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Top Headlines

Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton?
I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.

TJM definitively ranks the films of Mel Brooks

Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!

TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein

Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more!

Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection.
This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday

Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.

1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show.
She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference.

Tim Curry, actor, butler, evil space clown and gay space vampire, and judge on American Duos, dies at age 80 after poor health due to a stroke in 2012

Dolly Parton: Stairway To Heaven
[CBD]

Dolly Parton Dies at 80
[CBD]

TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively

Candace Owens joins the Scooby Gang

An Inappropriate Use of the Song "Holiday Road"
Another inappropriate use

Tuq'r Qarlson: "I never mention Ben Shapiro because I don't think about him." Status: FALSE.

This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD]

Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution
"All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb."

Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope!

Google finally gets one right

Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real."
Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit.
Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?)
I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.

Recent Comments

four seasons: " So we have a stupid bitch who says abortion is a ..."

Art Fern: "Because we have to have the 60 Tea Time votes!!! ..."

Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "271 I hope it is clear what I'm saying. This sugge ..."

mindful webworker - tell you my secret, I'm always a shlub: "I was going to comment, Ruffalo is a low-T shlub i ..."

Axeman: " I hope it is clear what I'm saying. This suggests ..."

Hadrian the Seventh : " Tom Brady's first season behind the microphone h ..."

Delurker: "Chief Justice John Roberts did not argue that thos ..."

Gref: "268 Maybe CBS believed they were behind in the Num ..."

tcn in AK: "Tom Brady's first season behind the microphone he ..."

Biff Pocoroba: "Maybe CBS believed they were behind in the Number ..."

Riverside County: "Elsinore! Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at Septem ..."

Axeman: "IDON'TLIKEIT has never been a legal stance for any ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Cats & Dogs Cafe Iranian-Descended Loudmouth Communist Moron Mark Ruffalo Accused of Antisemitism Quick Hits Trump: We Shot Down All Eight Ballsitic Missiles Iran Shot at Our Base in Jordan, and Are Now Hitting Them Very Hard Muskily-Heterosexual James Talarico in 2020: Capitalism Is "Oppressive," Texas Must Stop Producing Oil Massachusetts "Man" Who Speaks Only Portuguese Arrested for Strangling a Woman After She Refused to Have Sex With Him; He Says He Strangled Her "by Accident" after Going "Crazy" Jury Deadlocked and Can't Decide if It's a Crime for a Mother to Murder Her Children The Tuesday Morning Rant Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 9/ 1 /26 Absent Friends Captain Whitebread 2026 Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« Ministry of Silly Links \| Main \| New Blog on the Block » June 09, 2004 41% Now Rate Economy As Either "Luscious" or "Stacked" Up three points since last week. 40% still rate the economy as either "unappealing" or "snaggle-toothed." There would seem to be a very hot, very sexy tumescence developing in the economy, as it wantonly strains against the fabric of public opinion. Update: Gallup confirms the trend, now showing a +14 "spread" between those who rate the economy as "pulsing" or "throbbing," versus those who rate the economy as "drooping" or "floppy-nutted." That's much better than the "limp" +2 "spread" at the past reading. posted by Ace at 09:14 PM Comments Snicker, guffaw, chortle...oh, what the hell, great big belly laugh. Keeps me comin' back, Ace. Keeps me comin' back. Posted by: kelly on June 9, 2004 09:54 PM Very sexy! Please, include more weiners whenever possible. Posted by: Keith on June 9, 2004 10:30 PM LOL Since there's no where else to post this, I'm going to go completely off point and ask this: Did anyone watching the funeral coverage today notice that Michael Reagan was not sitting with the other Reagan children? But apparently the late Maureen's husband WAS sitting there (with his new fiancee)? I can't this addressed anywhere else, and when I think of answers, I think ACE. Posted by: Scout on June 9, 2004 11:04 PM UGH! There was supposed to be a "find" between "can't" and "this" in my above post. Sorry. Posted by: Scout on June 9, 2004 11:06 PM I sense.....BOOK DEAL! Because WANKETTE HQ can really write, and this new format is so edgy. Let me know if you need an agent, Wankette. I know some folks in New York City who would think this is all no big deal. Posted by: Senator PhilABuster on June 9, 2004 11:20 PM I agree. Book deal is definitely in the offing. But when is Ace going to break out the Pulp Fiction reference? You know the one I'm talking about... Posted by: Smack on June 10, 2004 12:42 AM Ace, Ace, Ace.... See the problem is that you're looking at the wrong sources. Why that fine fair and balanced newspaper, the Washington Post has the following story on the web today: Bush Not Profiting From Revived U.S. Economy Click on the link and you get this front page story: Economy Provides No Boost for Bush Foreign Policy Concerns Hurt Approval Ratings By Jonathan Weisman Washington Post Staff Writer Thursday, June 10, 2004; Page A01 Click Here For the Story So you see, now that they can no longer hide the economic news, they're simply telling us that people, nay not just people, but Bush's people, actual Republicans who voted for Bush last time around just don't believe it's along-term thing. If people who allegedly supported Bush in 2000 don't believe it, why should anyone? Funny, I don't remember getting a call on this, did anyone else here get a call? (Oh, and the above post is sex related, since the Washington Post is just asking us to bend over like Washingtonienne. I probably won't get no $400 though...) Posted by: Jimmy Page on June 10, 2004 10:08 AM Funny, I don't remember getting a call on this, did anyone else here get a call? Not me. They're just talking out of their ass (hah!). Posted by: Smack on June 10, 2004 12:54 PM Senator PhilABuster, Are you really in contact with agents? If so, please let me know. Actually, that goes for anyone. Anyone who knows an agent or an editor would be doing me a huge favor by letting me know. Jimmy, Thanks. I blogged that. Posted by: ace on June 10, 2004 04:25 PM Geezsh. I'll bet the economy doesn't call me in the morning, either. Posted by: Emma on June 10, 2004 04:38 PM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either. TJM definitively ranks the films of Mel Brooks Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85 RIP and Roll Out! TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein Podcast: Dolly Parton...an American classic, Michigan's El Sayed is part of our future destruction, More Global Warming nonsense, mail-in balloting restrictions, Darline Graham? Get rid of family dynasties...and more! Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut" What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath. 1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class" Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference. Tim Curry, actor, butler, evil space clown and gay space vampire, and judge on American Duos, dies at age 80 after poor health due to a stroke in 2012 Dolly Parton: Stairway To Heaven [CBD] Dolly Parton Dies at 80 [CBD] TJM talks about the films of Ralph Bakshi, director of the animated The Lord of the Rings and ranks them definitively Candace Owens joins the Scooby Gang An Inappropriate Use of the Song "Holiday Road" Another inappropriate use Tuq'r Qarlson: "I never mention Ben Shapiro because I don't think about him." Status: FALSE. This Senator Fought Wildfires From Planes. Now He's Fighting Activists and Bureaucrats "senator tim sheehy on the 'unholy alliance' of environmental rules and activism that's preventing firefighters from doing their jobs..." [Hat Tip: Pete Bog] [CBD] Dude trolls a city council meeting about permitting yet another mosque by promising the mosque will destroy the Constitution "All women who are overweight or obese will have to wear burka. 10,000 steps per day, low carb." Podcast: Will Cuba fall without a fight? More Iran confusion, gun rights for felons isn't a crazy idea, wetbacks are voting! And are data centers of the devil? Nope! Google finally gets one right Months ago, I reported that the final Zodiac cypher had been cracked and the name of the killer revealed. And the name of the killer turned out to be someone suspected in the unsolved Black Dahlia murder. The general tone of my mention of this was "serious you guys, this is real." Well, it's not real. It's total bullshit. Sorry about that. I did two things: 1, I bought into something, a conspiracy theory really, because it was new and exciting. And 2, I allowed a self-declared "expert" to snow me over with his "expert" claims about solving ciphers, an alleged expertise I could not challenge because I know practically nothing about codebreaking. I remember being similarly swindled by self-declared "experts" babbling about "chromatic aberrations." (Although I didn't really buy into that, but I found it "interesting" and I wasn't strongly skeptical about it. Hey they said they're "experts," they must know that they're talking about, right?) I screwed up. It won't be the last time, I'm sure. Recent Comments four seasons: " So we have a stupid bitch who says abortion is a ..." Art Fern: "Because we have to have the 60 Tea Time votes!!! ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "271 I hope it is clear what I'm saying. This sugge ..." mindful webworker - tell you my secret, I'm always a shlub: "I was going to comment, Ruffalo is a low-T shlub i ..." Axeman: " I hope it is clear what I'm saying. This suggests ..." Hadrian the Seventh : " Tom Brady's first season behind the microphone h ..." Delurker: "Chief Justice John Roberts did not argue that thos ..." Gref: "268 Maybe CBS believed they were behind in the Num ..." tcn in AK: "Tom Brady's first season behind the microphone he ..." Biff Pocoroba: "Maybe CBS believed they were behind in the Number ..." Riverside County: "Elsinore! Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at Septem ..." Axeman: "IDON'TLIKEIT has never been a legal stance for any ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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41% Now Rate Economy As Either "Luscious" or "Stacked"