Ace of Spades HQ

« Paul Begala: Republicans "Want To Kill Us" | Main | Terrorist-In-Training At The Guardian Calls Islamic Extremism Just A Bit of Excessive "Sassiness!" »

July 16, 2005

Rove-Plame-Wilson Haiku Exhibition

Seems like LauraW and Dave from Texas started a haiku war without telling me:

Covert ops haiku

Valerie, you minx
I dare not breathe your secrets
C.I.A. vixen

Secret's safe with me!
And your neighbors, and your friends.
And the D.C. press--

No one else need know
What time you punch your time-card
nine-to-five ninja!

-- LauraW

"Untitled"

Judith Miller said
my source must have been coerced,
why is he giggling?

-- Dave From Texas

My own:

Double-Oh Mom

Top secret mission--
Get young daughters to soccer practice
Codenames: Unicorn and Pretty Princess

posted by Ace at 12:29 PM

Comments

Get out of my hair
Valerie says to Joseph
Go to Africa

Come back with no proof
The evil Bush we will thwart
BWH HA HA HA HA

Posted by: BrewFan on July 16, 2005 12:38 PM

judith miller and the times
to make something of nothing
what a privilege

Posted by: trey on July 16, 2005 01:00 PM

getting noticed

hey I'm famous now
poems, lauraw, teh funnay
sweet blog bucks are next

Posted by: Dave in Texas on July 16, 2005 01:39 PM

Rove, say it ain't so
Covert ops revealed, oh no!
What's that? Nevermind!

Say what, Bob Novak?
Twas not Karl Rove, afterall
Then whom, might we ask?

Posted by: jmflynny on July 16, 2005 04:56 PM

So secret that she
Wore sunglasses in her big
Fashion mag photo.

Posted by: Sean M. on July 16, 2005 07:39 PM

Joe Wilson, spy man
Jethro B. in Burberry
double-naught moron

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 09:27 AM

Joe Wilson, hero
and always nonpartisan,
except when he is

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 10:29 AM

Fifteen minutes fame?
Wilson is way past that mark
Warhol lied, the creep

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 10:33 AM

Poor Joe Wilson's rep
Upper East Side's Party King
going down in Plames.

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 10:43 AM

Delivered pizza once
to Langley’s janitor crew.

Am I a spy now?

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 10:47 AM

Josh Micah Marshall
crying in his drink of choice
Probably green tea

A whiff of scandal
The left jumps on it and screams
Somewhere, Rove just laughs

As attention wanes
Wilson and Plame grow desperate
Next stop: Hefner's mag

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 11:00 AM

Now there's one Playboy
that I will NOT be buying -
Joe in the buff (YUGH).

Posted by: on July 18, 2005 11:14 AM

Double-Oh Mom II: Bake Another Day

Val's biggest secret?
What flavor bundt cake she'll bring
to the school bake sale.

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 11:20 AM

Then there's Oliver
who says Rove is not that smart
Pot and kettle, bud

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 12:05 PM

Hipocrisy Cliche = Dinner Reminder

Ah, Pot and Kettle.
To O Dub, that's no insult -
his stomach rumbles.

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 12:27 PM

Rove smiles and giggles,
Pens invitation to Donks;
'Let's go snipe-hunting.'

Posted by: lauraw on July 18, 2005 12:50 PM

The war cry goes forth
Moonbats unite! Don tin caps
And the spittle flies

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 12:54 PM

Kos rallies the troops
One last moment of glory
Pickett's charge, part two

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 01:01 PM

Remember those sheep
leaping en masse to their end?
An omen for Dems.

Posted by: lauraw on July 18, 2005 01:34 PM

DU is abuzz
with dreams of Rove in handcuffs
And other pipe dreams

'Rove must go!' they cry
overheated in their words
And free with their bile

But it's not to be
and while they are distracted
Bush plots his next move

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 02:06 PM

Best they keep busy
with their non-scandal scandals
and not global chess.

Posted by: lauraw on July 18, 2005 02:55 PM

Well, there's a war on,
But the KOSsacks don't know it
It's all "Plame Plame Plame"

It has been this way
since school - loser kids blurting
at the back of class

making life harder
for the one's who want to work
and make life better.

While serious folks
do the nation's higher math,
leftists throw spitwads.

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 03:35 PM

P.S.

I'm not questioning
their patriotism. No.

It's just that they're - dumb.

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 03:41 PM

To those on the left
the only war that exists
is against the right

Republicans are
the real enemy, not those
who kill with terror

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 03:54 PM

The Left on the Day's News

Part I: Domestic Response to Terror

PlameRovePlameRovePlame
RoveRoveRoveRoveRoveRoveRove
PlamePlamePlamePlameRove

Part II: Taking the Fight to the Enemy

Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Hugs!
Hugs UNDERSTANDING Hugs Hugs
Wait! I'm your friend! BOOM.

Posted by: Rocketeer on July 18, 2005 04:16 PM

Part III: On Domestic Policy

Chimpy McHitler!
Halliburton and Enron
Bush Crime Family!

Posted by: Slublog on July 18, 2005 04:29 PM

integrity kick

Is it just me that
taps fingers on the table
while writing these things?

Posted by: Haiku in Texas on July 18, 2005 11:18 PM

Tattered curtain falls
Last act for the clown Wilsons
Someone get The Hook

Posted by: on July 19, 2005 02:02 AM

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

TJM talks about Billy Wilder

Democrat Congresswoman Sara Jacobs cites Me-Again Kelly, Cavernous Nostrils, Alex Jones and Tuq'r Qarlson as proof that concerns about Trump's mental health are "bipartisan"
As Bonchie from Red State says: Know the op when you see it.

Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.

Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain

Podcast: CBD and Sefton Charge the Democrats with fomenting violence against the nation with their rhetoric, Virginia redistricting going down the tubes? Trump's bully pulpit is not censorship, Lee Zeldin is a star, J.B. Pritzker is an idiot, and more!