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October 30, 2005

Onward, Muslim Soldiers!

SULAWESI, Indonesia -- Muslim warriors scored yet another heroic military victory, this time against a well-trained trio of special-ops teenaged girls from a Christian school.

"Allah be praised for delivering us this magnificent triumph," an unknown brave warrior in a face-obscuring mask announced. "Those 105-pound teenaged girls fought like tigers, using all the weapons and trickery they learned at a Special Forces clinic at the 4-H Club. They also employed advanced martial arts techiques from the legendary fighting form known as 'Jazzercize.'"

The glorious Islamic heroes stated that they identified the co-ed covert operatives by their open display of the famous credo of SOCOM (the special operations command), "N'SYNC = N'STINK."

Having captured the dangerous commandos, the Muslim warriors afforded them with the full panoply of rights granted to them by the Geneva Protocols, including the invioble rights of POW's to have their heads sawed from their still-living bodies, a right which applies only upon capture by Muslims. WARNING: Extremely Graphic Pictures of the International Red Cross-approved treatment of Western prisoners.

The gay-panic murder-cultists of the Muslim world rejoiced that the three operatives had been captured while carrying the weapon most feared in the Muslim world-- vaginas.

Courageous Muslim proudly displayed "high-tech infidel weaponry" recovered from the special-ops babysitters' club, including a cellphone with its ringer set to play Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time, a "special CIA pen" with purple ink that smelled strongly of artifical grapes, and an eraser shaped like a crazy-haired troll, said by the Muslim warriors to be some sort of "psy-ops" device.

Although the girls were not identified as Jewish per se, at least one was captured with a Barbra Streisand CD in her possession. "Close enough," one glorious Muslim warrior said. "People Who Need People is a notorious propaganda hymn of the Jew Mossad."

Western journalists reacted with shock to the incident. "How dare those infidels tresspass in Muslim lands," British journalist John Pilger seethed. "This is yet another sign of the American neo-con cabal's utter disdain for the principle of freedom of religion."

Robert Fisk, on the other hand, noted that the Muslims had been careful enough to not inflict any "so-called 'collateral damage'" while taking out what he called "legitimate military targets." "Had this attack been conducted by George Bush," he wrote, "we might have expected upwards of 200 dead innocent Muslim sporting-gun enthusiasts, who had peacefully gathered in a mosque to engage in the cherished Islamic holy ritual of indiscriminate sniper fire."

Note: Looks like Tanker and I stumbled on this at the same time. We're just "flooding the zone," as Howell Raines said of his wall-to-wall coverage of women being banned from the Augusta National golf course. A slightly more important story, I admit, but I think this one has some amount of significance as well.

posted by Ace at 12:17 PM

Comments

And to think that dummy puntz charle wants to come here and lecture us on the merits of the muselum religion what a idiot

Posted by: spurwing plover on October 30, 2005 02:05 PM

Can we please nuke Mecca now?

Posted by: zetetic on October 30, 2005 02:40 PM

I believe the girls were identified as Christian, thus making your whole rant moot. Nothing to see here, move along. Of course, no one will tell you that the Crusades were a response to Islamic Imperialism...which is an O.K. kind of Imperialism, not like Amerikan Fascist Pig Imperialism. So, like I said, nothing to see here except some descendents of the Crusades getting their comeuppance.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on October 30, 2005 03:00 PM

Excellent point, Joan!

Posted by: Muslihoon on October 30, 2005 03:52 PM

Pilger's Australian. Fisk is a Brit, granted. They naturally now downplay the fact that a big part of Indonesian Muslim hatred towards the West is the liberation of East Timor, of which both Fisk and Pilger claimed to in favour, at least until the Howard government, supported by the US and UK, did something about it.

Posted by: David Gillies on October 30, 2005 05:25 PM

Liberals have to ignore this. Of course, being that the teenage girls were Christian means they had it coming. Muslims killing Christians are prefectly okay - like the Bosnian muslims killing Serbian Christians and getting away with it. Milosevic reacts by expelling the muslim murderers, and suddenly he's the bad guy.

Looks like we're all on the same page.

Posted by: William Thrash on October 30, 2005 07:43 PM

The utter disregard of the left to such crimes makes them complicit in them. Their disregard and failure to speak out also betrays their hypocrisy. What is even worse is that the greater public remains unaware of such acts, thereby holding in their minds erroneous images or perceptions of the world of Islam.

Whereas it is true that not every Muslim is a blood-thirsty terrorist, an uncomfortable number of Muslims either support terrorists (and their acts) or see nothing so evil in terrorists (and their acts) to warrant consistent and active denunciation. Additionally, to denounce an act is easy (particularly for double-speaking institutions, of which too many exist): what actually matters and what is less easy is to do something to discourage such acts and to make a clear case to believers (not to the outside world) how this violence ought to have no place in Islam. Lecturing to non-Muslims how Islam is peaceful is utterly useless when many Muslims do believe Islam condones violence.

Posted by: Muslihoon on October 30, 2005 08:29 PM

Typical liberal reaction to such a, a, (indescribable -- I can't think of the appropiate words) act:
What did we do to make them hate us so much.

A sane reaction: Kill all these motherfucking cowards before they kill more innocents, namely us.

(No, I don't mean we should kill all Muslims. I mean we should destroy all persons who even think about commiting these acts. That's why I believe that Iran, with their state-sponsore-death-to-America-chants, have declared, with no ambiguity, that they want us all dead (in the worst way) and that is enough justification for military action.

Don't fuck with Americans. That's the message I want my president to send to the rest of the World.

Posted by: Bart on October 30, 2005 10:19 PM

I haven't seen this reported on CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC or Fox News. So, of course, Islam is still a religion of peace. When CNN reports on these alleged atrocities, then we will know that we have problem with worldwide islamic militantism. Until then, there is no problem, just look the other way. And it might not hurt to pray facing Mecca in the future; preferably 6 times a day.

Posted by: kbiel on October 30, 2005 11:11 PM

By golly, I will crack this code someday!

And to think that dummy puntz charle wants to come here and lecture us on the merits of the muselum religion what a idiot

Posted by: Bart on October 30, 2005 11:18 PM

Disgusting, but after that atrocity at Beslan last year, hardly surprising. Get used to the idea: you are dealing with a society that LIKES to commit atrocities against CHILDREN. What is even more disgusting is the fact that so many on the left make excuses for them.

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids on October 30, 2005 11:19 PM

No, Bart! That way lies madness!!! YOU'LL SUMMON CTHULU OR SOMETHING.

Posted by: Sortelli on October 30, 2005 11:20 PM

You're right, Sortelli. I've already killed thousands of brain cells pondering the Spurling's droppings.

My luck the code will open a portal to Madeline Albright's ass-crack.

Posted by: Bart on October 31, 2005 12:20 AM

Sortelli: Hey, now -- wait a minute!!

Posted by: cthulhu on October 31, 2005 12:35 AM

Oh, hey, Cthulhu! How's it hanging?

Posted by: Sortelli on October 31, 2005 01:54 AM

The knee-jerk response I've gotten from co-workers when the crisis of islam is brought up is usually..."they saved our civilization during the dark ages".

Similar to the complaints that Zarqawi and Bin Laden give in that they reference events that occurred hundreds of years ago or more.

End the Jihaad.....now.

Posted by: vladimir on October 31, 2005 08:22 AM

The knee-jerk response I've gotten from co-workers when the crisis of islam is brought up is usually..."they saved our civilization during the dark ages".

Even if that were true, they need to actually come out of the dark ages at some point. It's like a really dangerous version of the high school cheerleader who reached her prime at the senior year homecoming, not realizing that she had 50 more years or so to go.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim on October 31, 2005 08:40 AM

By golly, I will crack this code someday!
And to think that dummy puntz charle wants to come here and lecture us on the merits of the muselum religion what a idiot

According to my decoder ring it translates thusly:

"And to think that dummy putz Prince Charles wants to come to America and lecture us on the merits of the Muslim religion -- what an idiot!"

If you hadn't heard Charles recently assured a group of Muslims in the UK that during his imminent visit to the US he was going to discuss this country's insensitivity to Muslim feelings (or something like that).

Posted by: Craiggers on October 31, 2005 06:48 PM

My decoder ring rendered a different result.

"Send me your credit card info and nude pics of your wife. Ace rules!"

Posted by: Bart on October 31, 2005 06:53 PM

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TJM definitively ranks the films of David Lean

Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?

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MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust.

Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]