Fight! Fight! [Dave at Garfield Ridge]

I rarely read Andrew Sullivan anymore.

I stopped long before the election. Late spring, maybe early summer. Either way, I chose to stop reading someone who is simply unable to make any sense at all.

Why would I want to read a pundit who speaks gibberish? I can hang out at a D.C. Metro stop and listen to the tinfoil hat guy-- at least there, I can get some fresh air.

But, knowing how many of Ace's readers enjoy picking on The Excitable One, there was a good time to be had today in the ongoing fued between Mickey Kaus and Sullivan.

On Thursday, Kaus wrote about Sullivan's appearance on Hardball, calling out some choice quotes. Best one:

Mr. SULLIVAN: ...and that's the other point about Iraqi democracy. The signal it will send to Iran, which is our real enemy right now, will be enormously helpful. I'm a--I'm a complete optimist about this. I think it'll--I think it'll work.

Kaus responds by relaying this comment from Sullivan this morning:

Maybe a democratic miracle can occur. But at this point it would be exactly that: a miracle. So pray, will you?

When Sullivan uses the word "optimist," I do not think if he knows it does not mean what he thinks it means.

Here's what Sully wrote this afternoon in response to Kaus:

The accusation this time is that I haven't been steady in my judgment of what's going on in Iraq. Well, let me plead guilty. My judgment of a fast-moving, volatile and opaque situation that is largely off-limits to many journalists has indeed varied with events.

Hey, Iraq sure is a fast-moving situation alright. It must have moved so fast that Andrew Sullivan went from optimism to prayer in less than 48 hours. And here I thought only a Red Sox-Yankees series could force such wild mood swings.

Perhaps Sully's taking too many hormones to think straight for longer than a couple of days.

Sullivan continues by lashing out at the "Viva Bush!" blogosphere. Yes, that means most of us:

What would Mickey have me do? I guess I could take the Reynolds line, rarely acknowledge setbacks or failures, link only to good news, stick my fingers in my ears when things go wrong, and mock those who worry.

...

Does Mickey think the job of a writer is to take a line and stick to it in order to rally morale? If he does, then he can always read Powerline or the Belmont Club. Nothing unpredictable there. Whatever Bush does, they'll defend it.

Well, at least to their credit they think out their position before they shed tears of anguish on their sites.

Reading Sully as he oh-so-slowly arrives at every "difficult" decision-- such as voting for John Kerry-- is like listening to a blind man read a map to a movie theater. Good luck getting to the show on time, and even better luck understanding anything once you get there.

And like the blind man's quest, we always seem to know well beforehand *exactly* where Sullivan will end up on an issue. Can't we just skip the insufferable auto-debate and get to the effin' point, already?

I probably should say something wise and reasoned, like how I've criticized aspects of the war while remaining a strong supporter, or about how I've been extremely disappointed in some of President Bush's decisions but still voted for him with great enthusiasm.

But ya know what? The night is young, and there's good stuff on TV tonight.

If you feel a need to continue imaging an Andrew Sullivan intellectual argument, I suggest you watch this PG-13 video. It tells you everything you need to know about The Excitable One.

-- Dave at Garfield Ridge