Ace of Spades HQ

« "Hoist The Black Flag" Replay Schedule - Zelda of The Urban Grind | Main | Missing Pretty Girl Syndrome. [Dave at Garfield Ridge] »

June 11, 2005

I Bet He Has. [Dave at Garfield Ridge]

Come now, Monica wasn't *that* fat. . .

posted by Ace at 07:24 PM

Comments

Maybe she wasn't *that* fat (being that there are plenty of obese people in this world), but she sure was gross.

Posted by: Zelda on June 11, 2005 07:27 PM

You guys suck. I want Ace back. :(

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 08:19 PM

Gee, strike a nerve Megan?

So, are you a Democrat, or are you fat?

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on June 11, 2005 08:28 PM

Or maybe a combo?

Posted by: on June 11, 2005 08:32 PM

Neither. You just suck and I miss Ace.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 08:35 PM

I think we're all missing a bigger point - that girl's t-shirt sucked ass. Get it? Ass? I'm so witty.

Well, sometimes, anyway.

Posted by: CollegePundit on June 11, 2005 09:06 PM

You mean you... oh, wait, you're not on the list of vacuous, incompetent pinch-hitters that faithless bastard Ace paid off. Sorry. I'm bitter tonight.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 09:09 PM

I realize I'm going to get my naive, romantic ass flamed off its mounting for posting this, but even though I was never a big Clinton supporter, I actually thought Monica Lewinsky was rather attractive-- and, at heart, a decent person.

Sure, she was... rotund, and I think she needed (and hopefully got) some intensive therapy after all the business of 1998-1999. But she never struck me as someone who ever wanted to hurt anyone else-- even Hillary or Linda Tripp.

Monica was simply (as are many children of wealthy/connected families) so blinded by her own desires as to be unable to see them through to their logical (and, as we all witnessed, disastrous) conclusion.

Of course, that doesn't excuse her own narrow-minded actions, and fairness demands I mention that her book was a *big* disappointment (it should have been titled "Poor Little Rich Girl"). But although she's also (unfortunately) since proven that despite her protestations, she most certainly enjoys the notoriety the impeachment scandal got her... she was the ONLY one in the whole mess (not Hillary who subsequently christened the great Right-Wing Conspiracy; either of the McDougals; or of course the big enchilada himself) who ever ACTUALLY said, "I'm sorry, I screwed up."

But then again, I don't know why I'm posting this here. If it's any consolation, nowadays I'm into lusting after Catherine Zeta-Jones. I sure know how to pick attainable women, don't I?

(I'll be sticking my head in a paper bag and leaving now to drown my lovesick sorrows in a margarita at Chili's...)

STEVE

Posted by: qdpsteve on June 11, 2005 09:29 PM

Hey Dave, ignore this girl. I think you're great.

Posted by: Zelda on June 11, 2005 09:47 PM

You forgot to mention one of Monica's other redeeming qualities, Steve:

The girl liked to suck herself some dick!

Posted by: Sean M. on June 11, 2005 09:48 PM

Zelda, you suck, too.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 09:54 PM

Jeepers Megan. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch? I think you guys are doing great and I appreciate all the efforts you've made. Hell, Ace usually doesn't post much on the weekends anyway so it's all gravy!

And yes, Megan, I'm sure that I suck with bells on no less. And I blow too...that's all I do - suck and blow. Hear the wind outside? That's all me - sucking and blowing. :-D

Posted by: Enas Yorl on June 11, 2005 10:03 PM

You're not subbing (poorly) for Ace so you haven't yet drawn my wrath down upon you, Enas. :)

And I don't appreciate their efforts regardless of how much or how little Ace used to post. 'Cause... they suck.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 10:09 PM

I wonder if this is how Megan also talks to people in person.

Posted by: Zelda on June 11, 2005 10:24 PM

Yes. I don't have many friends left. :(

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 10:26 PM

I wonder if this is how Megan also talks to people in person.

Posted by Zelda at June 11, 2005 10:24 PM

I kind of like it, but I can be that way sometimes. EVERYBODY SUCKS! At least until one of my lame ass posts on my lame ass blog gets linked. So there. Pffft.

This kind of sounds like one of those Red Vs. Blue animations.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on June 11, 2005 10:31 PM

No wonder you're bitter Megan.

Posted by: Zelda on June 11, 2005 10:45 PM

Republicans are much sexier. Who'd want somebody who's hung like an ass?

Posted by: Vivi on June 11, 2005 10:50 PM

Laugh it up, Zelda. In the morning I'll be sober, but you'll still never hold a candle to the love of my life, a/k/a Ace.

Posted by: Megan on June 11, 2005 10:52 PM

Way to network, Digital BS!

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem on June 11, 2005 11:09 PM

Way to network, Digital BS!
It's just the meds talking.

Posted by: digitalbrownshirt on June 11, 2005 11:16 PM

I once saw elephants, during a "show", humping at Oakland Zoo... and - as Lou Reed might say if he were still relevant - the coloUred girls went completely freaking nuts... but I'm sure that's not pc, it's only the truth. but I digress...

Life is So Grand!!

Posted by: Tom v G on June 12, 2005 01:01 AM

Does that mean she makes donkey porn for the internets?

Posted by: The Unabrewer on June 12, 2005 01:56 AM

Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo DOO doo doo, doo...

Posted by: Kazmin on June 12, 2005 05:16 AM

Monica Lewinsky gave Clinton something like a dozen oral experiences.

She made about $8 million in the space of 3 years from her book, weight watchers endorsement, etc. Call it 6 million after taxes.

12 blowjobs and some embarassment in exchange for retirement on $300,000 a year at the age of 25.

I'm just saying, I wish I could get that deal. She's one fortunate woman.

Posted by: staghounds on June 12, 2005 07:06 PM

any Clinton stooge who does not get dead...gets paid off. but, it still sucks to be a Clinton stooge under any and all meanings of the word ''sucks''.
it sucks more than being a stooge for Acey on weekends...
but i'm glad all these brave bloggers pitch in to help.
i dont want my sweetheart of the blogosphere Ace to become a lazyass burned-out bum like that Allah [may His Name be Blessed]... my EX-sweetheart of blogdom. Sigh.

yes Megan, love hurts.

Posted by: on June 13, 2005 02:02 AM

Amazon.com Widgets

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]

Top Headlines

Few people remember that Norm MacDonald began his career as a ventriloquist
MacDonald's old partner Adam Egot revealed that MacDonald repurposed a bit with one of his ventriloquist dolls -- that he was a "bad guy" who "didn't believe the Holocaust happened" -- for the Norm MacDonald show, in which he claimed Egot didn't believe in the Holocaust.

Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
Posted by: Smell the Glove

I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

TJM wonders about world building in stories, mostly The Hunger Games

"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

Hamas is Humiliating Trump's 'Board of Peace'
[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

Tucker Carlson is pretty sure Trump is a wizard

Ted Turner Dies At 87 [CBD]

Podcast: Starting a new season, CBD and Sefton discuss their personal journeys to conservative principles, is Nick Shirley the beginning of a trend?, Iran trying to reignite the war, the Left attacks itself, even on "Best Guitarist" lists, and more!

TJM definitively ranks the films of Billy Wilder, like Some Like It Hot

I Bet *He* Has. [Dave at Garfield Ridge]

I Bet He Has. [Dave at Garfield Ridge]