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The Morning Report — 8/ 31 /26
Daily Tech News 31 August 2026 Sunday Overnight Open Thread - August 30, 2026 Gun Thread: Final August Edition! Food Thread: Filet Mignon With Ramen? Sure...Why Not? First World Problems... Warrantless Surveillance Is An Unalloyed Evil, And Cannot Be Justified By Claiming A Reduction In Crime The Book Thread: August 30th, 2026 [MP4] Daily Tech News 30 August 2026 Saturday Night Club ONT - August 29, 2026 [Disco & Dino] Absent Friends
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June 11, 2004
Update on Kurd-Shi'a SplitIraq's new president, seeking to calm tensions between his nation's Shi'ites and Kurds, pledged yesterday that promises of Kurdish autonomy in the country's interim constitution will be honored. "Iraq will be a free and democratic federal country. Federalism has been accepted by all Iraqis," Ghazi Mashal Ajil al-Yawer said during his first visit to Washington since being named to the largely ceremonial post last week. "The Kurdish demands are for federalism," he said at a press conference. "Federalism brings two pieces of a country and glues them together. This is what our brethren, the Kurds, want and we have to respect that. We're going to abide by" the interim constitution approved in March. Kurdish leaders threatened this week to pull out of the new Iraqi government if their hopes for autonomy are thwarted. But Mr. al-Yawer insisted that reports of strife within the government were "baseless." He insisted that reports of strife within the government were "baseless"? Baseless? One-third of the country threatens to secede and he calls that "baseless"? This is an obvious lie designed to hide serious problems within the government from the Iraqi people via deceptive media relations. And this comes just a week after they pandered to the illegal militias by promising them high-paying, cushy government jobs. You know, I think the Iraqis are getting the hang of this "democracy" thing after all. Now, we just need a high-level sex scandal. When that happens, you know: This Iraqi Project is going to work. posted by Ace at 03:53 AM
CommentsFrom the blog of Baghdadienne: May 29th: AC paid me $400 to bring my little brother in for a round of "camel style" loving. I was, like, so morally conflicted about pimping my straight little brother, but a girl has to buy "Sex and the City" DVD's. Right? June 1st: AC's been accused of spying for Iran! I'm bummed, because this means my little brother's butt is no longer a "cash-camel" for me. How am I supposed to get by on $25,000 a year? June 3rd: Hmm..someone named "Wonkette" is writing about me. She seems to like butt loving. And bashing Republicans. Maybe if I add a couple new entries she'll keep "coming back", if you know what I mean... June 4th: So, I met with G (who is on duty at something called the Abu Ghraib detention facility) on my lunch hour today. He took me down to the lowest level and we played a game he likes to call "Rumpy for Rummy". It involves him doing me up the poop shoot, while a bunch of hooded prisoners "jiggle the figs" in order to give me a "21 gun salute". Ohh, and he gave me $400 and an absentee ballot already filled out. June 5th: Looks like my career in government may be coming to an "end". Wonkette has "outed me". Bummer. But Ana says I could have a career and faux lesbo shots, and she's willing to help!!! It's nice to have friends like that, even though we havent ever met. June 7th: Faux lesbo shots are HOT!!! PLayboy is calling. Will pay top $$$ for me and AMC together. I'm all for it. Deal is still up in the air, because AMC appears to think that our asses need their own agents. I mean, I know they are hot and all, but their own agents? Why should I have to compete with my butt for gigs? And why does she keep saying "butterface"? June 9th: AMC has dropped me like a rock. (Or gone down on me like Rock Hudson, maybe?) In any event, she won't return my e-mails anymore. Well, at least this gives me a chance to rest my ass. I hear there is a new blog called Wankette HQ that is "right up my alley" and a girl's gotta be tight if she wants to make a good first impression. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on June 11, 2004 01:39 PM
Hah. Senator, email me when you get the chance. Thanks. Posted by: ace on June 11, 2004 01:46 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.
TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively
This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..."
[Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]
Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."
Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure. Recent Comments
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