Ace of Spades HQ

« Missing Pretty Girl Syndrome. [Dave at Garfield Ridge] | Main | Andrew Sullivan: I Don't Like Him Very Much. [Dave at Garfield Ridge] »

June 11, 2005

Howard Dean Reaches Bottom, Digs. [Dave at Garfield Ridge]

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democratic National Committee leaders embraced feisty party boss Howard Dean on Saturday and urged him to keep fighting despite a flap over his blunt comments on Republicans.
After a meeting of the DNC's 40-member executive committee at a downtown hotel, members said Dean was doing exactly what they elected him to do -- build the party in all states and aggressively challenge Republicans.

"I hope Governor Dean will remember that he didn't get elected to be a wimp," said DNC member Gilda Cobb-Hunter, a South Carolina state representative. "We have been waiting a long time for someone to stand up for Democrats."

Wow, Gilda, you've been waiting for, what, all of three minutes?

Yeah, you Democrats never "stand up" for each other.

Bill Clinton, he never stood up for Democrats.

Al Gore? Shirking violet.

Hillary Clinton? Man-calves, but girlish heart.

John Kerry? Cuddly French-loving wuss.

Ted Kennedy? Nothing but beer muscles.

Why, before Howard Dean arrived, the Democrats were positively polite, adhering to Marquis of Queensberry rules at every turn. If only those mean-spirited Republican wolves hadn't been so gosh-darn evil in their hoods and cross-burning and child-eating.

Why, before Howard Dean arrived, Bill "Gummi Worm Penis" Maher and Whoopi "Rock Hard Turtle Penis" Goldberg were actually funny. It was only when Republicans started making the baby Jesus cry that Democrats started "standing up for all Americans" by bashing half of all Americans.

The best thing about Howard Dean, aside from his intoxicating entertainment value and musky, Victor Mature-like scent, is that he's doomed to failure. A spectacularly humiliating, embarrassing public failure. And it will inevitably be suffered at his own hand.

Dean's pathologic need for attention will continue to drive him to ever-more ridiculous statements and wacky gambits. Hell, he might as well just go ahead and set fire to himself now.

You know it's only a matter of time.

I just hope he flames out on Russert, so I can TiVo it.

posted by Ace at 10:04 PM

Comments

OK, this was kind of funny. I still want Ace back.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 10:18 PM

Well, see? There ya go! It's all about positive attitude! Never fear - Ace will return soon and be posting da funny. But still - isn't this better than checking back every so often and just seeing what he posted at 8:00 am? Plus I'm getting more aquainted with some of the other bloggers. I've become a regular reader over at Wuzzadem's and Dave's. Good stuff guys!

Posted by: Enas Yorl on June 11, 2005 10:27 PM

And you *will* get Ace back, tomorrow.

Work with me here, Megan. I want to give you what you want, what you need.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on June 11, 2005 10:30 PM

I'm gonna start crying soon if Ace doesn't come back and say something mean about Excitable Andy. Dave, Zelda, et al, I demand you cater to my whims in the meantime.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 10:31 PM

Dave, go read Andy so I don't have to, and mock him. It'll help me forget I'm sitting around at home alone, crying in a glass of Guinness on a Saturday night.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 10:35 PM

*ahem*

Posted by: et al on June 11, 2005 11:07 PM

That didn't make me laugh.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 11:08 PM

Ah, well ya know Megan, it really isn't all about you.

I've come to the conclusion that you do in fact suck. Sorry, but there it is. I'm now openly daring the wrath of Megan.

You suck. You suck so much that you have become a singularity of suckness. No non-sucking-thing can possibly escape the suckhole that is Megan.

There Megan. You have completly destroyed the universe with your overwhelming suckiosity. Happy now?

Posted by: Enas Yorl on June 11, 2005 11:20 PM

"Ah, well ya know Megan, it really isn't all about you."

No, it really is.

Tyson quits on his stool at 6, another $1200 in my pocket. Sigh. The world is so predictable.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 11:27 PM

Ummm Mike Tyson stops shitting after 6 o' clock and gives you 1200 hundred dollars? And this is predictable for you? Wow. What color is the sky in your world Megan?

Posted by: Enas Yorl on June 11, 2005 11:36 PM

...idiot. :)

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 11:37 PM

Granted, I'm one of Megan's Idiots. Ace has already graced me with the coveted title of "Fucking Retard" in another posting so I'll add it to my collection. But you didn't answer my question - what is the color of the sky in your world?

Posted by: Enas Yorl on June 11, 2005 11:44 PM

Black.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 11:46 PM

Ah, well I should have guessed. But I am both an Ace "Fucking Retard" and Megan "Idiot" award winner so I think I won't beat myself up too much over it. Hmm - black sky eh? I think I can do something with it. As Arnold said - "I'll be back."

Posted by: Enas Yorl on June 12, 2005 12:05 AM

funny!

Posted by: lauraw on June 12, 2005 03:03 PM

Quoted and linked this on my blog.
Thank You,

Posted by: GrampaPinhead on June 14, 2005 01:42 AM

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust.

Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot