Saturday Night Club ONT - August 8, 2026 [Disco & Dino]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino.

Come in in, grab a drink or 3. Keep it light and friendly. The moose will excuse miscreants, bullies and trolls.

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A gynecologist noticed that his new patient seemed a little nervous, so he decided to lighten the mood.

As he pulled on a pair of latex gloves, he smiled and asked, "Do you know how these gloves are made?"

The woman shook her head. "No, I don't."

The doctor said, "There's a factory in Mexico where people with all different hand sizes dip their hands into liquid latex. They let it dry, then peel the latex off their hands, and that's how the gloves are made."

The woman didn't smile. She just stared at him with a blank expression...

The doctor thought his little joke had completely fallen flat.

A few seconds later, however, she suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Curious, the doctor asked, "What's so funny?"

Still laughing, she wiped away a tear and replied, "I'm sorry, Doctor... I was just imagining how they make condoms!"

-----

A woman is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up.

She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"

The doctor replies, "Well, women have been having babies for a million years without a doctor in attendance. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."

The blonde interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"

Drink of the Night

Great White Buffalo

Hat tip: JQ

Club ONT Department of Bewb Inspectors

Tour de France riders accused of cheating with bigger, padded bras - with teams calling for inspections

Cycling's newest performance enhancer isn't in a syringe - but in a sports bra.

Accusations of padded bras that can give women's Tour de France competitors an aerodynamic advantage are flying through the cycling world as breast and cup size bizarrely gets debated and even complaints get filed.

Dutch news outlet Wielerflits reported that several complaints have come in from women's WorldTeams about female cyclists allegedly exploiting their breast size by faking a larger cup size to use more padding in their bras during time trials.

In complaints made to the UCI, teams want female padded bra inspectors to come in and check the riders in a closed tent to "ensure they are not hiding anything in their bras or under their aero clothing."

In unrelated news, Club ONT will be installing a tent out back shortly. Apologies for the inconvenience during installation.

Club ONT Department of Animal Affairs

Marmot hitches 75-mile road in Alberta man's car

An Alberta man said a marmot he found investigating the inside of his garage had apparently stowed away in his car for a 75-mile trip.

Chris Ratzlaff said his child alerted him to the presence of a large rodent in the family's Airdrie garage last week.

"It was hiding in a corner, and at first I thought it was maybe a porcupine, so I left the garage door open for it to leave," Ratzlaff told CTV News. "When it left, we could see that it was a marmot."

He said the marmot had apparently stowed away on a recent 75-mile drive from Kananaskis.

AOP - is that you?

Club ONT Half-Time Entertainment

Hard to believe that synchronized walking is a thing, but here we are.

Club ONT Department of Math

Club ONT Department of Patriotic Tools

We're not done with USA-250 stuff yet!

THESE LIMITED EDITION KLEIN TOOLS PLIERS CELEBRATE AMERICA'S 250TH BIRTHDAY

The Klein Tools 250th Edition Diagonal Cutting Pliers have a red, white, and blue colorway on the handles, with red and white on one and blue and white on the other. Functionally, however, these are the same Journeyman handles that Klein Tools customers will be familiar with. Klein complements the special colors with a laser-etched legend that states "250 USA Est. 1776" on the jaws, alongside a stylized version of Stars and Stripes above it.

Free lifetime restroom token to any Hordeling with video evidence of using a pair of these to cut wires of a Flock camera.

Club ONT Jukebox

Let's spin some 90s stuff tonight!

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