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August 03, 2004

Which SAT's Did He Take?

Kerry doesn't let an appearance go by without noting that People magazine once named Edwards the sexiest politician in the country. Between Edwards and Affleck, he said in Wheeling, "I kind of feel like that SAT question: 'Which one of these is different?' "

I don't remember any "Which of these things is not like the others?" questions on my SAT's. I do remember such questions, but from Sesame Street and Kindergarten fun-time quizzes.

Brilliantly Nuanced and Complex Intellectual John Kerry hopes to point out further "SAT questions" in the coming weeks, such as:

Compare and Contrast the following two items: 1) Your ass, 2) a hole in the ground.

TRUE OR FALSE: It is safe and fun to take a pair of scissors and jam them into your soft palate.

ODD/EVEN NUMBERS: Identify whether each of the following are EVEN (evenly divisible by 2), ODD (not evenly divisible by 2), or NOT A NUMBER at all:

a) 2

b) 7

c) 31

d) an antelope

e) 4

f) former LA Dodgers pitching great Fernando Venezeula

g) 336

h) Emilio Estevez

i) 52

j) the bassline of KISS's Lick it Up

Do bears shit in the woods? a) Yes b) No c) It cannot be determined from the information provided.

Would you like a cookie? a) Yes b) No c) It cannot be determined from the information provided.

Should we have gone to war with Iraq? a) Yes b) No c) It cannot be determined from the information provided.

Hat-tip to NRO's The Corner.

More: Da Goddess is also featuring some "SAT questions," apparently from the "Can you guess what I'm thinking?" section (which, if memory serves, followed the Antonyms).

posted by Ace at 07:30 PM

Comments

You have to give Kerry credit for recognizing that no one will ever mistake him for sexy.

Posted by: Aaron on August 3, 2004 07:33 PM

What is "sweet pooter pie"? Is it the same as a cow patty?

Posted by: Maranna on August 3, 2004 07:41 PM

Maranna,

Nope, not by a long shot. I changed that one, by the way, since it was rude.

("Pooter" is my term for a girl's naughty bits.)

Posted by: ace on August 3, 2004 07:43 PM

I hear ya. Why do you think I cackled like that insane hyena in "Lion King" when I saw the Kerry and Dean bumper stickers on a Mercedes?

Posted by: Da Goddess on August 3, 2004 07:46 PM

A link, Ace. We need a link. But brilliant, as always.

Posted by: Jeff B. on August 3, 2004 07:52 PM

Ace, you forgot the "analogies" section of the SAT:

For example,

Kerry:Edwards as:

a) Peppermint Patty:Marcie
b) Ben Affleck:Jennifer Lopez
c) Oliver Willis:Filet-o-Fish
d) Sigfried:Roy
e) McGovern:Shriver

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on August 3, 2004 08:13 PM

f) George Michael: Thay other guy in Wham!

Posted by: Brian B on August 3, 2004 08:15 PM

What a coincidence. Today on Hugh Hewitt's show a caller brought up that Kerry's actual college grades were less than boastworthy, kind of like that other politician the left loves to hate. The one who is a distant cousin to Kerry.

Posted by: Eric Pobirs on August 3, 2004 08:54 PM

Jay Leno showed the clip of that so-called joke last night. The delivery was even worse than the joke, if that's possible. Leno's quip was "My job is safe."

Posted by: Joe R. on August 3, 2004 09:00 PM

A C-average.

Posted by: sonofnixon on August 3, 2004 10:22 PM

I've always thought the DimocRAT leadership was dumb as a sack of wet hammers, now I know it.

Posted by: Mr. Bowen on August 4, 2004 01:44 AM

These questions remind me of Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL...

There was one where Trebek asks them to just say something - anything - and they win. None of them could answer correctly.

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