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« Not-Very-Funny Top Ten Things Overheard In Liberal Circles | Main | Hoo Boy: Pakistan Says Some "High-Value" AQ Targets Already Arrested, To Be Revealed at a "Later Date" »
August 24, 2004

Update (Possibly a Spoiler) Regarding Iraqi Soccer Team

Click below to read on.


Iraqi Soccer Team Loses to Paraguay; Will Still Play for Bronze

... versus Italy.

THESSALONIKI, Greece - The Iraqi soccer team's improbable run at an Olympic gold medal ended Tuesday night with a 3-1 semifinal loss to Paraguay. The Iraqis still have a chance for a bronze, which would be their war-weary nation's first medal in 44 years.

...

Iraq and Italy will play for the bronze Friday night.

Just qualifying for the Olympics was a feat for the Iraqis, who have been unable to play home games since war began in March 2003. They clinched a berth in May, just three months after their country was reinstated by the International Olympic Committee.

This is a pretty amazing story. It's Hollywood-implausible, whether they medal or not.

If they do medal, it's even more amazing.

posted by Ace at 05:04 PM
Comments



I hope they get one. And I hope our media isn't sticking microphones in their faces and asking leading questions like, "Don't you have a problem with Bush using your team in an ad?"

Posted by: rdbrewer on August 24, 2004 05:23 PM

Iraq lost?

There will be an accounting, I hope.

Posted by: Cpl. Menno on August 24, 2004 05:37 PM

In related news, the Iraqi Soccer Coach did not have his hands cut off after this loss. Also, it was reported that the leading scorer's knees remained properly located in their sockets following the game. In addition, the goal tender allegedly retained his eyesight in advance of next year's World Cup competitions. Finally, the waterboy was not forced to spend a week sitting on the Black Chair for mistakenly replacing Gatorade with Powerade.

Also in other news, Iraqis in Najaf shouted "Death to America" as Muqtada al-Sadr's Mehdi Army continued to fight United States Marines for control of that oh-so-Holy City.

Dave
Arlington, Virginia

Posted by: Dave on August 24, 2004 05:55 PM

Oh no doubt about the leading questions. If they medal, Katie Couric will demand they appear before her greatness on the Today Show. Then she will ask leading questions and nod her head in that stupid puppy on the dashboard manner she has. She might even do that stupid foot thing she does as well.

I wish someone would leave her in Greece. Like, forever.

Posted by: Jennifer on August 24, 2004 06:07 PM

No doubt this is Bush's doing. He's obviously found another insidious way to heap suffering on the Iraqi people by arranging for their soccer team to come tantalizingly close to a gold medal, and then have it snatched away at the last minute by a team obviously filled with ringers provided by the Halliburton corporation.

Posted by: marc on August 24, 2004 07:09 PM

Bah, who cares. Punk on the radio spoiled the women's beach volleyball results. Matters not; I shall stare disturbingly at Misty May anyway.

Posted by: Joe R. on August 24, 2004 07:15 PM

You can take Misty May, she's definitely a'ight; but I shall reserve the majority of my disturbing stares for her seven-foot-tall teammate Marsh. And if I could offer one suggestion to improve women's beach volleyball - more team hugs and ass-slapping, please.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 24, 2004 07:28 PM

You mean Walsh. But yeah, she's damn cute. I like May for her bubble butt. The Unabrewer is an Ass Man.

Posted by: Joe R. on August 24, 2004 09:02 PM

They would have tried harder if they'd had to worry about Uday's prick up their ass

Posted by: jeff on August 24, 2004 11:43 PM

I'm suspicious of the timing of both the Iraqis wins, their loss and their upcoming medal round game.

I'm also quite suspicious that the US has more medals than any other country.

It's also quite suspicious that the Olympics will end just before the Republican National Convention actually begins.

Finally, I find it quite suspicious that the Republican National Convention begins on a Monday, traditionally the start of a new work week. Is Bush trying to tell us that he is a new beginning?

In the interests of fairness, it would be much better for the country if the Olympics, the Republican Convention, and all Mondays (along of course with any positive news whatsoever from anywhere about anything) be postponed until after the election, so that the media can focus on important issues like Abu Graib.

Posted by: Jimmy Page on August 25, 2004 09:22 AM

Walsh - that's it. I guess I'd melded May and Walsh in my brain, creating "Marsh" - a 6'2" volleyball Amazon with a whole lotta good junk in the trunk - you know what I mean. The volleyball's almost made up for all the men's gymanstics my wife made me watch.

Posted by: Rocketeer on August 25, 2004 09:25 AM

I thoroughly enjoyed the free girl-on-girl action they provided after they won.

Posted by: Joe R. on August 25, 2004 09:54 AM

Indeed. Aye caramba!

Posted by: Nick on August 25, 2004 11:22 AM
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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
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Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
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Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
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I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
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