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August 05, 2004
Kerry Vows: I Will Wage a "More Sensitive War on Terror"This ought to scare the beejesus out of them, all right: “I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side and lives up to American values in history.” Well, that's it for me. This is officially now a pro-Kerry blog. Like Sullivan, I just wanted him to tell me he'd be tough on terrorism. Related News!!! Following Senator Kerry's very-sensitive example, I hereby vow that I will wage a more sensitive war on Oliver "Filet-O-Fish" Willis, that I will pull my punches when I bitch-slap him, that I will enlist other weenies like Joshua Micah Marshall in my struggle against him, and that I will not pre-emptively attack him, but that any attack from him will invite a swift and certain response. Eh, fuck it. I'm going to kick him in his great big jiggly ass whenever the hell I feel like it. posted by Ace at 03:26 PM
Comments"We will hunt you down. And we will cuddle you!" Sen. John Edwards, revising his stump speech. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on August 5, 2004 03:32 PM
New Kerry slogan: "I'll use protection!" Couldn't suck worse than any of the rest he keeps trying. Posted by: ccwbass on August 5, 2004 03:47 PM
"Thoughtful" as in, "what will the French think?" "More proactive?" What's he gonna do, send in NINJAS?! "Sensitive?" We're ALREADY refusing to use bullets made in Israel. How sensitive can you get? Posted by: RapidTransit on August 5, 2004 03:48 PM
Kerry: I shop at the softer side of Sears! Posted by: Joel (No Pundit Intended) on August 5, 2004 03:54 PM
Is this more of that Elmo attack from the Convention? Posted by: Carl Crowley on August 5, 2004 03:56 PM
I'm still spitting in disgust over the "swift response if we are attacked" phrase. Now I'll need strong liquor to get the 'sensitive' taste out of my mouth. We're attacked, and Kerry thrashes around trying to figure out the proper, strongly worded admonition not to be naughty. Oh, please. Posted by: Dianna on August 5, 2004 04:09 PM
Kerry attack squad: Teenage Mutant Ninja Hamsters. Posted by: Sailor Kenshin on August 5, 2004 04:18 PM
"Sensitive war on terror"? Gotta love his metrosexual lexicon. Posted by: Mel on August 5, 2004 04:21 PM
Dollars to doughnuts Kerry's script--or whatever--prolly called for "more *sensible* war," but PC touchy-feely conditioned as he is, he slipped. Not that his uber-PC audience would ever even notice the gaffe. Those are committed only by Republicans; it's in the journalism stylebooks. Cordially... Posted by: Rick on August 5, 2004 04:26 PM
What else from Paper Cut Kerry?
Posted by: Greg on August 5, 2004 05:26 PM
I've been convinced all along that we need to combat terrorism with bubblebaths, aroma-therapy, and--most importantly--hugs. Finally, a candidate who speaks to me! Posted by: Sean M. on August 5, 2004 07:57 PM
If Kerry wins, will terrorists wanting to enter the U.S. be required to attend a sensitivity training class before receiving their visas? Posted by: Tongue Boy on August 6, 2004 11:43 AM
I'm sure Kerry will give him a big hug Posted by: SureJuJu on August 6, 2004 01:51 PM
you all are idiots who take quotes out of context and are too blind to see that bush is an absolute and utter failure on every important issue. if you all were bright enough to understand international relations, sociology, and politics, you all would realize what a complete failure bush really is. save the planet, more trees and less bush Posted by: fuckbush on October 3, 2004 01:40 AM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?" I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove Chris
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near Somebody else holds your heart, yeah You turn to me with your icy tears And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source" Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held. Basil the Great
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.
Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing. Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult. Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending. (((Dan Hodges))) Nick Lowles
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98. Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years. Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45 Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%. I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens. REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs. Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
![]() That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time. I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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