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Muldoon: A Last Limerick
NeverTrump hero Evan McMullin: Hillary Clinton is right, Tulsi is a Russian agent
Everyone who disagrees with the liberal DC consensus is a Russian, a Racist, or a Russian Racist.
Dancing in the Streets, No Music Silent Video Version
Really funny. It's old, but still funny.
Mitt Romney, who is America's number one geopolitical foe, claims Turkey is a "small country"
Kyle Sheideler responds that he is anti-Turkey and doesn't wish them to be a part of NATO, but Mitt Romney should stick to giving gay kids haircut rapes, because Turkey has the second largest army in all of NATO, after only the US. If that's "small," what would "big" be?
When I was in Beirut, I was surprised to learn that Arabs felt insecure because there was not a single Arab great power capable of doing much more than defend its own borders (if even that). No Arab powers-- not even in the Middle East? No, I was told by a professor. There are three great powers in the Middle East, but not a single one of them is Arab. One is Israel -- obviously not Arab. One is Iran. They're Persians. And one is Turkey, who are not Arabs but Turks.
Anyway, it's strange to hear Mitt Romney, America's Number One Geopolitical Foe, get something so absurdly wrong as to call Turkey, one of the three Great Powers of the Middle East, a "small country" that we don't need to pay no mind to.
Quick funny story from Tim Pool, explaining why social media "fact-checking" is trash -- it's because they rely on trash outlets, like CNN and MSNBC (and the SPLC and Snopes!), to decide what is true and what is not true, despite CNN and MSNBC being absurdly biased and wrong more often than right.
The quick story he tells (about a minute long) is about Wikipedia's insistence that he himself "invented a zeppelin" -- something some trash outlet made up. It's not derogatory -- who wouldn't want to be credited as a zeppelin inventor? -- but it's completely false and without even a some distorted factual basis.
But no matter how many times Pool tells them "I never invented any zeppelin, you should delete that," they keep the false zeppelin-inventing biographical point, because Tim Pool is not considered a "credible source" on Tim Pool's zeppelin-inventing career or lack of same.
HuffPo says you invented a zeppelin, and who are you compared to the warriors of truth we know as HuffPo?
PBS "News" Hour "journalist" is very, very angry that Trump... posted a respectful remembrance of Elijah Cummings?
Psst, little open secret: It's the Paul Ryan types who keep PBS and NPR funded. Everything for the Suburban Wine Moms.
Video about your eyes' and brain's own color-correction function -- in other words, explaining the "What Color Is This Dress?" controversy
Even if you remember the gist of the explanation about the blue-black or white-gold dress, this video is still sort of illuminating (pun intended)
They gimmicked up another case of colors looking different to different people. This video can help you see something in ambiguous lighting in two different ways.
By the way, it worked for me.
SJW Fascist: Let's ban children's Stormtrooper costumes Because Nazi and Because Trump
This is inspired by Ivanka Trump's son wearing the costume. Now it's #problematic and must be #cancelled.
Tim Pool: YouTube is suppressing all videos which mention James O'Keefe's sting videos, imposing Chinese-style speech restrictions to make James O'Keefe officially Unmentionable and erased from all public discussion
All hail our Social Media Monopoloy Overlords. Who just happen to be working to protect Legacy Media Overlords.
Tim Pool also notes in this video that Twitter is refusing to give primary challengers a Blue Check, which the incumbents already have, delivering a huge advantage to incumbents and a big disadvantage to challengers.
Cvckshed Query: My girlfriend is going to meet her favorite niche-band rock-singer from the 90s, and then she's going to fvck him until she sees crooked and can't walk right. Am I being a dick for being upset about this?
Hmm, the letter is signed "Definitely not JG [insert Simpsons reference]."
I wonder what that cryptic hint could mean. oh well I guess we'll never know.
Vid: "Hysterical" and emotional child Greta Thunberg needs to grow up some
Someone else made this point: Greta Thunberg is a sixteen year old girl. Yet her parents insist on dressing her as if she's 8. Including the little-girl braids. Is this part of the stagecraft?
The CW's heavily-promoted Batwoman -- a character blurbed by the network as "armed with a passion for social justice and a flair for speaking her mind" -- plummets in second week ratings, becoming the CW's lowest-viewed superhero show
Supergirl, which I also hear is a #WokeFest, also tanked in ratings.
I'm going to guess all of these shows are slipping in ratings. They're just not good. Update: Yup. The Flash show dropped in ratings too.
Let's check the difference between #Woke internet reviewers and the audience at Rotten Tomatoes: 69% positive for Batwoman from #Woke Mary Sue types, 12% from the audience.
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November 01, 2004

Oliver Willis, You Are Now Officially My Bitch

WARNING: Utterly self-serving. You probably shouldn't bother reading any further. This is between me and Filet-O-Fish.


I just got the certification from the state Department of Corrections. According to this document duly executed by Governor Pataki, I am now entitled to punk you out for Marlboro Reds, "Odub," if I should so choose.

And, of course, I will so choose.

I want to thank all the bloggers linking me, and all the readers coming here to put up with my abject stupidty and desperate longing for attention. Although I started blogging to start getting some of that crazy blog-money I'd heard about (by the way-- many thanks!), and to find some way of getting a screenplay sold, the main, proximate impetus for beginning this blog was reading Oliver Willis.

I could not believe this talentless, thoughtless hack was not only getting traffic, but the occasional mention from newspapers. True, the mentions tended to be from college papers and the various free presses that no one reads, but still.

"How can this idiot be getting read, while I'm just sitting here trolling for porn?" I thought to myself. "If that idiot is getting so much unwarranted attention, can't I get some unwarranted attention, too?"

The guy just isn't funny. And I mean that. There are some guys who you don't laugh at but you're not ready to say they're not funny-- they just have a different sense of humor. They're too dry, too "witty," too whatever. You would just say, "Okay, I don't find him funny, but tastes vary."

But Willis actually has a similar sense of humor to mine-- third-grade-to-middle-school playground taunting and rank-outs, plus a lot of stupid pop culture references.

It's just that he's... not good at it. So I'm pretty confident when I declare that he is, in fact, not-funny, and always has been not-funny.

Anyway, it took a lot longer than I expected, but I've finally beat him in both important categories simultaneously:

Ahead in links (in Playful Primates).

Ahead in traffic.

So, "Odub," still worried that by linking this tiny little blog you'll give me some of your scary-big traffic?

You should know I've got big plans for you, Ollie. I think I'm going to keep you as my main bitch, rather than just punking you out for speed.

I will make you the top ass-clown in the Travelling Ace of Spades Psycho-Sexual Circus, and you will be forced to perform unspeakable acts on monkeys, elephants, and maybe some pumas, if I can find some pumas.

They're hard to find, pumas are. Try looking. See? No pumas. We live in a virutally puma-free environment, sadly enough.

And then I will grab your skinny, weak, mantis-like arms and force you to slap yourself in the face, all the while saying "Why are you hitting yourself, Ollie? Stop hitting yourself! Please, for the love of everything holy, stop slapping yourself!"

Okay. Now for the big game: Marshall and Sullivan.

Trickier. Much trickier. I actually should probably set my sites lower, but I don't know any idiots that are about halfway between Willis and those two retards.

Thanks again to all the bloggers and readers who have helped make this dream of mine come true.

Yeah, I know. It's not really much of a dream. It's pretty pathetic, when you think about it. One could make the case that I'm the douchebag for deciding that beating the likes of Oliver Willis would be my bar for success.

Still-- thanks. It's nice to have even an embarassing, retarded dream come true now and again.

Ironic Acknowledgment: Based on the number of new blogs linking me, I can only deduce that a good sized number of people have the same reaction to me-- "Hey, this guy Ace is obviously a moron, and a porn-obsessed dork besides; ergo, I can easily beat him at his own retarded game."

You're probably right. I don't take it as an insult, though. I think that's how people motivate themselves-- you always need some untalented dumb-ass you can do a better job than to motivate you to try.

OTOH, with me and Filet-O-Fish, it really is meant as an insult. You might think I'm a moron, but you probably have a grudging respect for what I've accomplished with my dimwitted immaturity. I just don't respect Ollie at all.

posted by Ace at 01:36 PM