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« Rovemania -- Not Genuine News Of Any Importance, But An Amazing Simulation | Main | Andrew Sullivan, Steady As She Goes »
July 15, 2005

MSNBC Makes A Funny

Their headline, not mine:

Brazilian bandits pull off big boob job

More than 400 breast implants nipped from postal service van

Yeahp. "Nipped."

H/t to Craig.

Yeah, I Know: The story actually comes from Reuters. But I think that re-publishers of stories make up their own headlines when they want.

And I don't think there's much question that Reuters has no sense of humor.


posted by Ace at 12:51 PM
Comments



(snort)

Made me swallow a lugie, man.

Posted by: rdbrewer on July 15, 2005 12:59 PM

Thanks for keeping us abreast of this story.

Posted by: on July 15, 2005 01:20 PM

Someone's got to shine the headlamps of journalism on stories like this.

Posted by: skinbad on July 15, 2005 01:46 PM

Talk about trying to make mountains out of mole hills.

Posted by: on July 15, 2005 02:53 PM

Could the thieves be using their ill-gotten booty to purchase body art? You know, tit for tat...

Posted by: BrewFan on July 15, 2005 02:55 PM

Tit Thieves seek Clandestine Cleavage Consultants to fence Ill-Gotten Goods.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on July 15, 2005 03:37 PM

Latest news is the thieves were thought to be headed to the Silicon Valley area.

Posted by: on July 15, 2005 03:38 PM

Headline I would like to see

Private Dicks Search For Fake Tits

Posted by: on July 15, 2005 03:42 PM

BAH! That was funny.

I've been to Brazil on business about 15 times. This kind of armed robbery is like an epidemic down there. It's very commonplace to see cars with armed guards following trucks.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on July 15, 2005 03:50 PM

Then there's this one: King County sheriff's office investigating possible animal abuse. Don't let the headline fool you. I'd say the horse was abuser in this case.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega on July 15, 2005 03:56 PM

Nice link Raoul. The money quote would have to be "Bestiality is not illegal in Washington state."

ROFL! Washington; where men are men and sheep are nervous!

Posted by: BrewFan on July 15, 2005 04:05 PM

Good link. How about this one? The story asks the eternal question. When a disabled man has sex with his guide dog, what do you charge him with?

Posted by: Slublog on July 15, 2005 07:02 PM

Slublog:

Kinda puts a different spin on, "hey, babe, wanna get Lucky in a sexual sort of way?"

Posted by: cthulhu on July 16, 2005 12:01 AM
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Top Headlines
"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.
Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over
"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)
No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.
Now they've lost 84%.
Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.
Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...
The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.


Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.
(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.


Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party
STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.
Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.
Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:
spidermanthreatormenace.jpg

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"
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Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!
Leftists who have been drawing Frankendistricts for decades are suddenly upset about Republican line-drawing
Socialist usurper Obama cut commercials urging Virginians to vote for the bizarre "lobster" gerrymander -- but now says gerrymanders are so racist you guys
Obama is complaining about the new Louisiana map -- but here's the thing, the new map has much more compact and rational borders than the old racial gerrymander map
Pete Bootyjudge is whining too. But here's the Illinois gerrymander he supports.
Big Bonus! Under the new Florida congressional map, Debbie Wasserman Schultz will probably lose her seat
And she can't even go on The View because she's ugly a clump of stranger's hair in the bath-drain
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