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December 19, 2005

Iran's President Looking To Get Shot At Again

This is actually positive news. Push hard enough, make people's lives as dreary and miserable as possible, and you will one day find them pushing back:

Hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has banned Western music from Iran's radio and TV stations, reviving one of the harshest cultural decrees from the early days of 1979 Islamic Revolution.
Songs such as George Michael's "Careless Whisper," Eric Clapton's "Rush" and the Eagles'"Hotel California" have regularly accompanied Iranian broadcasts, as do tunes by saxophonist Kenny G.

But the official IRAN Persian daily reported Monday that Ahmadinejad, as head of Iran's Supreme Cultural Revolutionary Council, ordered the enactment of an October ruling by the council to ban Western music.

"Blocking indecent and Western music from the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting is required," according to a statement on the council's official Web site.

Trivial? Not really. Let's face it, most of our days are pretty uneventful; say what you will about pop culture, but it's a small diversion from the tedium and stress of life.

And it's the young who care most passionately about that.

Ahmadinejad has violated the second most basic rule of Machiavelli. The first, of course, is that the Prince must make warfare his constant study.

The second is: don't take from the people their cheesy Wham! pop-ballads.

posted by Ace at 02:32 PM

Comments

Songs such as George Michael's "Careless Whisper"

Man, he is asking for a missle up the ass.

Posted by: rls on December 19, 2005 02:55 PM

I always thought the first rule of Machiavelli was: "Never get involved in a land war in Asia."

Posted by: Pompous on December 19, 2005 03:07 PM

Whoops, I looked it up. I was totally wrong. The first rule of Machiavelli is, Don't talk about Machiavelli.

It starts to get a little repetitive after that.

Sorry, everybody. My bad.

Posted by: Pompous on December 19, 2005 03:09 PM

The fourth observation from Machiavelli had to do with governmental oversight and regulations - it's Nostradamus-like

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick Cheney guarda le guardie notturne.

Quelle guardie notturne responsabili del guardare il Dick Cheney morto delle lesioni interne voluminose - ha occorr al coroner tre ore per rimuovere i sorrisi dalle loro facce

Which translates as:

Dick Cheney watches the watchmen

Those watchmen responsible for watching Dick Cheney died of massive internal injuries - it took the coroner three hours to remove the smiles from their faces

Posted by: BumperStickerist on December 19, 2005 03:21 PM

Nice, Bumper.

Now Ace: How is banning Kenny G from the public airwaves supposed to make Ahmadinejad unpopular? You might want to rethink this.

Posted by: See-Dubya on December 19, 2005 03:24 PM

Yeah, in alot of places that'd get him nominated for sainthood.

Posted by: Iblis on December 19, 2005 03:29 PM

I think the lines "guilty feet have got no rhythm/so I'm never gonna dance again/the way I danced with you" just hit a little too close to home for his comfort.

Posted by: Sobek on December 19, 2005 03:30 PM

The shareef don't like it
Rockin' the casbah
Rock the casbah

Posted by: Kazmin on December 19, 2005 03:36 PM

I just think it's really funny that depriving Iranian youth of WHAM could be the final straw that instigates a revolution which overthrows the government.

Posted by: Village Idiot on December 19, 2005 03:56 PM

Whatever happened to all the fun in the world?

Posted by: Sheik Yerbouti on December 19, 2005 03:58 PM

Bismillah NO!
When they take my Queen from my cold dead hands.

Posted by: skinbad on December 19, 2005 03:59 PM

Damn don't take peoples' music away

Some may recall the fall of the former Hungarian Communist Regime was attributed to the influence of Western Rock Music:

Here

For an interesting comment thread on the Ah -MAD-inejad extremist ruling faction of the Mad Mullas of Iran, see this comment thread at Winds of Change:

Here

Posted by: Ron Wright on December 19, 2005 04:40 PM

As I remember hearing, Ceauşescu banned Zamfir's music, and after he was shot, it rang through the streets as a paean to freedom. Kenny G may be bad enough, but frankly I'd prefer Iran as it is to the threat of John Tesh being associated with a free Iran.

Posted by: Lapsed Leftist on December 19, 2005 04:56 PM

Move over blue meanies theres a music hater running a whole coutry into the ground frankly i hope he ends up like the rest of the religous fanatics who have run iran

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 19, 2005 09:11 PM

All I ask, before he gets shot, is that the Iranian President wakes me up before he go-goes...

Posted by: cheshirecat on December 20, 2005 12:40 AM

When they take my Queen from my cold dead hands.

Isn't that Ace's line?

Posted by: cheshirecat on December 20, 2005 12:42 AM

I recall Frank Zappa going on about Ayatollah Khomenei's fatwa against music like... 20 years ago. In fact, I think there's something about it in the Joe's Garage liner notes... Nothing new under the sun!

Posted by: Ian on December 20, 2005 12:45 AM

I feel a parody coming on...

In a dark desert dungeon
In an undisclosed lair
I was smokin' Satanic Verses
And let Khamanei share.
Then an aura surrounded me
In a shimmering light...
I started gasping, and Ayatollah tol' me
That I was high as a kite.
Water backed up though the toilet;
I remembered the imam tell
That the Imam Mahdi
Could be coming like that out that well.
Then I sensed like a vision
('Long with Leprechauns, and Fay Wray)
That were voices down in my drainpipe
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Mind of Ahmad Nejad
all that empty space... i bet he must free-base.
What a damn loon, that Ahmad Nejad
Tryin' to bring us, here; into the Yawm Akhir.

Now I'm ridin' the Prophet's horsie
To where the universe ends
I got a lot of crazy, wacky boys
That I call friends
How they rant in the majlis
On sweet purple qat;
Some of 'em call me the Mahdi
But others call me a twat
So I called up a mullah
Please show me a sign
He said...
Bitch, you're wound tight like a rusted ball of twine
And still I hear voices, a bit like Haji Rezayy
Hangin' young chicks every mornin
Still I hear her say

I won't be missin' that Ahmad Nejad
I wish I had my mace, I'd spray it in his face
So this is the way of Ahmad Nejad
Another woman dies, to cover up his lies

Scratchin' all my chin hairs
With my beard fulla lice
And I'm glad,
They're all just prisoners here
Of Khomenei's device
And in my palace chambers
We all gather for a feast
Got kickbacks from those smugglers
From Afghan land on our east.
The Holocaust didn't happen
Those damn Joooz make me snore
Anyway... we'll get the bomb soon and bomb their ass back to 634
So I'll sit here in Tehran
I'll get high, kill and thieve
Tell the world the craziest shit y'all ever heard
But ya better believe
Because...

Welcome to the world of Ahmad Nejad
the biggest mental case in the human race.
I've had enough of that Ahmad Nejad
When his ass is gone, candy for everyone!

Posted by: David Ross on December 20, 2005 03:10 AM

David, well done sir. Very well done.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on December 20, 2005 09:34 AM

Hey dave you doing that to HOTEL CALFORNIA?

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 20, 2005 03:11 PM

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Top Headlines

Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?

Podcast: Sefton and CBD are joined by Jeff Carter, candidate for NV treasurer, and seasoned finance professional, for a discussion of the issues facing Nevadans, and the larger financial challenges in America.

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Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust.

Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

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