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November 07, 2005

I Guess I Just Can't Avoid Linking This

A lot of people sent me different links to the same story: two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested for having full-on lesbian sex in a public bathroom.

I didn't post it because I didn't see an angle. Then again, it's two cheerleaders having full-on lesbian sex in a public bathroom.

I guess that's an angle in itself.

There's also some punching and bar-fighting, as if you need to gild the lily.

posted by Ace at 01:22 PM

Comments

We were starting to wonder Ace.
Gotta have priorities man.

Posted by: Iblis on November 7, 2005 01:26 PM

You know the old riddle, "What questions can you not answer 'yes' to?"

The answers were:
1) are you asleep?, and
2) are you dead?

Add to that:
3) Would you have called the police on these two?

Posted by: Zorachus on November 7, 2005 01:32 PM

I think I have a new favorite team.

Posted by: Doug F on November 7, 2005 01:36 PM

Bet they were actually snorting a little blow.

And btw, makeup is a wonderful thing. Their before-n-after shots are remarkable. No matter how fine a woman looks at a bar or club, nearly all or them can be perfectly ordinary w/o the trappings.

Posted by: Blacksheep on November 7, 2005 01:38 PM

Well, it's about frickin' time... It'll be the source of my first question tomorrow!

Posted by: JFH on November 7, 2005 01:43 PM

Blacksheep:
Bet they were actually snorting a little blow.

I'm sure you're right.

So tell me, do you also enjoy telling children that there's no Santa?

Posted by: on November 7, 2005 01:51 PM

Blacksheep,

Where are the before and after shots?

Posted by: Golden Boy on November 7, 2005 01:53 PM

And btw, makeup is a wonderful thing.

Okay, I'll give you that. Most gorgeous women look rather ordinary when they aren't made up. BUT THESE ARE FRICKIN' CHEERLEADERS!! This is lesbian porn fantasy come to life! These aren't bull dykes with flannel and gasoline powered strap-ons. These are hot-bodied, drunk off their asses, professional football chearleaders! The only thing missing is the remote, a box of Kleenex, and a nap : )

Posted by: compos mentis on November 7, 2005 01:55 PM

as if you need to gild the lily

Is that a euphemism?

Posted by: sandy burger on November 7, 2005 01:55 PM

Try getting on the Panthers homepage right now...
It's not that I know how slow it is, it's just that someone told me...

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on November 7, 2005 02:02 PM

Here's some w/ & w/o makeup photos:

http://www.jquinton.com/archives/003131.html

And sorry to burst everyone's sex bubble. Look at this way: maybe they were snorting coke and having sex!

Posted by: Blacksheep on November 7, 2005 02:05 PM

Here's the mug shots the Panther Cheerleader roster is here, but its down.

Posted by: Iblis on November 7, 2005 02:07 PM

Maybe they were snorting coke off of each others' bodies? Doing some light secretarial work?

Then, when the pounding on the door got too intense, they screamed out "Say 'ello to my little friend!" and started raising hell in the joint in a coke-raged, naked catfight orgy of violence...

Sorry, I blacked out there for a minute.

Posted by: John on November 7, 2005 02:13 PM

Ace, for God's sake stop misquoting Shakespeare. This is at least the second time now - once more and I'll have to fly up to NYC and kick your ass.

Unless another story about drunken lesbian cheerleaders is involved, in which case you'll get a pass.

Posted by: Megan on November 7, 2005 02:14 PM

BUT THESE ARE FRICKIN' CHEERLEADERS!!

Professional cheerleaders. These aren't the hot-chicks from high-school. These are more or less professional athletes, with all the unattractive egos and Type-A personality that entails.

They aren't hardbodies, they have hard bodies. Unattractive, IMO.

And, finally, take away my Man-card if you must, but... I'm just about sick of lesbians. Congratulations, sexual libertines--you've overplayed a kinda-kinky infatuation and killed it with oversaturation. Two girls kissing? YAWN.

Posted by: rho on November 7, 2005 02:19 PM

The chick with the nose looks like Gonzo on a bad day...

Posted by: Dave@ on November 7, 2005 02:20 PM

The chick with the nose looks like Gonzo on a bad day...

Exactly what I was thinking Dave! She looks like a f'n muppet!! (granted, a muppet with a nice body)

Speaking of which, here's an oldie but a goodie:

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger!!

Posted by: compos mentis on November 7, 2005 02:25 PM

I'll have to go along with rho on this one. Dirty-kinky sexual thrills and The Gilmore Girls are two mutually exclusive categories.

Posted by: utron on November 7, 2005 02:32 PM

Check out this poll at Sports Illustrated!

What would you most want to see?

Your team win the Super Bowl
World peace
Video of the Carolina Panthers' cheerleaders "incident"

Posted by: Steven Den Beste on November 7, 2005 02:41 PM

The greatest sports story... ever.

Posted by: Wide World O' Sports on November 7, 2005 02:42 PM

I'm getting rather tired of the cliche that all men love lesbians licking themselves.

If they're busy licking, they have no time for men. Waste. Boring. Unexciting.

Dykes are not a turn-on.

Posted by: William Trhash on November 7, 2005 02:45 PM

Your team win the Super Bowl 10%

World peace 18%

Video of the Carolina Panthers' cheerleaders "incident" 72%

Posted by: compos mentis on November 7, 2005 02:50 PM

I'm getting rather tired of the cliche that all men love lesbians licking themselves.

If they're busy licking, they have no time for men. Waste.

Oh, come on -- like I think I have a chance with a straight NFL cheerleader.

Posted by: WWOS on November 7, 2005 02:50 PM

Give me that model for Conservative Tees any day.

Posted by: Zorachus on November 7, 2005 03:02 PM

model from conservative Tees indeed. I would pass on those two cheerleader chicks. hubba hubba

Posted by: joeindc44 on November 7, 2005 03:06 PM

Be honest Zorachus, you want the mystery Bet On Iraq babe under the burqa.

Posted by: Iblis on November 7, 2005 03:06 PM

I Guess I Just Can't Avoid Linking This

Why not? Is a lesbian cheerleader holding a pom pom to your head?

Posted by: on November 7, 2005 03:11 PM

Count Iblis,
Guilty as charged.
Get her and the Conservative Tees lady into a bathroom stall, and you've really done something.

Posted by: Zorachus on November 7, 2005 03:14 PM

It just doesn't have the "punch" it might if there were video.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 7, 2005 03:23 PM

Sure Sure, just sign right here on the dotted line, yeah in blood, ok. We'll just get this notarized, and I'll get back to you sometime in the next fifty years. There's a waiting list you see....

Posted by: Iblis on November 7, 2005 03:24 PM

Do gay people not realize that people defecate in there, or do they not have cars?

Posted by: Dave Munger on November 7, 2005 03:44 PM

Maybe they were going for a blumpkin.

Posted by: Iblis on November 7, 2005 03:47 PM

Homosexuals bugger each other in the anus. I don't think they mind frollicking in public toilets. The dirtier the better.

Yep, I'm going to say it...

That way, they can really disgrace their fathers.

Posted by: Bart on November 7, 2005 03:50 PM

Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I'm not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth girl-girl action and the United States of America. Gentlemen!

[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]

Posted by: WWOS on November 7, 2005 03:56 PM

Couldn't find an angle?

Cheerleaders. Drunk. Ladies Room. Having Sex. With Each Other.

This needs an angle?

Posted by: JackStraw on November 7, 2005 05:08 PM

Ladies Room. Having Sex. With Each Other.

So that's what they do in there.

Posted by: scott on November 7, 2005 05:54 PM

I like how FOX helpfully links to a NFL cheerleader gallery for 'context.'

As a man, I was looking for extra, in-depth journalism on this matter exactly like that. This is the reason they're eatin CNN's lunch.

Posted by: Reo Symes on November 7, 2005 06:01 PM

"Best Thing About Being A TopCat: Friendships"

God bless cheerleading.

Posted by: Reo Symes on November 7, 2005 06:08 PM

That way, they can really disgrace their fathers.

You warned me, but I almost spewed soda all over the keyboard anyway.

Posted by: geoff on November 7, 2005 06:14 PM

Nobody's made a crack about "this must be why women always go to the head in pairs" yet? I'm disappointed.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on November 7, 2005 06:31 PM

See scott's post four entries above ya Russ

Posted by: lauraw on November 7, 2005 07:50 PM

Not to be nitpicky here, laura, but scott's bit was more focused on "ladies-room-as-foreign-territory-where-men-have-no-clue-what's-going-on-in-there" instead of the "cultural-phenomena-of-women-traveling-in-pairs" angle I had with mine.

His was funny, but not as offensive as mine could potentially prove to be, which is why I'm shocked nobody has pulled a "cedaryouknowho" and gone there yet.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on November 7, 2005 08:36 PM

I read as soon as the other girl knocked on the door, they were out lickitysplit.
(rimshot)

Posted by: David Evans on November 7, 2005 10:01 PM

I'm getting rather tired of the cliche that all men love lesbians licking themselves.

I hadn't even thought of that one, you sick demented freak. But they would get MAJOR points for limberness.

Posted by: on November 7, 2005 11:08 PM

*ahem*

Sorry about the colon.

Posted by: VRWC Agent on November 7, 2005 11:10 PM

I've dedicated my life today to writing everything there is to know about this story and collecting all photographs possible. Are my priorities skewed?

Lesbian Cheerleader Sex

Posted by: Insider on November 8, 2005 02:18 AM

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Chris
@chriswithans

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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

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Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
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REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

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That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
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