"I recall S.L.A. Marshall noting that amidst the trained soldiers are born warriors, and those born warriors, maybe ten percent of a unit, inflict something like 50% of all casualties on the enemy."

I think Marshall's completely right about that.

This is going to sound lame, comparing paintball to real combat, but when I played paintball as a teenager, we had a friend who was like that. Any team he was on, won. He'd often take out the entire opposing team while we never even hit anyone. Then when we'd make teams lopsided to put him at a disadvantage, he'd still kick all our asses. And most of us had years more experience than him. He was just a natural. It's probably the same in war, with guys like Alvin York, Audie Murphy, Brian Chontosh, and Tim Haag.

I'm partial to number 2.

But you can never go wrong putting the Bob Dole's cock reference at number 1.

Ace... put that top 10 on a shirt with a pic of Ash on on the other side, and I'll pay double.

news flash- not MARINE - he's ARMY
He's in an ANG unit (Army National Guard)
Marine Corps don't have spec's, they
have corporals and lance corporals
if ya hafta be generic call him a grunt
Hooah

Just the Top Ten and "Like A Viking", and maybe get Haag to autograph them...now THAT'S a t-shirt.

I hope if he ever sees this, he gets at least a couple of the jokes. He might not be a geek, you know. In fact, I'd have to say that there's no WAY he's a geek, and I dare anyone to call him that.

"He suppressed them ..."

I like that a lot.

He suppressed those motherfuckers LIKE A VIKING!

You're killing me man! Love that Top Ten List and I am truly impressed and grateful to Haag. Somehow I missed this story in my local paper...hmmm.....

Ace, this is just brilliant.

"7. Compelled one terrorist to surrender just by quoting Rodney Dangerfield's Caddyshack lines in a "very hurtful" tone of voice."

Hey, you scratched my anchor!

"5. Promoted on the battlefield to newly-created rank of 'Muad’Dib'"

My name is a killing word, bitch. Indeed.

amazing story, hopefully this one gets around and people hear about it

top 10 was hilarious, but as has been noted, Spec. is Army rank, E-4, not Marines

During WWII the press (generally) celebrated our heros and accomplishments and downplayed our mistakes and inadequcies. A book just came out that claims that Iwo Jimi was a mistake and a waste of lives and resources. The author says that we completely misunderestimated the strenght of the Japenese force on the island and their fortifications, and only decided to attack because it looked easy. As a result, it was a long slogging bloodbath for which there was no strategic reason, we had only decided to attack because it looked easy. There was nothing about the island that would justify such sacrafice. To cover this up, the military created this fiction that we needed it as a landing spot for crippled bombers returning from missions. The author claims that there were lots of better places for these planes land and that the total number of landings at Iwo Jima was a tiny fraction of what the military claimed it was. If true, it would undermine one of our great national symbols, the statue of the raising of the flag on Iwo Jima. But also if true, it is a testament to the pre-Liberal press who for 60 years kept quiet about it. I don't see how these allegations serve us or anyone else, except of course the author.

The point here is that before the Liberal MSM the press generally acted responsibly and understood the value of putting the best possible face on the war. Today we have just the opposite. But even the MSM can't hide some of the hopeful signs in the war on terror.

It says "Originally published on May 16, 2004." What's this about Easter Sunday and missing it in the paper? You read year-old newspapers?

Great story, btw. Court-martial the CO for sending brave men out in those deathtraps. And somebody please tell me this was before all that "soldier-asked-a-tough-question" crap last year and they're not still doing that.

Bob Dole's Cock: Is there anything it can't do?

Terrific post, Ace. Thanks for once again promoting a story which seems to have slipped under the radar of all of my local media outlets, oddly enough. And I loved the geek references in the Top Ten list. The fact that I got all of them is probably the Number One Reason why I will never be an authentically dangerous battlefield mofo like Timothy Haag.

Ace, your facts about S.L.A. Marshall are right, but S.L.A Marshall's facts may be wrong.

While an engaging writer, he turns out to have been a pretty sloppy social scientist.

The best piece is here: http://carlisle-www.army.mil/usawc/Parameters/03autumn/chambers.htm

Or read here: http://hnn.us/articles/1356.html

Or read here: http://www.warchronicle.com/us/combat_historians_wwii/marshallfire.htm

Regardless of whether his thesis was right, it certainly *feels* right, hence why it's still a deeply-held belief in spite of the evidence.

That all said, whatever "Slam" Marshall ultimately lacked in social science ability, he more than made up for with great combat writing. It's good stuff, even if it may have the unfortunate virtue of gross hyperbole.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

This, my friends, is why the United States Army is the best friggin' fighting machine in the world. Stupid jarheads have NOTHING over the Army. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Imagine how many stories there are of Delta Force (another Army branch, mind you) opened up cans of whoop-ass on those stupid terrorists, and yet, nobody know's 'em because the Pentagon won't even admit that Delta Force exists. Hooah! Don't you all find it funny that the Associated Press, CNN, MSNBC, and even FOX News and Talk radio seem to forget these stories? Keep bringing 'em, dude, they're stellar. (As I'm writing this, Glen Beck is focusing on child molestors. Who gives!? Tell us about stories of American heros!)

I read that after bob dole's cock went flacid he used jeff gannon's gay porn man cock of doom.

Thanks for the corrections. Loose shit!

"Like a Viking" and "Bob Dole's Cock" in the same Top Ten List! I think I've died and gone to heaven.

Hey, I just read we captured Saddam!! YEAAARRGH!

On the SLA Marshall front, his studies lead to a lot of changes in military training. One of the big problems was that infantrymen couldn't pull the trigger with an actual human in their sights, as opposed to a round paper target. So the military changed to man shaped targets, and emphasized killing the enemy, and the 50% figure (I think it was actually closer to 10% IIRC) went up to like 90%. Good book about it: On Killing, by Grossman (?).

I try to keep up on the MOH, Navy Cross, and Silver Star awards in this war, but I missed this one (the Chontosh story was similarly amazing).

I really hope Haag gets some recognition of the shiny kind for that astounding display of manly fucking heroism.

As far as I can tell from the internets, though, there's no medal for Haag publicized.

Guest blogger next week -- Vinny Falcone.

Still -- a great story, even if it's a year old. And Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, and Army of Darkness -- man, what great movies. Ash rocks.

Ash is the man we'd all like to be.

James Bond is a fucking pussy. All romantic and shit.

Ash just says, "Gimme some sugar, baby."

Absolutely amazing. I would buy that man lunch - partly because I respect the hell out of him, and partly because I'd be terrified not to. That's totally awesome.

This is the 2nd or 3rd story I've heard of one guy stomping the shit outta a bunch of jihadis. Someone should make a movie, greatest Ass-whoopings of all time, starrring Ash, Haag, and a special guest appearance by Bob Dole's Cock.

Good stuff. Er... the war story, not the following gay sex stuff.

Holy shit. By the power vested in me by the Secretary of Defense, Chesty Puller, and Senior DI SSgt Singerhouse, I hereby declare that hardcore muthafucka a MARINE!

Great list. Seriously.

Not to downplay that actions of this bad-ass MoFo, but he had a SAW for crying out loud. That's kind of like finding the "BFG" in Doom. It's more of a man-borne laser beam than a gun. Most accidental disscharges result in the spontaneous amputation of several limbs before the poor bastard can get his finger off the button. I say "The Guys Get SAW's!" There will be a lot more dead bad-guys and a lot more heroes.

"Good...Bad..I'm the guy with the gun."
Classic...loved the Army of Darkness reference...as well as "Like a Viking."

got bronze star & purple heart , got home , staying low . never let them see you hurt ,never show your pain ,just kill the motherfuckers and scare the shit out of the ones that get away.

Hey Spec Haag, if that's really you, a heartfelt thanks for the man's work you've done.

You may say it's nothing special (you guys always do) but Goddamn, man, you are a fucking hero.

Keep it up man, and if you're ever in Portland, Oregon, drop a line to my email (on this comment), and I'll take you out for a night of drinking the likes of which you won't remember at all.

Great job, brother.

Hey I really love this site . I met Tom Brokaw to do an interview with some friends but cancelled that shit . I don't want to be on TV , think about it . Check it out getting " Like A Viking " tattooed , should be sweet . Apparently I'm PTSD material but I still got 16 years fore my 20 . Laterz

Alternativea to the items on the list could be:
"He then made his captives sing YMCA, complete with hand and arms gestures." or;
"Halfway through the firefight, the Laker Girls showed up to cheer for a real winner for a change.", or;
"Other soldiers, awestruck by the spectacle of Haag making the hajis his bitches, noticed that the cloud of smoke generated by the red-hot SAW bore a striking resemblence to a smiling John Wayne."