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Muldoon: A Last Limerick
Mitt Romney, who is America's number one geopolitical foe, claims Turkey is a "small country"
Kyle Sheideler responds that he is anti-Turkey and doesn't wish them to be a part of NATO, but Mitt Romney should stick to giving gay kids haircut rapes, because Turkey has the second largest army in all of NATO, after only the US. If that's "small," what would "big" be?
When I was in Beirut, I was surprised to learn that Arabs felt insecure because there was not a single Arab great power capable of doing much more than defend its own borders (if even that). No Arab powers-- not even in the Middle East? No, I was told by a professor. There are three great powers in the Middle East, but not a single one of them is Arab. One is Israel -- obviously not Arab. One is Iran. They're Persians. And one is Turkey, who are not Arabs but Turks.
Anyway, it's strange to hear Mitt Romney, America's Number One Geopolitical Foe, get something so absurdly wrong as to call Turkey, one of the three Great Powers of the Middle East, a "small country" that we don't need to pay no mind to.
Quick funny story from Tim Pool, explaining why social media "fact-checking" is trash -- it's because they rely on trash outlets, like CNN and MSNBC (and the SPLC and Snopes!), to decide what is true and what is not true, despite CNN and MSNBC being absurdly biased and wrong more often than right.
The quick story he tells (about a minute long) is about Wikipedia's insistence that he himself "invented a zeppelin" -- something some trash outlet made up. It's not derogatory -- who wouldn't want to be credited as a zeppelin inventor? -- but it's completely false and without even a some distorted factual basis.
But no matter how many times Pool tells them "I never invented any zeppelin, you should delete that," they keep the false zeppelin-inventing biographical point, because Tim Pool is not considered a "credible source" on Tim Pool's zeppelin-inventing career or lack of same.
HuffPo says you invented a zeppelin, and who are you compared to the warriors of truth we know as HuffPo?
PBS "News" Hour "journalist" is very, very angry that Trump... posted a respectful remembrance of Elijah Cummings?
Psst, little open secret: It's the Paul Ryan types who keep PBS and NPR funded. Everything for the Suburban Wine Moms.
Video about your eyes' and brain's own color-correction function -- in other words, explaining the "What Color Is This Dress?" controversy
Even if you remember the gist of the explanation about the blue-black or white-gold dress, this video is still sort of illuminating (pun intended)
They gimmicked up another case of colors looking different to different people. This video can help you see something in ambiguous lighting in two different ways.
By the way, it worked for me.
SJW Fascist: Let's ban children's Stormtrooper costumes Because Nazi and Because Trump
This is inspired by Ivanka Trump's son wearing the costume. Now it's #problematic and must be #cancelled.
Tim Pool: YouTube is suppressing all videos which mention James O'Keefe's sting videos, imposing Chinese-style speech restrictions to make James O'Keefe officially Unmentionable and erased from all public discussion
All hail our Social Media Monopoloy Overlords. Who just happen to be working to protect Legacy Media Overlords.
Tim Pool also notes in this video that Twitter is refusing to give primary challengers a Blue Check, which the incumbents already have, delivering a huge advantage to incumbents and a big disadvantage to challengers.
Cvckshed Query: My girlfriend is going to meet her favorite niche-band rock-singer from the 90s, and then she's going to fvck him until she sees crooked and can't walk right. Am I being a dick for being upset about this?
Hmm, the letter is signed "Definitely not JG [insert Simpsons reference]."
I wonder what that cryptic hint could mean. oh well I guess we'll never know.
Vid: "Hysterical" and emotional child Greta Thunberg needs to grow up some
Someone else made this point: Greta Thunberg is a sixteen year old girl. Yet her parents insist on dressing her as if she's 8. Including the little-girl braids. Is this part of the stagecraft?
The CW's heavily-promoted Batwoman -- a character blurbed by the network as "armed with a passion for social justice and a flair for speaking her mind" -- plummets in second week ratings, becoming the CW's lowest-viewed superhero show
Supergirl, which I also hear is a #WokeFest, also tanked in ratings.
I'm going to guess all of these shows are slipping in ratings. They're just not good. Update: Yup. The Flash show dropped in ratings too.
Let's check the difference between #Woke internet reviewers and the audience at Rotten Tomatoes: 69% positive for Batwoman from #Woke Mary Sue types, 12% from the audience.
Julie Kelly discusses the impotency of the NeverTrumpers with Seb Gorka
"Three men and a fax machine" she says of Messrs. Hayes, Goldberg, and French
Of course: Fake News ABC shows Turkish propaganda video, supposedly of Turkish forces advancing, but really of live fire at a Western gun range; ABC News refuses to issue on-air correction
Yes, they distinguish between "over the airwaves" -- which is what makes them a broadcasting operation, of course, and nothing little tweet corrections on the internet, which means nothing. This is what the Twitter Addict Jake Tapper Fanbois don't get -- sure, Jake Tapper will retweet a single post about some issue that hurts the Democrat party or his precious progressive/socialist movement. But these stories rarely make it to his actual show, the thing that counts in his mind, and counts in most people's minds, really, as the "real news," as opposed to some blow-off bullshit on Twitter.
Yet Jake Tapper's Twitter Fanbois are proud of themselves for lobbying Jakey to retweet something. They're very cheat dates -- 2 am bootycalls, really -- who won't insist on a proper date. You know, out in public. Meaning, on the air.
Opinion: The media desperately campaigned for Joker to fail -- and even tried to provoke a theater shooting to discredit Joker -- because the film is largely about the failure and evil of the media
That part of the analysis starts at 7:05. It should be cued up to that part.
I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but without getting into specifics, let's just say the media is as usual very, very concerned that something might provoke violence against the media specifically -- while being blithely unconcerned, or even downright enthusiastic, about provoking violence against those outside the Media Guild.
Oh, by the way, as the media's Plan A of stirring up a theater shooting didn't work out, they're going to their Plan B -- accusing the film of being about a White Man. Which, yes, is now apparently a crime.
Monday Morning Funny: Captain MAGA [dri]
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« Multiple Posts | Main | There's Guilty Television, And Then There's Bad Television. [Dave at Garfield Ridge] »
January 27, 2005
There's Guilty Television, And Then There's Bad Television. [Dave at Garfield Ridge]

Dear readers, I could spend time rehashing politics, or I could spend time discussing the real issues facing America today.

Issues like, is it wrong to think a whole bowl of Cool Whip is a dessert all by itself?

Or, if a fat woman asks me my opinion on her weight, is it wrong for me to give her the honest truth as long as I preface it with "I'm just sayin'"?

Or, is it wrong for me to spend every Thursday night in front of the television watching The O.C.?

Readers, that last admission is what I'd like to talk to you about tonight. The soap opera viewer has long been stereotyped as a young, weepy girl-- or an older woman, way past her prime. If men watch soap operas at all, they are, well. . . homosexual.

Now, I'm not homosexual-- not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I would be willing to learn, if that would get me posted someplace special.

So, what excuse does a thirty-year-old, relatively mature, responsible single heterosexual man have for watching The O.C.?

Well, there are hot chicks. And the writing is pretty damn funny. Plus it's got Peter "The Kosher Ham" Gallagher.

And. . . did I mention the hot chicks?

I will not apologize for asserting that, during its finest moments, The O.C. can be pretty cool. Even fatality cool.


Welcome to the O.C., bitch.

The reason I bring this up is not to talk about guilty television pleasures, but instead discuss THE MOST AWFUL TELEVISION SHOWS EVER. For instance, earlier today I brought up the classic un-hit show Manimal.

In the comments to that post, readers Skinbad and Pinky offered some suggestions to even worse shows, bringing up greats such as M.A.N.T.I.S., and The Man From Atlantis.

While I don't have a Patrick Duffy leg, I do have at least a working knowledge of bad television over the years.

So, what could top even Manimal as history's worst idea for a television show?

Street Hawk? Nope. Wishman? Nuh-uh. The Golden Girls? Perhaps. . . nah.

And, while we can all agree that the continuing adventures of the 4077th’s Radar O’Reilly as a New York City cop meets the definition of awful in anybody’s book, I still believe that there was one show out there worse than all the rest.


I bring you: Automan.

A computer game that comes to life? It all happens in Automan, an action-packed mystery with a sense of humor. Walter Nebicher (Desi Arnaz, Jr.), a computer genius who works for the New York City Police Department, designs computer games in the basement of his home in his spare time. His latest and most important creation is AUTOMAN, a hologram or three dimensional image that can be seen without a screen. Programmed as a super sleuth, AUTOMAN is the ultimate crime fighter. Unfortunately, AUTOMAN needs an enormous amount of power to appear so he doesn't always show up when Walter needs him the most. In addition, with the exception of a couple of important friends, no one at the police department really understands Walter or his computers. But that doesn't stop Walter or AUTOMAN, in their computer-generated AUTOCAR or AUTOPLANE, from solving crimes all around the world. And it certainly won't stop anyone from enjoying this fast-pace, very contemporary adventure.

Okay, let’s wade through the above press release.

Walter creates a computer-generated crime fighter. At home. In 1983.

With what? With 64K of memory? Hell, I’ve got 512MB of RAM lying at my feet—can someone please explain to me why I can’t generate the women of S Club 7?

Would someone please tell me what kind of computer do I have to buy in order to make Rachel Stevens appear before me wearing a Baroness outfit?

I love how the producers of Automan had to explain the concept of a “hologram.” I imagine a room full of stogie-chompin’ network executives whose last real laughs were in vaudeville wondering what a hologram was. Hell, they probably wondered what a computer was.

Automan had his AUTOCAR and his AUTOPLANE. He also had an AUTOCOPTER.

Yet, if Automan could generate a car or a plane out of thin air, why couldn’t he generate an AUTOBOMBER? Or an AUTOPOWERLOADERFROMALIENS? Or how about an AUTOOGRE?

Admittedly, the effects budget was limited. While Automan ostensibly computer-generated all of these vehicles out of thin air—via the world’s most impressive Wi-Fi system, I assume—in reality, all the effects in the show were done with a mix of cartoon animation, neon bulbs, and reflective safety tape. Even for 1983, it wasn’t quite Industrial Light and Magic caliber-work.


Somewhere, John Dykstra just swallowed a pistol.

What I don’t understand is, with all the abilities of TRON in reverse, why did every episode of Automan have to involve the most routine cop show cliches? Drug smugglers, burglars, dirty cops; it was just Barnaby Jones with ground-effect lighting.

Automan should’ve set his sights higher. Cure world hunger. Vanquish communism. Convince Sting to keep The Police from breaking up, using force if he had to.

Alas, it was not to be, as the writers were lazy, and the show was awful.

Here’s hoping Ace’s script is better.

-- Dave at Garfield Ridge

posted by Ace at 10:59 PM
Comments

I really like the show "Desperate Housewives." It's on Sunday nights on ABC in NY at 9:00 p.m. That's my guilty pleasure.

Posted by: Zelda on January 27, 2005 11:06 PM
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