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« No Slowdown for Ramp-Up: Businesses Plan Even More Hiring in Third Quarter | Main | What's the Deal With Drudge? »
June 15, 2004

Go Read Kaus

Kaus' postings today are all compulsively readable.

One thing I don't like about the amateur leftist newsletter Slate is the artificial and strained attitude they force into their pieces. Most magazines, even amateur leftist newsletters, strive for some sort of defining style; Slate has decided its defining pose is Revenge of the Dweeb. Its tone is smug and nasty and stinks of adolescent revenge fantasy, i.e., One day I'll have a cool job at a cool magazine and I'll get back at all those jocks and swells who called me "gaywad."

If Maureen Dowd's pose is the feathered-earring-wearing cool-chick-who's-also-clever shooting spitballs at the teacher's back, Slate's collective pose is the arrogant, despised nastygeek picking his nose and wiping it on your sandwich when you're not looking and then writing about this great triumph in his Dream Journal.


Now, Mickey Kaus sort of has that smug tone, too. But he actually manages what the nastygeeks never can, which is remaining charming while sticking in the dagger.

Kaus tears apart that idiotic New York Times puff-piece so relentlessly promoted by Drudge last week. He finds that there's absolutely nothing of value in the whole piece:

Does Even John Kerry Deserve Jodi Wilgoren? Jodi Wilgoren's Sunday front page NYT piece goes beneath the surface to uncover the

"many facets of Mr. Kerry's style and personality that [are] all but invisible to most voters in this era of stage-managed politics, where authentic insights into the people who would be president are precious few."

There's a self-puffing, expectations-raising billboard graf! And what does Wilgoren come up with after her "observations on the campaign trail over several months, combined with interviews with politicians and aides who spend time by his side"? Kerry polishes his speeches. He talks a lot on the phone. He went to an aide's wedding! Wow! That's journalistic gold. ...

P.P.S.: I forgot--Kerry also bowled an orange down the aisle of his campaign plane! Gee, no candidate's ever done that before. When a reporter resorts to describing the "orange bowling" ritual that's been going on since at least the Hart campaign of 1984, it's a sure sign of desperation. .

...For that matter, Wilgoren doesn't tell us any of the "multisyllabic uppercrust" phrasings she says Kerry uses, or any of the "pop culture" he's "up on," or any of the "unfamiliar words" a campaign intern had to look up (as his "main responsibility"--another "authentic" detail that reeks of B.S.). Doesn't the NYT have an editor with the power to write "Example, pls"?]

What Tim Noah and the rest of the nonentities at Slate don't realize is that sarcasm has its time and place; not every fucking sentence you write either should or can drip with sarcasm. They attempt to disguise the fact that they have nothing interesting to say by writing in an "edgy," "highly-attitudinal" style.

It's like listening to Richard Belzer deliver a eulogy to Reagan. "Yeah, right. Reagan. Star Wars. Right. Yeah. Ronny Ray-Gun. Right. Ketchup is a vegatable. Yeah, right. Oswald shot Kennedy. Yeah, right."

There's a time and place for sarcasm, and Kaus, unlike the rest of the useless crew at Slate, seem to understand that restriction.

Anyway, back to the article Kaus disses. I love that she fills the piece with so many general claims, and yet doesn't provide the specific, tangible examples that would make her generalities come alive. Specifics are the lifeblood of reporting, but apparently this reporter didn't get that memo. As Kevin Pollack might say, she was absent the day they taught journalism at j-school.

Oh wait-- she did nail down one specific. There is that hi-larious orange-bowling incident.

Great takedown. The NYT is, of course, the greatest newspaper in the history of the world.

Now, if only Kaus could cure his bad case of the slammies, and knock it off with that "isn't this cute?" back-and-forth repartee with his editor... [But don't you find that the editorial banter is part of his defining style? -- ed. No, I don't. I think it's a distraction. And, by the way, who the fuck are you? I don't have an editor. Oh, right, sorry.-- ed.]

posted by Ace at 03:03 AM
Comments



Ace: I believe it is spelled vegEtable.

P.S. The Belzer bit was hilarious.

Posted by: Kerry Is Unelectable on June 15, 2004 07:19 AM

Good piece. Hits all of its marks.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos on June 15, 2004 08:22 AM


>Maureen Dowd's pose is the feathered-earring-wearing cool-chick-who's-also-clever

Make that cool-chick-wannabe

Posted by: milkmaid on June 15, 2004 09:12 AM

"Slate's collective pose is the arrogant, despised nastygeek picking his nose and wiping it on your sandwich when you're not looking and then writing about this great triumph in his Dream Journal."

I have a thing about boogers. I can no longer eat at Subway after reading that.

Posted by: Golden Boy on June 15, 2004 10:40 AM

John Cole exerpted another part of this NYT piece that jumped off the screen at me. (I know, Ace, the sarcastic/snide/post-ironic Slate schtick wears thin.)

Anyway, in the continuing prose/fellation, the reporter gushes that Kerry spends time "strumming on a Spanish classical guitar" and he's "learning a new (old) song, 'This Land Is Your Land.'"

Astounding. Utterly astounding.

First, how long does it take to learn three chords? Major chords--not minor, dimished, augmented, seventh, ninth, etc. Straight I-IV-V progression. All right, non-musos can pass on that one.

Second, why would this song be "new (old)" to Kerry? I'd wager that anyone who's ever posted on any of Ace's threads could come up with a few lines of this old chestnut. Didn't we all sing this song in elementary school? C,mon, this song has been in the American music pantheon for probably 75 years.

This incredibly lame attempt to portray Kerry as complex but down-to-earth guy only succeeds in unwittingly revealing that Kerry's priviledged, Swiss boarding school upbringing is about as far removed from the average american's as his gold-digging wife's.

More vomit and effluvia from the NYT.

Posted by: kelly on June 15, 2004 03:43 PM

This land is your land
This land is my land
From California
To the New York Islands
From the Red Wood Forests
To the Gulf Stream Waters
This Land was made for you and me.

Posted by: Vickie on June 16, 2004 02:04 PM
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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove
Chris
@chriswithans

aaahahaa.jpg


"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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