Please don't tell me you are crying over 2,000 hits for a Thursday morning. Ace, I mean Hoke, you have spent too much time in big time blog-money area.

My group blog that you made fun of yesterday (still working on getting you classified as a nonperson) had it's best day yet (with your link) with almost 250 hits that day. 2,000 is a great week for us.

Honestly, I think the lack of Gannon, Paul Anka and Pat O'Brien (with Betsy of course) is hurting. Maybe they should guest host (no offense Hoke).

The posting on ACE has defintely been better than usual, I guess ACE didn't have time to devote to it anymore, what with selling his body for crack and his raging black tar heroin habit and all.

Good Posting

This was actually a hoke post. I don't mind good numbers being publicized, but even I'm not that much of a self-promoting cocksucker.

It goes without saying that the big bump is all due to Glenn Reynolds, the Traffic Santa. Well, not entirely all due to him; there were a couple of other big links, including Bill from InDC and of course Allah.

Allah still throws the traffic, even when he's barely blogging.

Allah is the man..ur, god. He has been out of blogging for months, sets up some crappy site and still brings in the traffic.

The world would be so much better with Ace back and with Allah back (in full form).

I'm crying a river for you Ace.

Hoke wasn't the new Darren.

He's more like Ted McGinley.

Yeah, so just imagine how many hits you would get if my picture was front and center.

Can you say "Bob Dole's Cockalanche"?

Still haven't gotten my teeshirt. Ace ripped off the wrong guy. I have purchased a tube of KY Jelly and am planning my trip to the back alleys of Massapequa to get my money's worth.

That's the problem, Ace (if you are, in fact, Ace). You got fat, You got lazy. Your skills diminished. You authorized a tee shirt that looks like someone wet-farted over the left side of it.

Hoke needs to tighten this ship up, and if declining readership is part of the recovery, so be it.

Oh, you bastard. I thought you were putting up the chart to show I had good numbers.

I should have known you were trying to knock me. Bastard.

Well, dude, let me tell ya something: it's only 11:20 EDT.

What do you care? This ship has sailed, bitch, and you've been left on dock to "please" those on shore leave.

I bet you look scrumptious in your shirt.

"Hey boys, look at me! I'm a pirate!"

Dance, Minnie. Dance.

Whoa, an Ace v. Hoke smackdown. Now that's what I'm talking about! All we need is Smitty and Johnny Coldcuts to be the special guest referees with Paul Anka singing the national anthem.

ROFLMAO

Such a low and dirty maneuver - who takes screenshots of their traffic at midnight?!? I love it!

Good God... all the whining... "My traffic is down"... "We don't like the T-shirt design"... "I didn't get my T-shirt yet"... (Oh, wait, that's me.)

So the traffic has cratered! So this retirement gag is hurting the site, and requires an immediate about-face! So you're the number one Google site for "flop sweat man boobs"! Sure, it's HUMILIATING, but take it like a man, for God's sake!

We're ready to "Pimp for Ace", by wearing your shirt around our offices and places of otherwise respectable business... Pull yourself off the floor, man, take back the con, and let's see the ol' Ace we know and lov-, er, tolerate.

And I didn't get my T-shirt yet...