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November 16, 2005
Cuba’s Shaky FutureDoes Castro have Parkinson’s Disease? The CIA recently concluded that Cuban leader Fidel Castro suffers from Parkinson's disease and has warned U.S. policymakers to be ready for trouble if the 79-year-old ruler's health erodes over the next few years.The article notes a bit about Parkinson’s, how it doesn’t really shorten one’s life much, but, in many, overall mental function starts to slide. It then hashes out the political ramifications. Damián Fernández, director of Florida International University's Cuban Research Institute, said the larger questions are how Castro's subordinates would react to his mental or physical erosion, and how that could affect Raúl's role as Cuba's No. 2. Interesting. Not sure how this will play out, but I’m pulling for the most entertaining scenario – Castro loses it but continues with those eight hour speeches, the audience not permitted to leave, while El Commandante goes off on the proper consistency of kitten pudding or his project to paint the ocean orange. Fun times ahead. posted by Dr. Reo Symes at 12:58 PM
CommentsI feel fine, capitalist pig-dogs! I'm just about to have lunch. Carlos! I'll have a cheeckun sandwich, with a live cheeckun! Posted by: Fidel Castro on November 16, 2005 01:10 PM
I really hate to be the first to say this, but if the CIA is giving us this assessment, I'd really like a second opinion. Even before the Iraq WMD fuckup, they weren't exactly covered in glory with their failure to see 9/11, their failure to see the Indian and Pakistani nuclear tests in 1998, oh, and what the hell I'll throw this one in too: the fall of the Soviet Union... Posted by: J. Wilde on November 16, 2005 01:13 PM
I'm definitely holding out for the "deranged dictator" scenario: those who fail to learn Esperanto will be shot, stuff like that. Good times ahead--unfortunately, not for the Cuban people. The joke in the title of the post went straight past me the first time I read it. I cracked up when I finally got the joke. Nicely played, sir. Posted by: utron on November 16, 2005 01:21 PM
I don't feel so good myself. Except for the 3rd quarter results of CheWear.com. We're smokin! Posted by: Che Guevera on November 16, 2005 01:28 PM
Me? I'd start recording what the Democrats say right now. Because in a few years when we go to liberate Cuba, we can use their words from today for support. At least it always seems to work out like that... Posted by: Sharp as a Marble on November 16, 2005 01:34 PM
I predict about 36 hours of civil war, consisting mostly of a few assassinations and maybe a grenade or two, followed by a complete reversal of Castro's form of government. This may or may not happen before Castro dies. I'm stunned he is only 79. I thought he was closer to 90. Like Arafat, the old bastard seems to hang on indefinitely. And when the world is finally rid of his fetid presence, the Left will privately shed their tears and publicly say that Castro was "complicated" and "full of contradictions" and shit like that. God forbid they call totalitarian dictators who kill and/or ruin the lives of millions of people "bad" or anything. Who are we to judge? Posted by: Phinn on November 16, 2005 01:43 PM
The only thing I can really say is that I hope it's true, and I hope it hurts, a lot. The bastard is long overdue for his dirt nap. viva libertad cubana! Posted by: Defense Guy on November 16, 2005 02:15 PM
Good time to shave that nasty old beard off.. Posted by: IreneFingIrene on November 16, 2005 02:24 PM
Based on the CIA's track record, I would guess that Fidel has at least 30 more years to live. Posted by: Steve L. on November 16, 2005 02:30 PM
Nothing goes better with a Che burger than a Shaky. Posted by: on November 16, 2005 02:44 PM
Nothing goes better with a Che burger than a Shaky Classic! Posted by: Mark on November 16, 2005 03:12 PM
I wd like to spring up every Hollywood asshole who went to Cuba to suck Castro's dick. Posted by: on November 16, 2005 03:12 PM
Were it not for those in the U.S. sending dollars, U.S. dollars, to family members in Cuba, Castro would be long gone by now. It would go down in history as just another failed attempt at communism and Castro would be not much more than a footnote. He can't kick to bucket quickly enough. Posted by: Ol' BC on November 16, 2005 03:25 PM
Well, this will make it easier for him to continue to jerkoff Hugo Chavez. Posted by: dittybopper on November 16, 2005 04:03 PM
All citizens under the age of sixteen years old ... are NOw ... sixTEEN years old! From this day forward, all citizens shall change their underwears every fifteen minutes. Underwears will be worn on the outside, so we can check. (He's gone mad with power!) Posted by: Knemon on November 16, 2005 07:52 PM
t Posted by: Dave Munger on November 16, 2005 08:36 PM
I'd guess our intelligence on Cuba is pretty decent, actually, due to the large number of Cubans in America, the existence of a somewhat organized opposition, the presence of a US military base on Cuba, etc. Of course, their intelligence on us is probably better, for whatever that's worth. Posted by: SJKevin on November 16, 2005 09:41 PM
If you want intelligence on Cuba, talk to a Cuban. My own experience was eye-opening. But anyway, though its been posted before: The Real Cuba. This site is constantly updated and has recent pics from major cities. Posted by: lauraw on November 17, 2005 01:15 AM
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