special"

6. Is working on a "fascinating" new economic theory he calls "The Redrum Postulate"

5. Now speaks chiefly in a lunatic gibberish of his own creation, a hodgepodge of John Kerry campaign slogans and cursewords from Battlestar: Galactica; his next book will be titled Karl Rove is a Fracking Feldercarb

4. The last "column" he submitted to the Times was a sculpture of President Bush composed entirely of animal excrement and bloody dentistry tools

3. Claims to have an invisible friend named "Wiggy," a seven-foot-tall demonic rabbit who's very concerned about media consolidation

2. Keeps asking his friends when they'll make the sequel to A Beautiful Mind, in which John Nash at last sees through the lies of his "wife" and "psychiatrists" and finally tracks down those Russkie atomic bombs

...and the Number One Sign Paul Krugman Has Lost His Friggin' Mind...

1. Seems to be buying into his own bullshit

Thanks to Dianna for the tip on York's column.

posted by Ace at 05:43 PM

Comments

Good stuff but I couldn't get into it as much as I wanted to, distracted as I am by the prospect of tonight's Santorum speech and the soon-to-follow Andrew Sullivan review.

Posted by: Allah on September 1, 2004 05:45 PM

God, not that picture again. Are you punishing me for that magic eight ball remark?

Posted by: Ken J on September 1, 2004 05:48 PM

great again, ace. you realize Keyes is about this batshit as well, just better dressed and well spoken. Hated to see Ryan out of that race. I still think the GOP underestimated the power of the male 18-35 vote going to Ryan specifically because he had sex with Seven of Nine.

Posted by: Jennifer on September 1, 2004 05:55 PM

Still kills, after all this time.
Over the moon, batshit crazy for shizza.

Posted by: Birkel on September 1, 2004 06:14 PM

Do you think we can get you a gig with Letterman? Cause that's some funny stuff, right there.

Posted by: RS on September 1, 2004 06:15 PM

Jennifer,

yes, I've been thinking about an Alan Keyes piece.

The only thing holding me back is cowardice-- the freak does has his fans.

Posted by: ace on September 1, 2004 06:15 PM

Ace --

As a fan of Keyes, I say, go for it. The man is either an absolute disgrace or an unhinged lunatic. (I don't buy the stalking horse theory Vodkapundit put forth today.) Carpetbagging in Iowa left a nasty taste in my mouth; oming out in favor of reparations was enough for me to turn on him; and the tactical retardation it must have taken for him to dub Cheney's daughter a "selfish hedonist" is quite enough for me to thirst to see him skewered through the liver and lights on the lethal tip of the Ace of Spades.

Posted by: Il Padrino on September 1, 2004 06:29 PM

Krugman has the look of a madman. It comes across clearly whenever he's interviewed on television. His facial expressions are uncoordinated and inappropriate. His tone of voice often suggests a very tentative hold on his emotional control. And that sinister giggle is a dead giveaway.

Posted by: Sigmund on September 1, 2004 06:37 PM

11. Realizes that the Right has finally completed their 40 year plan to convince their Martian allies to build microscopic landing strips in his ass.

Posted by: Smack on September 1, 2004 07:41 PM

"The last "column" he submitted to the Times was a sculpture of President Bush composed entirely of animal excrement and bloody dentistry tools."

And that would be different from his previous columns how?

Posted by: physics geek on September 1, 2004 07:43 PM

What is still more amazing about Krugman's lunacy is that it has completely overwhelmed any competence he once wielded as an economist. One of the most important things macro-economics reveals is how many individuals with no direct links can easily form a unit that pursues a goal favorable to its members.

In other words, you don't need a VRWC to get the effects Krugman notes. Just a few traits in common, like, say, common decency, are more than sufficient to create macro effects.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on September 2, 2004 06:25 AM

...bloody dentistry tools...

heh.

Posted by: sonofnixon on September 2, 2004 08:06 AM

"...macro-economics reveals is how many individuals with no direct links can easily form a unit that pursues a goal favorable to its members."

So, when I check out a jeans sale at a local store, and find that the place is mobbed with women all buying jeans, and they sold out of everything in my size, it ISN'T evidence of a conspiracy against me? HAH.

I find it hard to believe they are all strangers. In fact, it is plain to see that some of them CAME IN THE SAME CAR TOGETHER, and know each other quite well. Some of them are even RELATED TO EACH OTHER!

I think I just shot your little pet theory full of holes there, chief. Sooo...Krugman is completely sane, and Henry Kissinger is the secret World Dictator and controls our very thoughts and bowel movements.

Bush, 10% margin, swoosh.

Posted by: lauraw on September 2, 2004 11:37 AM

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