Yeah, I tried that too. Vader's pretty sharp - he got "asbestos" in 17 questions.

I started laughing as soon as the door opened. And then again when he guessed right and he and the Stormtrooper started applauding themselves. Complete idiocy. And it feels so good.

I'll give it up - It got Coelacanth in 17 also.

It got orange in 13 if you start off with Vegetable.

The insults are priceless.

I stumped him on Clone Trooper.

Aglet - 23 questions

Well, he never did manage to guess "Jar Jar Binks," even though he made pathetic stabs like "is it a bullfrog?" and "is it a zebra eel?"

Finally the King from the Burger King ads had to come out and whisper a few suggestions to him. Which confirms what I've always suspected about the essential evil of that character.

Took him 25 guess to get garlic. Garlic. How hard is that, really?

I stumped him with rain water. Freaking rain water!! He gave up after 35 questions. Dark Helmet would prove a better adversary...maybe even Colonel Sandurz.

"It's funny, partly because it's well done, which means that, for all the time I just wasted, some poor schmuck spent a hell of a lot more time writing the code."

Yeah, but considering that the site was created for Burger King by it's award-winning powerhouse ad agency (creators of the Subservient Chicken), that dude probably got paid a substantial chunk of change to code that site. (Well, at least more than we get paid as high-powered bloggers)

platypus in 26 questions

yeah, the Burger King king freaked me out walking out there. What was he doing back in Vader's pod?

I was just about to ask about the chicken thing. After awhile, Boba Fett comes out and shoots the Subserviant chicken

Ahhh... I did not know about the Burger King thing.

The force is not strong in me. Neither is basic human common sense.

He did manage to get turnip in 20 questions, but for question 17 he asked "Does it use electricity?" What kind of vegtable uses electricity. Of course that was after the Burger King came out, so he may have thrown Vader.

He couldn't get hydrogen. Guessed helium, argon, lithium, arsenic, NO2, but not hydrogen after 35 questions.

There is something funny about Darth vader saying "Is it a rutabega?"

Okay, I am doing this way too much, but Vader is a moron. He couldn't guess dog. Just a simple dog. What was even stranger was he asked "Is it a Pikachu?"

Heh, who knew Sith Lords were Pokemon fans?

Aaron--

The two-potato clock uses electricity.

Hey, you asked.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Stumped by Paul Anka

It doesn't even pay much attention to some of the answers.

Is it a superhero? no (although I could have gone with "depends")

Then, 2 questions later, Is it Superman?

He hasn't gotten one yet. So far he's missed the speed of light, the Civil War, and a jellyfish. But in any case, damn you, Ace!

He got "elephant" but could't guess "cock ring." Stick with the simple nouns, I guess...

He couldn't get octopus either. Looks like all my years of miraculously getting psionic powers for every AD&D character I played rubbed off.

29 questions for "pomegranate." Damn you, Ace.

Couldn't get pussy, but then neither can ACE. haha.
Does it have fur... sometimes... is it dangerous...sometimes....

It did ask me what I was thinking of.

It has "breast milk" as an object but not "cock ring?" WTF?!?

The Darth game mirrors the original "20 Questions" game. The one above has a much better propensity for getting things right--it got earplugs in 29 questions whereas Darth gave up after 24.

Dave,
Would the two-potato clock be considered a vegtable or an appliance?

Also, it seems pretty sad that Vader could not guess "Death Star" when I tried it.

I guess sometimes you can't see the forest for the extremely large spherical destruction device you use to tool around space.

Alex, he also couldn't guess Princess Leia, although he did manage to get as close as, "Is it a daughter?"

His ignorance on points like this goes far toward explaining the extremely lax plotting in the last few SW movies.

The "prologue" to the game says Darth won't guess specifics.

He'll guess "a friend" but not "your friend, Chuck."

Yes, you cannot read directions yet you try to match wits with a Master of the Dark Side?

Obi Wan has not taught you well.

By the way, the fool who entered "my dick in Darth Vader's ass" is due for a great disturbance in his force.

Ah yes, master. Now I see: it has to be something abstract and general. Like a coelacanth. Or a zebra eel.

I think you held your head under the lava too long, you oversized fashion blunder.

Ace, check out this review ...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/mistful/68456.html#cutid1

I think the algorithm is quite good. Vader correctly guessed BUTT in 27 questions. Don't pick something too specific like "Civil War" or "George Lucas's laundry", or get too cute with the literal interpretation. Technically you CAN use your butt to communicate, but then don't bitch when Vader makes a stupid guess.

"Cigarette lighter" in 14. Not bad.

Couldn't get "whiskey" in 30, though. Wasn't even on his final suggestions list.

There was no lava. Lucas made up everything in the three "prequels."

My real mistake was years of steroid abuse and one tiny, tiny mishap while free-basing cocaine.

He guessed "Corgi" when I was thinking German Shepherd. Obviously, there are not many dogs in the Death Star.

Got "dirty sanchez" in only 8 guesses. Impressive.

heh

He couldn't guess "ice". Heh.

I read about a new gizmo that was invented by having a 20 Questions game on the internet. All available responses became part of an A.I. gizmo that I hear is pretty damn scary. Maybe Burger King bought it for Darth.

Clearly the funniest visit to a blog today. Thanks.

He never got mine: lard.

Dude, I'm sorry. I can forgive Lord Vader for missing a lot of stuff -- after all, he did live a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

But he couldn't guess "the Force." The Goddamn Force.

Not cool, Darth Vader. Not cool.

I am cracking the fuck up! My 'thought' was VAGINA.

Q. Do you use it a work? LOL right from the get go.
A. Well I suppose some people do, don't they. Depends.

Q. Does it get wet?
A. LOL again. Oh yeah, does it ever!

Q. Is it used for entertainment?
A. This just keeps getting better. Sometimes.

Q. Is it outside?
A. Well, it is and it isn't. I put no.

Q. Is it manufactured?
A. I put no. But then I thought, "Well yeah, sometimes it is. I'd wager some of Ace's readers have some 'manufactured' vaginas at home.

Q. Does it have a hole in it?
A. You betcha.

Q. Is it shaped like a hotdog?
A. LOL again. I know what you're thinking! No.

Q. Does it have a sense of smell?
A. Chuckle, giggle. How to answer this one? No.

Q. Can you hold it?
A. Not really, though you can pet it!

Q. Can you open it?
A. Oh yeah baby, but only if you're not a Star Wars geek.

Q. Do you use it in public?
A. People have. But no, yer not sposed to.

Q. Is it round?
A. Only if it's been stretched out of shape by large produce items. No.

Q. Is it delicious?
A. That really depends on how well kept it is.

Q. Are there many different sorts of it?
A. You betcha.

Q. Can you play games with it?
A. Yes. But if you do it at the wrong times or too often, you could lose half your shit, including your house, car, and dog.

At this point, the creepy silent Burger King dude comes out with suggestions.

Q. Is it a mammal?
A. Technically no, though it has some mammalian nicknames.

Q. Is it a womb?
A. Sooooooooo close!

Q. Can you pet it?
A. Only if you want it to be nice to you. Yes.

Q. Is it sex?
A. Close!

Q. Can it be worn by a person?
A. Some certainly fit like a glove. Others are so big they could be worn like a hat! Uh, no.

Q. Is it a part of something larger?
A. You have no idea. It's part of my universe! Yes.

Q. Can you buy it?
A. Well, yeah. Last I checked it was $100 at Times Square. Depends.

Q. Is it a sphincter?
A. Close!

Q. Does it hold water?
A. I've seen those 'squirter' videos. Hmm. Irrelevant.

Q. Is it sex?
A. Again, close!

Q. Does it make noise?
A. LOFL! In too many funny ways. Sometimes.

Q. Is it sex?
A. Jesus! DV needs to get laid! Sex on the brain that one! Close.

Q. Is it lips?
A. It has verticle ones if that counts. Close.

Darth gives up and gives me a list from which to choose. Mouth, gland, muscle, butt, urethra, bath, navel, other - to which I sent VAGINA.

Thanks Ace! Can't wait to play it with my wife after we've embibed with a few cocktails! Cheers all!!

Avoid the graphics and annoying music. Browse to http://www.20q.net and encounter a learning Twenty Questions server. Register to have your answers taken seriously.

v/r bfs

Vader can guess both "vagina"/"pussy" and penis. If he didn't guess it, it's b/c you gave him the wrong impression. If he's about to guess vagina, he asks

"Does it involve contact with other humans?" YES
"Is it paradise?" YES
"Lorder Vader knows what you are thinking!"

And then that's all he will reveal. Same goes for "penis"

Gee, Aaron, I independently tested "platypus", and Vader got it in sixteen questions. I guess he's a fast learner. Or perhaps, unlike you, I didn't have the guts to lie to The Dark Lord of the Sith.

Quartz! How damned difficult is 'quartz'?

He said that he'd read my mind, and then that was then end. I never even got a guess.

I tried again, and it got quartz pretty quickly with just a couple of changes in my answers.

Dog, however, was hilarious. I kept getting questions such as "Would you see it in a bathroom?" "Does it bend without breaking?"

On number 29 he guessed 'seeing eye dog', when I answered that it wasn't, he said I was giving him a headache. Then asked if it was a 'husky', I answered 'no'. Then, it came back with "I'm tired of toying with you" and threw up about 10 different choices at once.

That was pretty funny!

Dumb bell -- Guessed hair dye at 25; scalpel at 29; syringe at 30. Swing and a miss!

Pencil -- 17 questions but at least I saw the chicken show.

Courthouse -- Oil rig at 20; mall at 24; warehouse at 27; high school at 29 (like that's different from a warehouse?); Air ball!

Airline (not an airplane, OK?) -- Computer virus at 20; philosophy at 23; holiday at 25; dance at 28; fight at 30. WHIFF!

OK, not common enough?

Porno -- (Question 14: do you clean it regularly?) CD at 17 -- asked endlessly. Had to shut poor Darth down since he went into brain fry. I mean, geez. "Music" would have probably gotten to the same place.

And suddenly I see it's an hour of my life gone. Can I send a bill to Burger King? #@%# Ace. Why, oh, why do I keep coming back?

Couldn't get "white rabbit" -- guess he's not a Jefferson Airplane fan (or Alice).

Tried him out on "basil" and he called the game a win without actually answering the question. Whassup with that?

Took him a while, but he got "bass guitar".

Broccoli in 17. However, Lord Vader did ask me "Does it server a purpose?" And I'm not quite sure on that one. Does it? I mean, broccoli?

OT.

Ace, last night as I was driving home a song came on the radio... a fine song indeed. Jump. By Paul F'n Anka. The station then had a contest to see if anyone could identify who sang it... so thank you, for helping me Not win Amy Mann tickets. I gotta get a cel phone.

19. Is it breast milk?

How stupidly clever of me..

I was thinking of nothing So I answered "no" to every single question including the question: "are you thinking of nothing?" (because I wasn't thinking of anything).

In the end Darth just stod there paralyzed or somethin.

Darth did not impress me, I had no trouble beating the force.

So what now, choke myself?

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