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Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny.

Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe

The ULA rocket just launched
Thanks to Joyenz
The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'"
I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir"

From the CA Post:

Spencer Pratt is now Karen Bass' biggest headache.

A bombshell California Post poll conducted with McLaughlin & Associates shows the reality TV star-turned-mayoral candidate has surged to a statistical tie with the incumbent mayor.

And voters blame homelessness, affordability and the direction of Los Angeles as the reason for turning on Bass.

Pratt now leads the field with 30.1% support, compared with 29.5% for Bass, setting up a razor-thin race heading into next week's primary.

Socialist councilwoman Nithya Raman sits in third place at 23.4%.

Thanks to beckster

Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars
Gee I wonder where they might have met
Oh and she's a vegan
When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men
But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang

"Journalists" are all drunks, criminals, sex-pests, and liars, exhibit #25,239,331

And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi

Was the "transatlantic accent" favored by stage and screen actors of the 40s and 50s "fake"? This linguist says no, it was a real accent

"Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson
Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time?
It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime.

The Babylon Bee's crack AI team uses AI crack to simulate the first woman president

TJM explores the world of John Ford movies.

Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico:

James Talarico
@jamestalarico

Black Americans in a church.

Mexican Americans in a store.

Asian Americans in a spa.

Radicalized white men are the greatest domestic terrorist threat in our country.

He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country.
No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!"

Podcast: CBD and J.J. Sefton discuss the newest iteration of the Iranian negotiations, with the hope that the President will stick to his guns and get rid of the nuclear material, Minneapolis mayor Frey is scum, and an idiot, Artificial Intelligence, and more!

Polls close in Texas at 7pm local (8pm for the East Coast). Vote the RINO out.

TJM celebrates Memorial Day the only way he knows how.

Those of you who are longtime Not Watchers of Stephen Colbert will not enjoy this flashback of Colbert dancing with Chuck Schumer while wearing ostentatious covid masks

Rush Limbaugh was an innovator in so many ways, including being among the first to not watch Stephen Colbert

DNI Tulsi Gabbard tenders her resignation for June 30, says her husband has been diagnosed with a rare bone cancer and she will have to help him through this

TJM definitively ranks the films of Sam Peckinpah.

Podcast: CBD and Jim Lakely of The Heartland Institute chat about Heartland's two recent discussions: The affordability crisis in America, and The UN retreating from their most maniacal climate projections. Along the way we talk Democrat insanity and the changing electoral map...and more!

Recent Comments

Itinerant Alley Butcher: "If he was just gang-raped the cops would have drag ..."

Axeman: "This is not just about knife crime. This is about ..."

Stephen Price Blair: "[i]The main cop complained that he was "misled" by ..."

Joe Mama: "'ll inherit a cottage in England. I think I'll jus ..."

Duncanthrax: "In this instance, yeet the jeet is justified. ..."

L - No nic, another fine day: "It's truly heartbreaking. (Only $50,000 was reque ..."

tubal: "Open Season on, nah not gonna say it. Nobody in au ..."

Reforger: "I'll inherit a cottage in England. I think I'll ju ..."

San Franpsycho: "The murderer's family also conspired with him to o ..."

Gref: "Democrats keep telling us illegal immigrants will ..."

Axeman: "The main cop complained that he was "misled" by th ..."

Tonypete: "Good evening good people. ..."

Bloggers in Arms

Some Humorous Asides

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Video Released of Cops Chatting Amiably with Sikh Murderer as the Victim Henry Nowak Bleeds to Death on the Ground Another Migrant Who Can't Speak a Word of English Plows His Vehicle Into Americans, Killing a Family of Four, Another Woman, and Leaving Forty Injured Plus: The Adulterous Nazi Communist Is Also a Cokehead "Doctor" Jill Biden Sticks to Her Lie That She "Never, Ever" Saw Biden Showing Signs of Cognitive Decline "Before or Since" the Debate Clinton and Obama Judges Combine to Overrule the Military's Judgment about Good Military Order, Insist That No One Can Reject Transgenders In the Military for Any Proper Logical Reasons 60 Minutes' Smelly Leftist Scott Pelley Knows He's About to be Fired, So He Stages a Tantrum-Flounce to Make It Seem Like He Was Fired in Retalliation for #FightingThePower An Illegal Alien Previously Deported Three Times was Blocked from a New Deportation by California's Sanctuary Law. Now He's Murdered Two Women -- and an Infant Baby More: The Nazi Communist Stimulated by Poop Posted Lewd Photos on an App Used by Minors to Arrange Hook-Ups The App Is Called a "Predator's Paradise" For Allowing Hook-Ups with Minors, and Platner Had An Active Account Until This Past Weekend Surprise: Nazi Communist Who Is Sexually Aroused by Feces Also Sexts Women Other Than His Wife THE MORNING RANT: Senators Cornyn & Cassidy Were My Fault, Because I Voted for Both of Them as the “Most Electable Candidate”; also, the Amazing Rhythm Ace of Spades Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends Captain Whitebread 2026 Jon Ekdahl 2026 Jay Guevara 2025 Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups NoVaMoMe 2026: 06/20/2026 Arlington VA Contact Bluebell/Weasel for info Texas MoMe 2026: 10/16/2026-10/17/2026 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« George Galloway Incites Muslim World Against West \| Main \| Bush's Approval Rating For Handling Iraq Drops to 38%, Lowest Yet » August 05, 2005 H.S. Coach (and Science Teacher) Reprimanded... For Licking Players' Bleeding Wounds Two years' probation. For licking the bleeding wounds of minors. Repeatedly. This science teacher will also have to attend classes on the dangers of blood-borne pathogens (and saliva-borne pathogens as well, I suppose). Because, I guess, he's never heard of malaria. Or, you know, AIDS. Several students say he was "just joking around." Content Warning. Like the other day I'm hanging out with my friend Stinky. We're both eating lunch at Starbucks, and are enjoying the budget-priced $18.00 eggplant panini. He bends over to slip his laptop back into its case. I reach my hand up his shorts and begin fondling his dirty, sweaty balls. He looks at me like I've got three heads. "Dude," I say, "I'm sooo totally joking around." "Oh," he chuckles, as I continue pumping his jockey-plums. "At first I didn't get it. Now I see it's kind of 'witty'." "Totally," I say. "And later on I'm going to rape you with an avacado." Again, the strange look. "Joking!" I say again, and he laughs. I add, "But I really am going to rape you with an avacado." "You're such a kidder," he says as we exit, my hand still up his shorts, extending the "comedy riff" for as long as possible. I stealthily slip the avacodo out of my backpack and into my right hand. "Just joking around." Hey, it works. Thanks to Dave in Texas, or, as I call him, "Stinky." posted by Ace at 01:09 PM Comments "Thanks to Dave in Texas, or, as I call him, "Stinky."" Lol! Posted by: BrewFan on August 5, 2005 01:31 PM An avocado? I think you gripped that from a movie I saw last night... Posted by: fat kid on August 5, 2005 01:31 PM He should have got a dog to do it. Dogs have the healing power. Posted by: Guy T. on August 5, 2005 01:36 PM well, that took a turn I didn't see coming. could we find a vegetable with a smaller pit? please? Posted by: Dave in Starbucks on August 5, 2005 02:09 PM And afterwards do you have a cigarette and guacamole? Posted by: on August 5, 2005 03:31 PM I add, "But I really am going to rape you with an avacado." This was the point I crapped my pants with laughter. Posted by: Pompous on August 5, 2005 04:20 PM HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Screen cleaning time again... Posted by: Dogstar on August 5, 2005 04:22 PM The strange thing about this post is that we all recognize that Dave in Texas has been honored. How wierd is that? Normally, when someone talks about shoving an avocado up your ass, it is not considered a compliment. This site is just so much fun. Posted by: Michael on August 6, 2005 12:29 AM Michael, Stick around long enough and maybe Ace will find a pineapple with your name on it. Posted by: TheDude on August 6, 2005 01:28 AM he can have mine Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 6, 2005 08:31 AM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Funny -- if you don't mind clicking on TikTok. "Amy.Pranks.22" set up an AI scam-call screener which replies to a foreign scammer trying to get her bank information with Trumpian bluster. This might be fake because I don't see how a program can respond in real time, but it's funny. Food Thread Pizza Dough Recipe The ULA rocket just launched Thanks to Joyenz The rocket's enormous engines are fueled by "the volcanic heterosexual lust between James Talarico and his Neighbor With a Uterus 'girlfriend'" I hope Amazon's rocket works better than the Amazon Prime app does as far as allowing people to watch the black and white version of "Spider-Noir" From the CA Post: Spencer Pratt is now Karen Bass' biggest headache. A bombshell California Post poll conducted with McLaughlin & Associates shows the reality TV star-turned-mayoral candidate has surged to a statistical tie with the incumbent mayor. And voters blame homelessness, affordability and the direction of Los Angeles as the reason for turning on Bass. Pratt now leads the field with 30.1% support, compared with 29.5% for Bass, setting up a razor-thin race heading into next week's primary. Socialist councilwoman Nithya Raman sits in third place at 23.4%. Thanks to beckster Just like "Spartacus" Corey Booker, now that James Talarico is running for a higher office, he unveils his previously-unknown "girlfriend" and hooboy, it just so happens she used to work for him, and, get this, likes to "dance the night away" at gay bars Gee I wonder where they might have met Oh and she's a vegan When Corey Booker needed a "girlfriend," he conjured up known LGBTQ activist Rosario Dawson. How convenient that when these guys need a girlfriend to show off to the normies that just happen to find an activist with a strong history of and interest in Supporting Gay Men But seriously, this James Talarico romance with a Neighbor with a Uterus is a love story for the ages. The passion of their lovemaking is hotter than a blue star with a core of Primordial Sex Atoms created in the Big Bang "Journalists" are all drunks, criminals, sex-pests, and liars, exhibit #25,239,331 And just like that, #PunchANazi became Punch a Ballot for a Nazi Was the "transatlantic accent" favored by stage and screen actors of the 40s and 50s "fake"? This linguist says no, it was a real accent "Teen" charged with five counts of attempted murder after attempting to run down police officers with his car in yet another "teen takeover" permitted by woke racist incompetent Chicago mayor Brandon Johnson Johnson's response to the "teen takeovers" of streets and businesses that he refuses to make arrests to stop is to go after social media companies for not deleting messages to coordinate the "teen takeovers." Um, they're supposed to find these messages and delete them in real time? It makes no sense but he has to offer an "alternative" plan to just arresting lawbreakers -- which he absolutely refuses to do, saying we "can't arrest our way out" of rampant crime. The Babylon Bee's crack AI team uses AI crack to simulate the first woman president TJM explores the world of John Ford movies. Future Tucker Carlson guest James Talarico: James Talarico @jamestalarico Black Americans in a church. Mexican Americans in a store. Asian Americans in a spa. Radicalized white men are the greatest domestic terrorist threat in our country. He's referring to three mass attacks committed by white men in, oh, the past six or eight years. There were a huge number of mass shootings and bombings he had to skip over to cherry pick three committed by white men. Which kind of makes me think that "white men" are not the greatest terrorist threat in our country. No, I doubt he'll be a guest on Tucker Carlson. The only thing that Tucker clings to that he claims makes him "conservative" is a palpable hatred of gays. Any time there's a communist enslaving their population and executing dissenters and conservatives, Tucker praises that dictator by saying "at least he represses the homos!" Podcast: CBD and J.J. Sefton discuss the newest iteration of the Iranian negotiations, with the hope that the President will stick to his guns and get rid of the nuclear material, Minneapolis mayor Frey is scum, and an idiot, Artificial Intelligence, and more! Polls close in Texas at 7pm local (8pm for the East Coast). Vote the RINO out. TJM celebrates Memorial Day the only way he knows how. Those of you who are longtime Not Watchers of Stephen Colbert will not enjoy this flashback of Colbert dancing with Chuck Schumer while wearing ostentatious covid masks Rush Limbaugh was an innovator in so many ways, including being among the first to not watch Stephen Colbert DNI Tulsi Gabbard tenders her resignation for June 30, says her husband has been diagnosed with a rare bone cancer and she will have to help him through this TJM definitively ranks the films of Sam Peckinpah. Podcast: CBD and Jim Lakely of The Heartland Institute chat about Heartland's two recent discussions: The affordability crisis in America, and The UN retreating from their most maniacal climate projections. Along the way we talk Democrat insanity and the changing electoral map...and more! Recent Comments Itinerant Alley Butcher: "If he was just gang-raped the cops would have drag ..." Axeman: "This is not just about knife crime. This is about ..." Stephen Price Blair: "[i]The main cop complained that he was "misled" by ..." Joe Mama: "'ll inherit a cottage in England. I think I'll jus ..." Duncanthrax: "In this instance, yeet the jeet is justified. ..." L - No nic, another fine day: "It's truly heartbreaking. (Only $50,000 was reque ..." tubal: "Open Season on, nah not gonna say it. Nobody in au ..." Reforger: "I'll inherit a cottage in England. I think I'll ju ..." San Franpsycho: "The murderer's family also conspired with him to o ..." Gref: "Democrats keep telling us illegal immigrants will ..." Axeman: "The main cop complained that he was "misled" by th ..." Tonypete: "Good evening good people. ..." Bloggers in Arms RI Red's Blog! Behind The Black CutJibNewsletter The Pipeline Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon Belmont Club Chicago Boyz Cold Fury Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Grim's Hall Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube Powerline RedState Reliapundit Viking Pundit WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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H.S. Coach (and Science Teacher) Reprimanded... For Licking Players' Bleeding Wounds