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November 22, 2005

Well, That Kills My Plans For The Weekend

Blindness I was ready for. But my teeth falling out and my body covered with pustules?

Thanks to Dr. Reo Symes.

You can trust him. His fake internet name includes the word "Doctor."

posted by Ace at 11:18 PM

Comments

That's not true!!

Posted by: harrison on November 22, 2005 11:21 PM

Eh. It's still worth it.

Posted by: Allah on November 22, 2005 11:25 PM

I'm 53 with a full head of hair, no pustules, average eyesight for my age, and otherwise in good health. Must be I never do it.

Although Allah's link to Melissa was not helpful.

Posted by: Michael on November 22, 2005 11:29 PM

I think Ace is asking for tips to buy a new Fleshlight...

Posted by: on November 22, 2005 11:55 PM

To give credit, found that offa Boing Boing. I'm anxiously awaiting Snopes verdict however, cause if this turns out to be true, well, I'm fucked.

Posted by: Dr. Reo Symes on November 23, 2005 12:14 AM

Of course they lacked the crucial ingredient: High quality porn!

Have you seen the crap they had back then...please!

A little Jenna Jameson woulda' put some juice back in his step.

Posted by: Jake Jacobsen on November 23, 2005 12:17 AM

Thanks Allah, for the link.

That girl has eyes the color of a root beer popsicle.

(Who said that originally?)

Posted by: Retired Geezer on November 23, 2005 12:38 AM

Slightly OT, but has anyone seen that Paris Hilton sex tape ad on Drudge?

Posted by: isayalotofthings on November 23, 2005 12:46 AM

Ace,

Holy Crap!

Hematemesis!

Pustules!

Alopecia!

Hypertonus!

Paraparesis!

Blindness!

...

Shit.

I'm sure glad I never did that!

And I am a doctor.

Whew.

Close one.

Really.

Posted by: MeTooThen on November 23, 2005 01:08 AM

Allah,

I don't man.

What gives with some guys?

That woman is smokin' hot.

Hot-t-t-t-t-t.

Wow.

Posted by: MeTooThen on November 23, 2005 01:10 AM

Allah,

read: I don't know man.

Bien sur.

Loose shit.

...

Still, wow.

Posted by: MeTooThen on November 23, 2005 01:14 AM

Masturbation leads to...baldness. My God, I had no idea (what's with the whole hairy palm thing anyway?).

Posted by: rcl on November 23, 2005 02:13 AM

Who will I have to kill to get a 360?
Ebay has goobers trying to sell it for thousands.
Maybe I will retain my dignity and my money and wait to pay "retail."

Posted by: joeindc44 on November 23, 2005 02:26 AM

They tell you when you’re small
That it’s no thrill at all
And you should be ashamed
If ever you’re blamed
For flinging your jigger

They told me at the time
If I did, that I’d go blind
And my palm would then grow hair
If I should ever dare
To fling my jigger

I should have never climbed that pole
And slid back down……reeaalll sloooooow
but I surely did - and got a thrill
From then on I couldn’t get my fill
Of flinging my jigger

Now I go for my daily jog
Led by my seeing eye dog
And every day I shave my palms
But I tell you, I have no qualms
‘Cause I still fling my jigger.

Posted by: rls on November 23, 2005 06:10 AM

The key is to vaccinate yourself at an early age.

Posted by: Bill from INDC on November 23, 2005 09:41 AM

Hey, could be worse.

Posted by: Karl on November 23, 2005 11:16 AM

You know what this means... Both Jocelyn Elders and Al Gore (2 counts - inventor of the Internet and father of Karenna Gore) are responsible for more deaths than Hitler, Ted Kennedy, Haliburton, OJ, and Ronald McDonald COMBINED.

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Posted by: Austin Adams on December 7, 2005 01:41 AM