Ace of Spades HQ

Oregon Muse--RIP

Dave Reaboi's new podcast with Liel Liebowitz of Tablet, talking generational politics -- "about how it feels to be analog people in a digital world that has largely overtaken us" -- and the now-routine nonsense accusations of racism and anti-semitism which, as we've warned for a decade, now really mean almost nothing (congrats, fellas!) -- and Leonard Cohen

More Stronk Alec Baldwin impression
I like how he captures Baldwin's arrogance and nastiness, even with a baby

~~Ugly people look better with face diapers.~~ Studies say wearing a mask makes one look better. And I call Bull Shit. [Mis. Hum.]

From last week: an anti-vax-passport protest outside the Eiffel Tower

Julie Kelly just spoke for five minutes about the "unacceptable" conditions of the political prisoners of January 6th; we may see her get questioned by... Jerry Nadler and Sheila Jackson Lee

Rock Icon Meatloaf Dead at 74 His name was . . . Marvin Lee Aday. Bat Out of Hell is arguably among rock's greatest albums. RIP [J.J. Sefton]
Comedian Louis Anderson has now died too, at 68, due to blood cancer

Stop by the ONT Friday night at 10pm for a collective toast to Oregon Muse and redc1c4.

J.J. Sefton, CBD and Misanthropic Humanitarian jabber about Biden/dementia and Ukraine, A moral compass, A Texas synagogue, and of course our friend OregonMuse

More bad news...long-time commenter "redc1c4" has passed away.
[CBD]

IRS Will Require Facial Recognition Scans to Access Your Taxes. Users will have to submit sensitive government documents, their social security number, credit history, and a facial scan to third-party company ID.me. [dri]

Both bills have now been defeated. I think Chucky the Crying Blob will now call for a change of the rules, and that will be voted down, and we'll be done here. Except for his Crying Speech.
They're speechifying on Schumer's proposal to scrap the filibuster. I really want to see the Crying Senator cry again.

Philip Melanchthon Wegmann
@PhilipWegmann

In honor of Biden's first year in office, @DNC will project a light display in front of the White House tonight to celebrate accomplishments like "record job numbers, infrastructure investments, and shots in arms under President Biden and Vice President Harris."

The lights will be green as a signal to Putin to invade Ukraine

The first of two voting takeover bills has failed to win cloture. They'll vote on the other one, and then Chuck Schumer will move to proceed to vote on them without cloture, that is, invoke the nuclear option. He will fail on that -- we all expect -- 52 to 48. And then they'll be on to next week's Distraction Theater production.
Oh, forgot to mention: Chuck Schumer will almost certainly give a speech where he cries about how horrible this all is. He always gives one of those. He gave a Crying Speech when he was trying to keep the filibuster, too.

Free Covid test kits via USPS [dri]

Reminder: Here's "President" Hair-Sniffer showing off his "greatest ability" of "connecting with ordinary Americans," especially their underage daughters and especially their hair and young supple bodies

Democrats Don't Have 'Bad Leaders, They Have Bad Followers'
This is a winning strategy! [CBD]

Hostage situation in Texas synagogue. Prayers up. [K.T.] h/t andycanuck Update: All hostages safe, hostage taker dead. Hallelujah! h/t ONT commenters.

Ehud Qimron's Powerful Letter to the Israeli Ministry of Health
And it perfectly describes the situation in America! [CBD]

If you have any information about what mental or hormonal crisis is causing Adam Kinzinger to publicly cry like a woman every other week, please contact Tucker Carlson

thatcrazyjerseyguy: "Doof, please accept my heart felt condolences in t ..."

Commissar Hrothgar ~ In Memorium: Absent Friends and Companions[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]Hug those close. Posted by: NaCly Dog in memor ..."

OrangeEnt: "It is the "yet" qualifier you felt you needed to u ..."

All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes: "Too many losses recently. ..."

Ladyl a toast in loving memory of OM and the others who have gone to glory: "Good morning, Horde. Boyfriend and I are going to ..."

Tonypete: "But even if it is, drafting a memo about something ..."

FenelonSpoke: "I'm still numb and the full reality hasn't set in ..."

Commissar Hrothgar ~ In Memorium: Absent Friends and Companions[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "191 needed to use ..."

Commissar Hrothgar ~ In Memorium: Absent Friends and Companions[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]Of course not. It's what they'd love to do, but ..."

MSM: " It's what they'd love to do, but they haven't bee ..."

sock_rat_eez (9CuDT) [/b][/u][/i][/s]: ""I cannot believe how many of these systems store ..."

NaCly Dog in memory of OregonMuse, Tami, Rickl, redc1c4 and others (u82oZ): "Got chores starting now. Have the best day pos ..."

NewsMax
The O.K. Corral by Wyatt Earp
Second City Cop
Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon
American Digest
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Belmont Club
BizzyBlog
Blackfive, Paratrooper of Love
California Conservative
Chicago Boyz
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Day by Day (Cartoon)
EduWonk
Enter Stage Right
The Epoch Times
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Hell in a Handbasket
Victor Davis Hanson
Hugh Hewitt
The House of Payne
IMAO
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JihadWatch
Just One Minute
Kausfiles
Lileks/The Bleat
Likelihood of Confusion Law Blog
Michael Walsh's The Pipeline
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New Hampshire Review
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Michael Williams/Master of None
WizBang

Kaboom!

Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You

You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss
Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president.

A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You

Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta

Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me

Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn
Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty.

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon

A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates

Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree

Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility

The Dowd-O-Matic!

The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)

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Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Recent Entries Sunday Morning Book Thread 01-23-2022 [All Hail Eris] EMT 1/23/22 Daily Tech News 23 January 2022 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (1/22/22) Tales of Chateau Merde [Jay Guevara Memorial Chess Thread Weekend Hobby and Bodging Thread Ace of Spades Pet Thread Saturday Gardening, Puttering and Dress Thread, Jan. 22 Threat Inflation Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups Houston TX mini-MoMe: 3/26/2022, Contact cybersmithe 1st Annual Alaska MoMe: 7/15-7/17/2022, Willow, Alaska Contact tcn in AK	« George Galloway Incites Muslim World Against West \| Main \| Bush's Approval Rating For Handling Iraq Drops to 38%, Lowest Yet » August 05, 2005 H.S. Coach (and Science Teacher) Reprimanded... For Licking Players' Bleeding Wounds Two years' probation. For licking the bleeding wounds of minors. Repeatedly. This science teacher will also have to attend classes on the dangers of blood-borne pathogens (and saliva-borne pathogens as well, I suppose). Because, I guess, he's never heard of malaria. Or, you know, AIDS. Several students say he was "just joking around." Content Warning. Like the other day I'm hanging out with my friend Stinky. We're both eating lunch at Starbucks, and are enjoying the budget-priced $18.00 eggplant panini. He bends over to slip his laptop back into its case. I reach my hand up his shorts and begin fondling his dirty, sweaty balls. He looks at me like I've got three heads. "Dude," I say, "I'm sooo totally joking around." "Oh," he chuckles, as I continue pumping his jockey-plums. "At first I didn't get it. Now I see it's kind of 'witty'." "Totally," I say. "And later on I'm going to rape you with an avacado." Again, the strange look. "Joking!" I say again, and he laughs. I add, "But I really am going to rape you with an avacado." "You're such a kidder," he says as we exit, my hand still up his shorts, extending the "comedy riff" for as long as possible. I stealthily slip the avacodo out of my backpack and into my right hand. "Just joking around." Hey, it works. Thanks to Dave in Texas, or, as I call him, "Stinky." posted by Ace at 01:09 PM Comments "Thanks to Dave in Texas, or, as I call him, "Stinky."" Lol! Posted by: BrewFan on August 5, 2005 01:31 PM An avocado? I think you gripped that from a movie I saw last night... Posted by: fat kid on August 5, 2005 01:31 PM He should have got a dog to do it. Dogs have the healing power. Posted by: Guy T. on August 5, 2005 01:36 PM well, that took a turn I didn't see coming. could we find a vegetable with a smaller pit? please? Posted by: Dave in Starbucks on August 5, 2005 02:09 PM And afterwards do you have a cigarette and guacamole? Posted by: on August 5, 2005 03:31 PM I add, "But I really am going to rape you with an avacado." This was the point I crapped my pants with laughter. Posted by: Pompous on August 5, 2005 04:20 PM HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Screen cleaning time again... Posted by: Dogstar on August 5, 2005 04:22 PM The strange thing about this post is that we all recognize that Dave in Texas has been honored. How wierd is that? Normally, when someone talks about shoving an avocado up your ass, it is not considered a compliment. This site is just so much fun. Posted by: Michael on August 6, 2005 12:29 AM Michael, Stick around long enough and maybe Ace will find a pineapple with your name on it. Posted by: TheDude on August 6, 2005 01:28 AM he can have mine Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 6, 2005 08:31 AM Post a comment Name: Email Address: URL: Comments: Remember info?	Now Available! The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines Oregon Muse--RIP Dave Reaboi's new podcast with Liel Liebowitz of Tablet, talking generational politics -- "about how it feels to be analog people in a digital world that has largely overtaken us" -- and the now-routine nonsense accusations of racism and anti-semitism which, as we've warned for a decade, now really mean almost nothing (congrats, fellas!) -- and Leonard Cohen More Stronk Alec Baldwin impression I like how he captures Baldwin's arrogance and nastiness, even with a baby ~~Ugly people look better with face diapers.~~ Studies say wearing a mask makes one look better. And I call Bull Shit. [Mis. Hum.] From last week: an anti-vax-passport protest outside the Eiffel Tower Julie Kelly just spoke for five minutes about the "unacceptable" conditions of the political prisoners of January 6th; we may see her get questioned by... Jerry Nadler and Sheila Jackson Lee Rock Icon Meatloaf Dead at 74 His name was . . . Marvin Lee Aday. Bat Out of Hell is arguably among rock's greatest albums. RIP [J.J. Sefton] Comedian Louis Anderson has now died too, at 68, due to blood cancer Stop by the ONT Friday night at 10pm for a collective toast to Oregon Muse and redc1c4. J.J. Sefton, CBD and Misanthropic Humanitarian jabber about Biden/dementia and Ukraine, A moral compass, A Texas synagogue, and of course our friend OregonMuse More bad news...long-time commenter "redc1c4" has passed away. [CBD] IRS Will Require Facial Recognition Scans to Access Your Taxes. Users will have to submit sensitive government documents, their social security number, credit history, and a facial scan to third-party company ID.me. [dri] Both bills have now been defeated. I think Chucky the Crying Blob will now call for a change of the rules, and that will be voted down, and we'll be done here. Except for his Crying Speech. They're speechifying on Schumer's proposal to scrap the filibuster. I really want to see the Crying Senator cry again. Philip Melanchthon Wegmann @PhilipWegmann In honor of Biden's first year in office, @DNC will project a light display in front of the White House tonight to celebrate accomplishments like "record job numbers, infrastructure investments, and shots in arms under President Biden and Vice President Harris." The lights will be green as a signal to Putin to invade Ukraine The first of two voting takeover bills has failed to win cloture. They'll vote on the other one, and then Chuck Schumer will move to proceed to vote on them without cloture, that is, invoke the nuclear option. He will fail on that -- we all expect -- 52 to 48. And then they'll be on to next week's Distraction Theater production. Oh, forgot to mention: Chuck Schumer will almost certainly give a speech where he cries about how horrible this all is. He always gives one of those. He gave a Crying Speech when he was trying to keep the filibuster, too. Free Covid test kits via USPS [dri] Reminder: Here's "President" Hair-Sniffer showing off his "greatest ability" of "connecting with ordinary Americans," especially their underage daughters and especially their hair and young supple bodies Democrats Don't Have 'Bad Leaders, They Have Bad Followers' This is a winning strategy! [CBD] Hostage situation in Texas synagogue. Prayers up. [K.T.] h/t andycanuck Update: All hostages safe, hostage taker dead. Hallelujah! h/t ONT commenters. Ehud Qimron's Powerful Letter to the Israeli Ministry of Health And it perfectly describes the situation in America! [CBD] If you have any information about what mental or hormonal crisis is causing Adam Kinzinger to publicly cry like a woman every other week, please contact Tucker Carlson Recent Comments thatcrazyjerseyguy: "Doof, please accept my heart felt condolences in t ..." Commissar Hrothgar ~ In Memorium: Absent Friends and Companions[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]Hug those close. Posted by: NaCly Dog in memor ..." OrangeEnt: "It is the "yet" qualifier you felt you needed to u ..." All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes: "Too many losses recently. ..." Ladyl a toast in loving memory of OM and the others who have gone to glory: "Good morning, Horde. Boyfriend and I are going to ..." Tonypete: "But even if it is, drafting a memo about something ..." FenelonSpoke: "I'm still numb and the full reality hasn't set in ..." Commissar Hrothgar ~ In Memorium: Absent Friends and Companions[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "191 needed to use ..." Commissar Hrothgar ~ In Memorium: Absent Friends and Companions[/i][/b][/u][/s]: "[i]Of course not. It's what they'd love to do, but ..." MSM: " It's what they'd love to do, but they haven't bee ..." sock_rat_eez (9CuDT) [/b][/u][/i][/s]: ""I cannot believe how many of these systems store ..." NaCly Dog in memory of OregonMuse, Tami, Rickl, redc1c4 and others (u82oZ): "Got chores starting now. Have the best day pos ..." Bloggers in Arms NewsMax The O.K. Corral by Wyatt Earp Second City Cop Talk Of The Town with Steve Noxon American Digest The Anchoress Belmont Club BizzyBlog Blackfive, Paratrooper of Love California Conservative Chicago Boyz Classical Values Cold Fury The Country Store Da Goddess Daily Pundit Dawn Eden Day by Day (Cartoon) EduWonk Enter Stage Right The Epoch Times Ghost of a Flea Grim's Hall Hell in a Handbasket Victor Davis Hanson Hugh Hewitt The House of Payne IMAO Instapundit JihadWatch Just One Minute Kausfiles Lileks/The Bleat Likelihood of Confusion Law Blog Michael Walsh's The Pipeline Michelle Malkin Memeorandum (Metablog) Outside the Beltway Patterico's Pontifications The People's Cube The Pipeline New Hampshire Review Powerline RedState Reliapundit Say Anything Blog Scrappleface Seraphic Press Viking Pundit White Pebble (Politics/Poetry) Michael Williams/Master of None WizBang Some Humorous Asides Kaboom! Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! 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H.S. Coach (and Science Teacher) Reprimanded... For Licking Players' Bleeding Wounds